m I didn't watch the full video... so I might be missing context here but
is she saying that, after 30 years or so of hooking up with guys, she finally realized that she was going to be end up unmarried?
because the title of the video says "hook-up culture" was she just hooking up with guys, for sex... for three decades, and then realizes "oh wait, I do not have a husband"
does anyone really need 30 years to reach to that "realization" ? lol...
@NathanDavis It's okay; you didn't have to watch the whole thing. Just that one segment.
And, I mean... I guess some people do? 🤷
Time flies, as they say, and sometimes it will just pass you right by. If you're not living intentionally.
after 30 years of making the same "mistakes" you now regret... that's not exactly "coming to a realization"
you cannot just expect someone to "take care of you" when you didn't take care enough yourself for 30 years straight
but again, I don't know the actual details on her situation or the aim of this video... "hook-ups" just give it all a negative connotation, lol
@NathanDavis You really should watch that one segment. That will help you to better understand this woman's situation.
But yes, I generally fully agree with what you said.
not sure which other segment you refer to but...
after 30 years of bad choices, one should not be SURPRISED that they do result in bad outcomes... lol
@NathanDavis I know, I know. Lol. We're on the same page there. (Not that I don't still feel bad for her. Because I do.)
And the segment begins at 9 minutes and 49 seconds.
well, yes... I get that
but personally, I cannot afford to feel bad for absolutely everyone out there having a rough time, those are millions upon millions of people
and if were to be selective about who I do feel bad for, how bad do I feel for them, and for how long I will feel bad for them till I just watch a funny cat video and forget about the other people, well, then I might give a priority to the people who actually tried to do things right and got bad outcomes
not so much for those who kept making the same mistakes for so long and then on top of that have some sort of regret for not having something that is actually a bit selfish in the first place, lol
@NathanDavis I do understand what you're saying. It makes perfect sense.
I've seen that type of stuff so much it's not funny.. It's unfortunately true to life.. I feel for the woman, but she did make her own choices to live the life she wanted.. Hopefully she finds a great guy one day though.. Unfortunately with the way things are going now, there will be a lot more women like her in the future.. Might even turn into the norm.
@JDavid25 Yeah, man. The future is not looking bright for society.
@JDavid25 Well, you need to behave yourself, too. 😏. Like, Amanda said, don't let men off the hook either. Haha
If you seen me in real time, I'm too "behaved".. LOL.. And, well I try and be an equal opportunity judger.. Neither men nor women are perfect, and have both fallen short.. It's just that men's stinky sh! t always gets called put, whereas societal wise women get all types of passes for being just as evil.
Opinion
15Opinion
The video was interesting, Jamie.
I think it's quite a good video, and the host is all right, and the stories she chose to feature are touching and a bit sad. Very heartfelt, anyway.
I do have a bit of an issue at the disparity here, of showing older women as having wasted their youth, and missing out on the good guys. "All the good guys are married, they married back then." Well if that's the case (and I don't disagree with that, maybe, sort of) then aren't all the good girls gone now too? I think it's not right to put one group in that, but not the other.
But lots of people get divorced, and their partners pass away, and various other of life's difficulties happen, so there's always going to be a certain percentage of the population who is single at any given time. The difference now is people are waiting longer than ever before in history, to get married, and many males do not want to marry at all.
I don't know if this is too broad a statement and generalization, but the quality of people overall seems to be sort of devolving. You've got a lot of social media-obsessed girls who seem to feed off of that system, and guys who would rather play video games every night than bother trying to dive head-first into a pretty abysmal dating pool. Guys were always reluctant to commit; now there's even more reasons not to.
If a guy fucks around a lot in his youth, is his value later in life really more than a girl who does the same? I have a problem with that. That double standard doesn't fly. However, people who keep waiting, and waiting, and passing offers by, because they think they can do better, and have been told "Don't settle" and "You deserve more" and that is also a recipe for being alone.
@AmandaYVR Well, I mean, yeah; most of the good girls ARE gone. I don't really know what you're getting at. But it is true. Believe me, I would know. There are a lot of girls that I kind of knew and was somewhat interested in, but I was always too shy to talk to them; and of course they eventually married someone else. So yeah, I know all about this particular phenomenon, from personal experience.
