I have always said no but tbh I think it matters on the man and how good he is with money. There’s loads more factors that are far more important to me, and money has never been something I’ve focused on in a man. However, I’m having some problems at the moment in my relationship with this. We rent privately so it’s a bit pricey, cost of living has gone up. My partner earned more than me for years, I recently got a pay rise and we earn about the same now. It’s not a high wage at all. The whole time I have been the one paying for everything…he sold his car for money and was going to buy another but instead decided to share mine and spoke about how great it was but I was paying for all the finance, fuel, insurance, tax. I pay for all of the food shops. I paid for most of our last holiday expecting to be paid back and wasn’t. I paid for our Christmas tree. The other day it turns out that he has been spending his money on things he doesn’t need, and now has pretty much no money. We paid rent yesterday and instead of splitting it in half I had to pay extra money - 3 quarters of the rent (by the way I have like no money and have been avoiding buying things I don’t need because I need to save). Also, to add, he finishes work before me, works a day less (but we still get the same pay), but I also do 95% of all the cooking and cleaning. And he gets to choose what we watch on TV so I never watch what I want. It’s the most boring videos ever and I try to act interested but it gets so old.
So, after this situation now…. I wouldn’t mind if a guy earns less than me at all. But if he’s horrendous with money, saving, spending etc. i would have to think about that given my low wage. I am constantly in a state of worry and stress right now because my partner also wants to quit his job, has nothing else lined up, is looking at working part time or a job that pays far less and wants to focus on studying instead. Maybe one day we’ll be comfortable…. I wish for that anyway.
I love him so much, he treats me amazingly and is a wonderful person but this is really bothering me right now and is why I would consider money now when I never used to…
Are you sure it’s worth being with him if you see him as a net loss in terms of finances but a net gain in terms of happiness? You could find a man that had a net gain in both
@Paul09 This is what all men say but it's so common. It's so lame that even middle aged men can't take responsibility for male shortcomings ever, it's always just that somehow every single woman on earth has bad taste in men, not that there might be a common issue with male socialization and the resulting behavior. This has only happened to me once, I have only ever been with one man in my life, but I have seen it happen to others consistently as well. Even men below in the other comments are admitting that it makes them feel emasculated and bitter.
He was a dorky "nice guy" but it still didn't save me. Broke-mindset men may start out super sweet and innocent but masculinity has been so tied up with money that they become bitter over time and take it out on the closest person (their girlfriend or wife) . I've always found bad boys obnoxious and childlike, they remind me of bratty 8-year-old boys so I avoid them.
There you go , you are generalizing. A lot of men ruin it for the actual good men. And I see it too. But there are plenty of good men that will never get the chance to prove people like you wrong. You had the illusion he was good, but he wasn't. He just wanted things to go his way. I'm nothing like most men. But yet these foolish men keep getting all the chances.
Whatever, I always try to be a good person. You are good to me, I'm good to you. I know there ton of evil people. But there's always a lot if good people. So I'm guessing you think the same of your dad, grandfather, uncles cousins, brother?
I think it depends a lot also on if any ladies who I was dating or married to, would mind if I'm still pretty immature for my age. Or, I'm a bit, uh, gullible.
Surely they'd notice that about me first than my earnings. I earn an okay amount of money per year, but then again, I'm single, so, maybe my money would only be suitable for one man, not one man plus one woman as a couple.
I don't know, I haven't done the calculation considerations here ha, but oh well. I don't think the relationship life is for me, I'm quite happy single and supporting family/friends instead, emotionally not financially, lol, otherwise I'd have a girlfriend or wife, and that's expensive as much, so I'm very happy with my current status in life.
I think I went on a long answer, apologies, but also, great question, upvote.
I did and then we get married :-). we will celebrate 20 years of marriage together next year. What's important to note is that we both work towards similar financial and emotional goals. I don't buy whatever I want and he doesn't take advantage of the fact that we are well-off financially. We both could live on our own with what we make, but choose to work together toward mutual goals.
There could be other factors that would matter more, however I will say that I am not really career oriented, I have a pretty good job but I plan to leave it at some point to be a kindergarten teacher, and I might take a few years away from working at a job when I have kids. So, it would be better for everybody if he made more than me. It is not about greed, well I don't know maybe it is in some way, but to me it is more about stability and what I think suits everybody the best.
And ShellyB here makes a great point, how it depends on so much about is this a woman (in the question's question) who wants a man for a husband and offspring, or is she happy to settle for a boyfriend/husband and always be renting and never having kids, but having affordable holidays and just the two of them for life. So it depends on is the question of earnings based on a future husband plus kids or just a future husband and never any kids/no family plans. Basically.
If it's just dating then yeah, the income doesn't matter. If you are thinking of progressing the relationship it's important to discuss fiances and set realistic expectations about what you both can afford be it dates, travel, moving in and in general who would pay for what. If money is a big factor for you then you always have to bring it up and discuss it. It really depends on whether you want someone who financially earns more and supports you or if you're comfortable paying for them depending on what you guys do and the nature of the relationship.
In life as you age and go through experiences you find out everything is vanity in life with the exception of your health, quality bed to sleep on and decent food to eat.
A woman that rejects a man that works full time and is a good decent man because he happens not to come close to her salary based wise he dodged a bullet.
Yes I would because it doesn't matter. I just don't agree with dating someone based upon their income or what "they can provide". (that's my opinion, I'm not saying this is how you're taking it)
By a noticeable amount? No, right now I already earn what I call the minimum that being 30k/year... but I know in less than 5 years this will be more than the double tho
I don't think I earn enough for this since I prefer men with some level of ambition. I'm not against it if I was earning more and he was making what I'm making now.
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