Is modern dating killing romance or just changing how it looks?

[Babyseal23]

I love my husband, but sometimes I wish we'd met differently. We were brought together through Tinder, like most modern couples, and honestly, if it wasn't for Tinder, I'd probably still be single or would've eventually settled for one of the creepy, desperate weirdos from my hometown. 😂 And by creepy, I mean Jeffrey Dahmer creepy.

Tinder is genuinely one of the reasons I am who I am today. Without it, I wouldn't have my daughter, my husband, my house, my job or even my driving licence. 🤣 Meeting my husband pushed me to have a life I honestly thought I'd never be good enough to have.

I do think the internet and social media have changed romance. Young people don't seem to experience it in the same way our parents did. We're scared of being laughed at or mocked for our feelings, and even more scared of being accused of being a creep.

I think girls watch films like The Notebook and see things as romantic that, in real life, they'd probably call the police over. 😂 A man writing you 100 love letters sounds romantic in a film because you know he's the love interest. In real life, if I'd already made it clear I wasn't interested and someone kept sending me letters, I'd be carrying pepper spray. 😂

I also don't think looks have as much to do with it as people think. One of my biggest stalkers at school was actually the popular, good-looking guy. He was still creepy as fuck, and he still creeps me out now.

I think we should bring back some simple, old-fashioned dating. A man comes up to a woman, asks for her number and she can say yes or no. If she says no, you accept it and walk away respectfully.

Confidence is attractive, but there's a huge difference between confidence and entitlement. Being brave enough to say, "I like you," is attractive. Being unable to accept "no" isn't.

Maybe that's what we've lost not romance itself, but the ability to approach someone honestly, accept rejection gracefully and let people choose each other freely

[RavVid]

Did you know that marrying for love is a fairly new concept that only widely started in the early 1800's when women's mags started promoting it.

There are two primary rungs to romance.

The first being that there is someone of the opposite gender that will bring great joy and pleasure to your life. This does reflect common experience though honeymoon love has a shelf life and hopefully is replaced by enduring mature love.

Easy unilateral no fault divorce has largely killed this off. Willingness to invest has to be a casualty of easy divorce. Willingness to work out conflicts is more work than to divorce.

Another consequence of short duration marriages is that all relationships become short duration because the till death do us part light on the hill is lost

So I think easy no fault divorce is the primary killer of romance.

[Nikki1989]

It hasn't killed anything but has changed how romance is packaged, marketed, and initiated. Of course people fall for all the scams. After all, the easiest way to meet someone is still to get off your butt, go out into the real world, and socialize.

[exitseven]

@Babyseal23 Yes, I dated in the 80s and 90s. I met girls in a lot of different ways that did not involve the internet. I met my ex girlfriend because we lived in the same college dorm. I met another girl in the library and another in a bar. She was the bartender.

I met my wife at the beach. Looking back it really was a fun experience. There was a lot more romance to it and it was not so transactional.

[Anonymous]

If you look at every 50 year period of time, people didn't date the same way as the generation before them.

[Paige2006]

Just changing how it looks

[WhitneySnow]

You raise some really good points