"But lots of people get divorced,...". Eh, but no one really wants to marry divorced people. Because they've already shown that they cannot handle relationships, they cannot keep a promise, they cannot stay faithful, and/or they are impulsive and not good at making wise decisions. They may not be all of those things, but all of them are a negative.
So a divorced person absolutely has a huge disadvantage in the dating market.
Plus, I have seen people in my parents generation get married 2 or 3 times, and get divorced every time.
Heck, I've even seen it in my OWN generation now!
This one girl I know, bless her heart, has been in like 4 long-term relationships and been married twice. I'm REALLY hoping this recent one works out for her!! 🧡🤞
Well, yes, the quality of people IS devolving. On both sides. On the women's side, I think they are just following bad influences and trends. On the men's side, I think they just give up and don't care anymore. So that's why they're not really pushing themselves to do big things and impress women. Because they don't see any women that they really want to impress.
"If a guy fucks around a lot in his youth, is his value later in life really more than a girl who does the same?". Oh, I don't believe that at all, Amanda. I definitely do NOT support the Double Standard. Men should be held accountable for their own actions just as much as women should. (As a matter of fact, I wish more women WOULD hold them accountable! Instead of just giving these men a pass. Because they're "successful" or whatever.)
"However, people who keep waiting, and waiting, and passing offers by, because they think they can do better, and have been told "Don't settle" and "You deserve more" and that is also a recipe for being alone."
I totally agree with this, too! (Shit... I wish I knew that in high school.)
I asked a poll q once, and was a bit surprised that this idea of the good people getting snatched up was really not that popular. Majority disagreed with it.
Of the people you know who are in 'happy' or 'successful' committed relationships, to what do you credit this? ↗
Here's the thing about divorce (one thing): People change. Sometimes a lot. The younger the two people marry, the more they will change over their lifetime. Sometimes that change is together, sometimes it is more in different directions.
Sometimes people don't actually know each other that well. So things, 'surprises', come up. So people are making a promise on their wedding day, based on the conditions of that time, and knowledge they had at that time. (A good reason not to rush into marriage.)
These are some of the reasons people divorce. Their values even change sometimes.
But yeah, also people tend to give up, and not honour the marriage or that other person. Happens a lot too.
"Well, yes, the quality of people IS devolving. On both sides. On the women's side, I think they are just following bad influences and trends. On the men's side, I think they just give up and don't care anymore. So that's why they're not really pushing themselves to do big things and impress women. Because they don't see any women that they really want to impress."
Interesting. Well I wouldn't say that it's only females that are following bad influences, but that's an interesting point that males are losing interest in impressing females.
I answered your poll. :)
"Sometimes people don't actually know each other that well...". Yes! And that's why you- "(A good reason not to rush into marriage.)". EXACTLY! 👍👍👍👍💯
"But yeah, also people tend to give up, and not honour the marriage or that other person. Happens a lot too."
Right
"Well I wouldn't say that it's only females that are following bad influences". Oh, no; you're definitely right. A lot of young men getting into bad things and making terrible lifestyle decisions (drugs, gangs, etc.)
*but that's an interesting point that males are losing interest in impressing females."
Thanks. Yeah, I think it's totally true. Across the board, not just me.
I think both genders need each other in one way or another.
Where are you from?
Hey handsome man
Hey, @Nancynaomi. Thanks for the compliment! I appreciate that.
And yes; I agree with you.
You can chat with me privately if you'd like.
It's true that you do not have the same dating pool at 46 that you do in your 20s, but that also doesn't mean that she is reasonable in her expectations now or would have been then.
Okay... whatever... same ole same ole.
I think a lot of it is just that women in general are not valued. Motherhood isn't valued, women's careers are not valued, and homemaking isn't valued.
I stayed with my (at the time) very sweet "good-guy" ex from 12th grade to age 26 when he started abusing drugs, gambling with money that should have been our future, and using porn behind my back mainly to impress and fit in with OTHER MEN.
He suggested marriage when I left him because he knew what I wanted but was only willing to give it to me when I was ready to leave him.
I wasted ages 18 to nearly 27 paying 50/50, doing most of the cleaning and cooking, making lunches and dinners for him to pick up during his work shifts etc. and he never appreciated it. I worked just as much as he did and also went to university but he never took care of me the way I took care of him but I was raised to be a "ride or die".
