How do you know when you’re in a committed romantic relationship?

[MissSunshine2]

There’s a man I talk to and see once a month and we’ve agreed to exclusivity but we haven’t labelled what we are to each other. We also haven’t kissed or been intimate sexually.

Updates

4 mo

What should I regard that as, having a boyfriend, or having a friend who’ll become a boyfriend when we’ve finished our studies, in a year?

[Chazmatazz269]

You have a committed relationship. The agreement to not date others is a commitment. Stop trying to label it and just enjoy what you have. If you need or want more, tell him. If he needs or wants more, be open to his asking.
Open and honest communication is the foundation for trust upon which all future commitments will be built.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I know there's commitment on both ends simply because it is, by default, a premise I've always known.

If that default was ever challenged, I'm 100% sure I would be aware of lol, because it's something so unexpected that we would certainly talk about.

[ohsheeT]

Well, is that what you're looking for a committed romantic relationship?

There's another way to say that Friends with benefits

Is that what you're looking for because that's your question

Or do you want to be in that type of relationship , or do you want a deeper relationship

Or will you use that as a stepping stone to get into a deeper relationship

And when you say a committed, it takes 2 people to connect\nAnd to commit.

But to answer your question, you have to love yourself. First , you have to understand the meaning of love , because that's how far you're going to commit to the depth of love that you have of self.

But since there's 2 people that person has to be on the same page as you in order for you to feel what you want to feel.

And if they're not\n Well, then you know. Because you can feel it, you can see from their actions.\nAnd you can tell by their commitment

You can tell if it's a physical commitment, you can tell if it's a spiritual commitment, an energy commitment, a real commitment.

And with each one of those commitments, it has to be like looking in to a mirror. Because when you look at him, if you do not feel the love that you have on the inside of you, there will be no reflection back. But if you look into him and you feel that energy and emotion, and it equals yours, you know it's real?

[DishLady]

• When you can understand one another with just a look.
• When you do things for one another without question or hesitation.
• When you consistently prioritize each other over anything else.
• When you come home to them or hear their voice or just look at them and your heart lights up as their eyes go soft for you and they smile (even without realizing).

[madhatters4]

it sounds like you are in a committed relationship as you mentioned that you two are exclusive. however, it sounds like your relationship isn't particularly romantic yet. have you guys done other things you may not do with a non-romantic partner? cuddle, hold hands, etc?

[MissSunshine2]

Cuddling.

[madhatters4]

sounds like it is a clear romantic committed relationship. you discussed exclusivity and you are doing things generally seen as romantic

[MontBlanc]

You know you’re in a committed romantic relationship when there’s mutual trust, respect, and clear understanding of each other’s intentions.

It’s not just about labels , it’s about consistently showing up for each other, prioritizing the relationship, and making decisions together.

Commitment is felt in actions, not just words.

[Nikki1989]

You know you’re in a committed romantic relationship when both people are choosing each other on purpose, not just spending time together. Commitment is all about patterns of behaviour, shared expectations, and mutual investment that make the relationship feel stable and intentional. It takes time to know men. Most men will say anything to make you feel good at first.

[WhitneySnow]

When a guy says you’re my girlfriend and you’re not having sex. (Can also apply if you are having sex, but in that case there’s a chance the guy is just saying that because he likes the sex.)

In your case, ask the guys if he’s your boyfriend and you’re his girlfriend. Anything but a solid “yes” means you’re not in a committed relationship.

[WonderingManII]

I really wish I had a good answer for this. But since I have been a shut in most of my life I don't know.

[MissSunshine2]

That’s a shame. You’re never too old to meet someone if you really want to. I’m in my late thirties and I am in love with a guy in his early thirties (no older guys will date me, because I don’t look my age).

[WonderingManII]

@MissSunshine2 A man needs to be around single women to have a chance. Currently in my life that is just not possible. Also I tried online dating sites too, and everything I tried online for the past 22 years has been nothing but a failure.

[MissSunshine2]

That really sucks. I have had similar issues in the past. Have you tried meeting women through mutual friends in friend groups?

[WonderingManII]

@MissSunshine2 I have 0 friends. Starting out in school, I was around 3 kinds of people. 1) People who picked on me. 2) People I couldn't trust. 3) People who ignored me. When I got out of school, I was really hoping that would improve. As a Christian, I should of been able to meet someone at Church. But the local Churches behave a lot like my former school did. People ignore me and even my parents! At work it was awful too, because people also either ignored me or picked on me. So by the end of it all, I ended up with 0 friends. That is where I am at today.

[MissSunshine2]

That must be really hard. Are you Autistic, by any chance? I am and I had bad anxiety disorder, depression and mild dependant personality disorder.

[MusicTokuXX]

Yep, me too. Even if i asked my friends, i tried before, everyone kept saying they didn’t know anyone. And having real friends in life is impossible

[WonderingManII]

@MissSunshine2 Maybe we would make a good couple! LOL We both live with problems. Anyways, I recently got evaluated, and what it showed was that I have some ADHD, Lower than Normal Working Memory. Lower than Normal mental processing. Low average IQ. Then it had some other issues too. I've always known about my anxiety, and depression, and OCD.

[MissSunshine2]

Sounds tough. The funny thing is I ended up meeting a guy on a dating app who turned out to be my therapist’s son. We’re not dating until I switch therapists, but we’re in love.

[WonderingManII]

@MusicTokuXX I hear that it is getting harder for some people to make friends. Usually you make your friends in school, or college. I think most people who have successful marriages, meet that person in high school or college. After that it is a pain in the butt to meet new people.

[jazzy34]

You're exclusive, but you don't know what you are. I call that a red flag. Are you sure you want to proceed with this man? The fact that it's not clear is a problem.

[Mariogirl09]

I heard from a dating coach if he says exclusive yet doesn't make you his girlfriend he's playing you. Getting ALL the benefits he needs from you

[capriVib]

If he hasn't approached you, hugged you, or kissed you etc... you can't label it a romantic relationship. You're just friends.

[Berethor]

Well you agreed to exclusivity, but you not acting like a couple if there is no intimacy.

[jshm2]

They aren't trying to put you in a shallow grave...

[exitseven]

When two people are exclusive and are committed to the relationship.

[MusicTokuXX]

If you don’t show it to me with actions or tell me. Then I’m just gonna assume we ain’t together so I would live my life like you never existed because what else would i do?

[genericname85]

when you're just fucking one person and that person is also only fucking you over an arbitrary time.

[LiamJHayden]

"we’ve agreed to exclusivity"

There is your answer. Unless it is verbalized, never assume. Once it has you are committed.

[MereAnarchy]

Love is something you do, not something you plan to do.

[jahaims]

By communicating