Questions: Dating

I read a research paper today explaining how people naturally are more drawn to things that are rare and/or require effort to acquire, thus making it more valuable, and don't see something that's easily acquired as anything worthwhile.

Which is a principle that has also been adopted in the dating world I think. People who act, or simply are, hard-to-get, seem more interesting to people because they will naturally be drawn to this person because it would actually mean something to make this person interested in you. You'd have to earn it.

Which brings me to my question. Would you personally see yourself generally being more attractive to that nonchalant guy, who doesn't really pay attention to people, minds his own business but is charismatic and intriguing at the same time in the limited conversations that you have with him, or would you prefer that bubble, positive happy guy, who likes to talk, is generally the center of attention and gives you a bunch of compliments?

Years ago I briefly dated a former stripper. She might of done some “side work” but it was never confirmed. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

After getting into long conversations with her she was actually much smarter than I expected. She was of course extremely beautiful. She was one of the top 3 most attractive women I had ever slept with in my life.

Ironically she came from a good family but she was the “problem child”. She wanted to date me seriously but she didn’t have a steady work nor any plans to go back to college (she dropped out). She also had problems with excessive marijuana use and experimenting with other harder drugs

I didn’t want a relationship but I did care for her. I was willing to just stay platonic friends and help her recover. I saw the potential if she reformed. But she didn’t accept that. I also inadvertently made a very stupid insulting comment after we had sex one time (and said wow you are so tight). I regretted saying that. I would of apologized if we talked again.

Anyway I followed her IG for a long time. She has now been sober from all drugs for 2 years. She also got several of her tattoos removed and she is going back to college. I don’t expect her to let me “accept” her idea of dating steadily at this point. But if she was were she was at now vs where she was 5 years ago I would of definitely considered it. But at the time I think she saw me as a “safety net nice guy”. Also I just bought my own house and she figured she might be get free rent if she moved in. But she was a mess at the time and was it really my job to reform her?

So I've been hooking up with a woman for over 4 years now, but now she seems to be trying to lock me down as a boyfriend. She knows that I'm fucking 2 other women, but she wants me to be exclusive with her. The thing is that she's getting fatter and starting to get saggy boobs etc. she's getting older and more desperate. I'm thinking I shhould just dump her. Thoughts?

Let’s be clear. There is a fundamental difference between someone disagreeing with you vs. being a douche and insulting. Some people think that getting the answer they don’t want to hear is “trolling”. It’s not.

Trolling is when you are just being a douche who put zero thought into what the other person is saying and/or their position.

For example if I see an overweight girl post about “being picky” (yes I have seen this) I won’t insult her appearance. But I will tell her the truth that she has two options: she can either improve her physique or she can stay as is but she has to lower her standards. I won’t day something stupid like “just get on a treadmill you fat ass”. There are minority of guys out there who do that but its rare

But I notice many women on here who troll and tear into men with little regard over things guys have little control over (age, height, etc.). The word “creep” is there ace hole in one insult and they will use it despite the guy not saying anything sexual (it’s based on their bs “feelings”)