I regret being the "good girl" more than anything in my life.
I was going to leave him at 23 because I felt like his mommy more than his partner but people shamed me and said what a nice guy he was and how much he loved me so I stupidly stayed. When he came into a bunch of money suddenly I just wanted to start a life together but he wanted to keep pretending to be 17 forever.
Now I have strict standards and will only date provider men who have too much sexual discipline to watch porn and would be ashamed to make a woman pay 50%.
I'm glad I didn't hook up with anyone but buying into the lie that "teen love" is ideal and you should keep trying to fight for your relationship and be loyal to the end almost drove me to end my life. He financially abused me and left me financially crippled probably hoping that no other men would want me with all the debt he put me in. He didn't realize, however, that the cohabitation laws where we live considered us as good as married after year 3.
So now I'm in my 20s, have never been married, but I am getting a divorce. He went on a trip and has ignored the lawyer even though he has to provide financial disclosure by the end of this week. The money he has is from an investment he secured using joint household funds behind my back so the more he avoids it the worse the judge is going to make things for him. I didn't want any of this. I just wanted to build a life together and love him. Then I just wanted to have a clean break, I didn't even want half the money, I regret being innocent and catering to him.
Being a slut doesn't pay off sure, but neither does being a good girl.
When it comes to men a woman has to be strategic and sometimes a bit manipulative so she doesn't get taken advantage of, unfortunately.
I am so sorry that happened to you. :(
I hope you do not become bitter. Yes, get your revenge on him, because he's a piece of shit and he deserves it. But please don't take your anger out on other men. Just be careful and cautious. And yes, don't ever let anyone take advantage of you ever again.
Have you seen the movie "Think Like A Man"? I would highly recommend watching it if you have not.
Thanks, really I don't even want to take it out on him but he rebounded a few weeks after we broke up with a former prostitute who has had a really hard life and according to his little sister he's already treating he with a lot less respect than he even had for me. I'm hoping that once he's going through the divorce process it will scare her away. I don't think she is mentally healthy enough to be able to deal with him right now and it really upsets me.
I don't want to manipulate men in a nefarious way I have just realized that men tend to value their ego a lot more so you have to be tactical and make men think that your idea was really their idea and things like that. I have heard of it but I haven't seen it. I'm trying to educate myself a lot better about how to understand men so I don't get burned again so things like that will probably help!
Oh my gosh. Yeah, she really doesn't need his shit right now. Especially when she's trying to get her life back in order.
Okay.
Yeah! It's definitely good to learn as much as you can. Be proactive in protecting yourself.
"I think a lot of it is just that women in general are not valued. Motherhood isn't valued, women's careers are not valued, and homemaking isn't valued."
Who remembers fathers day? How many Domestic Violence Shelters for men are there? Who mostly died in wars and on the Titanic? People value women more than men in normal circumstances always have.. People always mention the women in the Middle East, but never ask how the men are doing.. I'm sorry you went through that, but one guy who probably had all the signs of the guy he turned into but was ignored because (in. your words he was a sweet guy.), doesn't make a narrative true..
You were in a one sided relationship. Just to become one sided yourself.
I refuse to date one sided. I refuse to be one sided.
I’m sorry about that guy. He’s a piece of shit. But that is honesty how I feel.
It’s also wrong to be manipulative. There is shitty women who take advantage of men out there too.
You also can’t force marriage on someone who isn’t ready.
What do you mean by manipulative?
I mean. If I was making more money then a woman I wouldn’t expect her to pay 50 percent. If a woman was working full time I wouldn’t expect her to do all the housework.
But at the same time if I was working and she was not. She better not expect me to lift a finger unless I want to.
Far as dates go. Nobody is entitled to free anything. It’s soemthifn you do to be nice.
If you expect too much out of someone and give little to even nothing in return. It’s misery.
Like in your case. He was a one sided dick.
She doesn't look 46. She is extremely attractive for her age. She must have been beautiful at age 20 when all she had to do was snap her finger and guys would come running. She had plenty of opportunities to marry a good man and have a family. However, she was hooking up with the hottest Alpha men and rejecting the super nice Beta men that wanted to marry her.
