Fully connected in person, distant/formal when away?

[Anonymous]

Been in an undefined relationship with a guy for a month now, who is super affectionate, respectful, considerate, consistent, highly intimate and attached when in person, however very distant and formal when we are away. I understand that he does not appreciate digital connection and doesn't text usually in between meet-ups. But its been 5 days since he went out of city to stay with his family but hasn’t reached out once to check in? I initiated with a nice text in the morning and got no reply even after 10 hours. (Assuming all is definitely well on his side) I know he has not formally defined our relationship yet but how can a person who values you can go without a quick check in for this long? Is this normal for most guys? Should i keep my hopes for this relationship?

[HollyK21]

He could be busy, however a week is definitely a long time to have radio silence, not even a quick check in. If I were you, I’d move my conversations with him down on my priority list. Let him come around to you and by the time he does that, you can decide if this is someone you want to continue forward with. Because actions like this could be a window into what you could expect in the future.


I hope you haven’t put all your eggs into his basket so soon (I wouldn’t do that until 2-3 months in), and have kept your options open. If not then you probably should. As you know with dating, things can change at any time and right around now where things are still pretty new would be about the time for that to happen. It sucks but it’s better for that to happen sooner than later so it isn’t too much of a blow. If you were to wash your hands of him now I think it would be simply disappointing but not utterly hurtful.

[Anonymous]

He’s playing u