How can I find a date if nobody ever hits on me?

[Anonymous]

[William7489]

This is very simple. In this modern world we live in men and women are equal. At least that’s what women tell me. So here’s what you do. Look around and find people that you think are attractive or interesting. Approach them and see if you can engage in conversation. Just casual and if it goes well, go ahead and ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime or coffee. Most guys are really flattered by that. There’s no rule that says the guy has to be the person to initiate A date. It’s a pretty simple solution so I would start scouting around and working on pick up lines, lol

[Asker]

so what if I'm shy and have low self esteem?

[slatyb]

Where are you going to meet single men? If you are going to bars hoping someone picks you out based on appearance, that will work if you are more attractive than most. A better idea is to participate in activities that attract men. Some ideas:
* outdoor meetup groups like hiking, skiing, sailing, canoeing, kayaking, etc. where men outnumber women about 5 to 1. Most are nice and in shape but maybe a bit introverted.
* gaming, chess, board games, backgammon, etc. Also mostly men.
* charity work like Habitat for Humanity. Some married, some single, nice people who care about others.
* meetups for things like movies and books. Also mostly men in my experience
* classes for things like woodworking if that interests you, again mostly men.
* sports bars on game day. You'll get attention. I don't know if that's your type.

[Nikki1989]

You have to make it obvious you are available. Men need all the help they can get.

[Anonymous]

Make the first move. It’s not easy, but it can be worth it.

[Asker]

thats hard as a shy, quiet girl with low self esteem.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it. But the results can definitely be worth it. You don’t have to ask him out. Just talk to him. Get him to notice you.

[Asker]

guys never talk to me.

[Opinion Owner]

I know. That’s why you have to make the first move and talk to them.

[Asker]

It's much easier said than done.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah but I did it

[Asker]

People are different. Just cuz u can do it, doesn't mean everyone else can

[HighValue]

If you are into gaming, try online gaming to meet people that have similar interests. Then you'd already have a lot in common to talk about and bond over if you do find someone.

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe do not wait for them to hit on you. It is ok for a girl to ask a guy out!! Give it a try.

[Asker]

I'm shy and quiet

[Alex-Snow]

That is ok... some guys like that in a girl. go for it!!!

[Asker]

Yea but I'm too shy to talk to guys

[Alex-Snow]

Just be yourself. Smile and make eye contact. Besides you are talking to a guy now? I know it is not irl but it is a start.

[Asker]

I can't even do that. I'm afraid of rejection. Guys never look at me any way

[Alex-Snow]

U sound like a nice person. Perhaps open up to someone you trust or even here on gag with your feelings and desires. Just a thought.

[Asker]

im not gonna look for a date on GAG. thats ridiculous and pathetic.

[Alex-Snow]

I agree... maybe just some advice or some hot chat to get you use to not being shy... just a thought anyway

[Asker]

no. thats not gonna work

[Asker]

it's a huge struggle cuz historically, I've always relied on dating apps to find dates. But now over the years, the quality had gone down by so much, I no longer want to use them. Only weirdos are on dating apps. Its so hard to find a quality person on there

[Alex-Snow]

There are a few good ones.. hang in there

[Asker]

No there isn't.

[Anonymous]

If they're not coming to you, then you need to go to them. If you don't want to do that, then you probably won't date. And that will be on you.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem. It seems to only get worse as I get older.

[Jeff51]

Go mingle with people. Eventually you will find someone.

[capriVib]

Only use dating sites if all else fails.

[Asker]

Dating sites are filled with people who can't get dates in real life

[capriVib]

No problem, you're just like everyone else on dating apps.

[HollyK21]

Notice how he also said you’re just like everyone else needing to use dating apps, but you said nothing in response?

[HollyK21]

@capriVib I’m just pointing something out to the question poster, so this isn’t confusing lol.

[dudeinohio]

Then you hit on guys.

[Asker]

thats hard as a shy, quiet girl with low self esteem.

[dudeinohio]

Oh sorry.

[Danny_dan92]

You wait. If it never happens? Oh well.

[Zionne]

dating sites

[Asker]

Dating sites are filled with people who can't get dates in real life

[HollyK21]

Not even saying this disrespectfully whatsoever Asker, but wouldn’t that include you? You aren’t getting any dates…

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I'm shy and quiet

[HollyK21]

If you’d like to equate your inability to get dates IRL to being because you’re shy and quiet, then that’s fine. But the point still remains — you are in this group of individuals. There are hundreds of reasons, including yours, as to why people find themselves on an app.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

And you're willing to repeat to me again and again that I belong to this group of individuals, what does that say about you?

[Asker]

Other than being shy and quiet. I am a very High quality girl.

[HollyK21]

Should reiterating a fact say something about me? If so what would it be? Right, nothing. You’re just being overly sensitive and confrontational for no good reason. You say you’re a high quality girl as if I questioned your worth in general, which in never did. If your implication is that ONLY low quality individuals use dating apps then you’re entitled to that belief but it’s just simply not fact. As I said, people from all walks of life use dating apps and for all kinds of reasons. In any case, you’re the one asking how you can find a date if nobody ever hits on you, and this commenter gave you a solution, I only added to that notion. If it’s just too deeply offensive to consider then I don't know what to tell you.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

I didn't bother reading your BS

If you make it a point to repeat to someone that they're low quality again and again, that alone speaks volumes about who you are as a person

You're clearly not trying to help but just trying to bully

[HollyK21]

And you’re clearly in your feelings and not seeking advice but to fight with people. I NEVER called you low quality. Also, another guy commented and said basically the same thing I did but he didn’t get this barrage of bullshit. Grow up.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

because you DID REITERATE it twice...

and yes, I do have the right to be offended.

Saying it once time wasn't enough, you had to say it twice.

[HollyK21]

Lol, then I’ll reiterate THIS twice — grow up. As a shy, quiet girl with tragically low self esteem you just aren’t ready for any feedback that isn’t coddled when given. You’ve already used dating apps so I don't know what this is about anyway. Goodbye, and if the rejection is too hard for you to process: it means you’re being dismissed.

Reply if you want to have some sort of smart, final word, I’m sure your ego won’t let you leave the conversation alone lol BUT I won’t be reading.
I know, hard to believe since you personally lack the self-restraint to move on but I don’t have those troubles. Thank god.

[Asker]

@HollyK21

your feedback is what? bullying over people online for being "low quality"?

you're not here to provide ANY feedback... you haven't helped with anything.

[In_Trance]

hit on other people