Although occasionally, a woman may hook up with an exceptionally hot guy that she doesn't consider to be marriage material, generally women will not date or hook-up with men they would not marry. Men are different, they will not marry a when they believe they can marry better. However, because a woman is quick and convenient and can satisfy their immediate desire, they will have sex with her when they know she is not wife material.
Apparently, too many women either don't know that or least they act as if they don't know that and believe if a guy will have sex with her, she is at his level. Without much doubt that was why the 46 years old woman is still single. She would only date the hottest Alpha men and now she realizes she passed the hundreds of opportunities she had for ten years from ages 18 to 27. At age 46, none of those good men want her and to get married she must scrape the bottom of barrel which she is unwilling to do.
@KelleyNice Yes, she does look good for her age; I agree with you.
This is an old question, but it just showed up in the sidebar, so here I am.
It makes me feel lucky to be married.
I've been married for close to 30 years and have had deep regret about having done so through most of those years.
For the last couple of years, though, I've come to need my wife to take care of me in many ways. I'm still ambulatory, but she has had to take over much of what I used to do. She does so, without complaint.
Though there's no promise in what tomorrow might bring, the way I look at it is that I paid my bill in advance and am now finally receiving some benefits.
They are benefits that I wish I was not in need of, but I appreciate them all the same.
God bless you, sir.
Thanks!
Many people do stuff. To later on regret it. It’s like people on here who argue with me. Wanting to defend their actions.
But let’s not just attack women. Men also sleep around too. It takes two.
If someone wants to sleep around male or female. Anyone of high value is not going to want to be with them. They’re just going to attract other people who only want sex. That’s just the way it is.
It is better for someone to regret their choices and repent to God and move on. But. Sleeping around has negative effects.
Women are in their prime at a young age. Going through the motions and living for the moment. You can’t get away with things when ur older. I wouldn't date somebody just for fun. Id date for marriage. Ex: “dont go to the grocery store hungry because u just might take something that isn't urs.”
@Boomchakalaca I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to share their "prime" with their life partner. Instead they waste it on some asshole.
A lot of modern women act like whores & then expect men to treat them like traditional women who didn't do that. They want all of the benefits but none of the responsibilities, obligations and so on. Most guys are smart enough to know (even if only on a subconscious level) not to take a woman like this seriously. Kevin Samuels used to talk about this stuff all the time.
Well, if I'm mentally and emotionally turned off by her, how can I ever be attracted to her?
I don't know i know people are different. Some people I honestly don't think are built for relationships like that. My dad's single in his 40s and he's happier now than when he was married. My mom's married and happy. I'm married and happy. My friend is unmarried in her 20s, we've talked and she's seriously considering not getting married at all.
I think it's more about the push. People get pushed into one side or the other by their parents, or tradition, or their friends and the cool new trends, whatever. People get all this pressure to do one or the other and there's very little room on either side for thinking maybe in the long term, this won't be good for me as a specific person. There needs to be more tolerance for different choices, and more knowledge about this shit in the open. That would help keep people from fucking up their long term needs so much.
Ambivalent. She didn't say she doesn't have a husband to share her life with. She said "I don't have a husband to take care of me". It's still all about her. And that is why she, this is why most women fail. I mean no one can help her. She has to realize that guys have needs, guys have wants, and relationships are WORK! They don't just happen. Some of the best guys aren't real handsome. Sometimes the best woman aren't very skinny. And sometimes you have to wash away the grime to find the gem in somebody. I'm sorry to say this woman will probably always be single. But I'm afraid she chose it, as much by her inaction as well as her actions.
Fair enough, man. I hear you.
Thanks for sharing with us. I think them Ladies are getting tired of the hook-up culture and the one age 46 wish she would have met someone who was marriage minded
You are welcome. Thanks for watching!
You are welcome :)
It's an amazing contrast. I'm in my mid 40's, single and I love it. But I look after myself, help others, know what I was put on this planet to do (my life purpose) , and I am very strong and healthy. I've always been against hookup culture and I don't date. dating is for simps and free meals for women...
Thank you for sharing, sir! :)
I don't really feel anything by it. She just complaining about how she doesn't have a husband to care for her. Which kind of seems stupid since most men aren't even caring like that.
@Apple1996 I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't doubt the veracity of your experience. (My sadness stems not from your outlook but from the circumstances that created it. Men need to be better.)
Yeah my husband isn't to bad. He's decently caring but like with my dad he won't even go into the hospital when my mom gets surgeries (and she's had a lot of them due to cancer and her heart issues). Also he doesn't help her after. I've had to go help her countless times.
I think it's especially the older guys that aren't caring. If this women is in her 40s it's unlikely she will find a good caring husband.
@Apple1996 Aw. That's sad.
"Which kind of seems stupid since most men aren't even caring like that." If I were a different man, I would call thar statement a bit sexist.. You and your mother married the men your father and husband are.. Don't know the full circumstances behind the little strive between y'all, but you can't caste that experience and say "that's how most men act".. In fact for all we know your father and husband couldn't have taken off of work, and you could be like those wives who complain about their husbands online but in real life their husbands put in the extra work to support the family..
"Men naturally lack empathy" Not true at all.. Women have higher empathy than men for children and some other specific things.. But we far from lack empathy.. Especially since men are usually the ones jumping into danger to save people first.. "Countless women" still doesn't equal most men.. You could find countless women who talk fondly about their husbands and say the same thing in reverse.. It's anecdotal.. I'm sure you can also find countless men who say their wives are assholes to them.. Doesn't mean most women are assholes to men..
And while I do think only financially supporting your family isn't enough, it's definitely not a joke.. While I think men definitely need to do better, so do women.. We're both selfish beings..
I hear stories like this frequently. It is sad that so many get suckered into following the trends and then end up midlife with little or nothing.
The leftists have sold women a bill of lies to their detriment.
Sadly, I agree.
The Left used to support women's rights. Now they are collaborators and colluders with the Patriarchal system of oppression.
I think the men in the movement probably tricked the women.
Makes me feel bad for her to some degree, I suppose
suits the girl for being a hoe her whole life
How the fuck? 🤔🤔
Lol. What do you mean?
C’est la vie. That’s what friends are for.
ok. the bible has guidelines that would preclude all of this. but no one wants to accept that.
if a guy has a hoodie and you're uncomfortable... you're a racist.
empowered women are gonna be old hags eventually and these you young women are eventually going to regret it.
these two women seem to be figuring shit out but this is old information that has been suppressed. well, good for them.
i'm a recovering sex addict. i recognize what they're saying but it's not new. her grandma probably told her this a while ago.
as a recovering sex addict i see the vulnerability of women and remember how i sought damaged women. i was a damaged man... by being molested from the age of 4, by men and abused by psychotic women.
women who want to be empowered but only use their vagina to dominate men... who are also damaged and maybe abused and molested too (like me).
bottom line... if u ever took advantage of others, regardless of your previous abuse... u deserve the SHIT available... because u took advantage of others.
it's convoluted. it's complicated. it's messy.
if at any point your choice is to use others... then i have no pity for you. suffer.
and so many others will listen and obey what they hear and see on social media because they are selfish. they want to be empowered and stand on top of all the bodies possible.
abuse is rampant. abusers do not have to become abusers themselves.
your intent might be different than what i'm able to process at this moment so i'll give u the benefit of the doubt. i've always noted that you have good intentions. i have a past full of abuse. i've had a good wife that helped me through a lot of the shit of my childhood but we're all dealing with other shit now. i have nothing negative to say. i still have memories of horrid abuse.
so... i just vomited out a bunch of blah. the interviewer seems a little disingenuous to me. the interviewee seems a little self-righteous and SO enlightened... when it's never been a good idea to be promiscuous... and the girl in the car is most likely a victim of childhood abuse that listened to militant feminists and now regrets it.
we're all broken. using others, whether ur bi or gay or straight is wrong.
this is all old stuff. and these two girls that feel so enlightened are just as blind as the rest of those survivors of abuse struggling to move ahead.
I don't think the first woman is interviewing the second woman. I think she's just playing video clips from the other woman's show, and then adding her own commentary in addition to the other woman's commentary.
[HUG]. 👍💪
Lol im still won't wife any of those woman
🤣. Why?
@sakuranaruto Why what?
TL;DL
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