Polls: Dating

On a dating app maybe 2+ months ago, I talked to someone anywhere around 1-3 weeks. Maybe daily or every other day, he eventually suggested meeting up and the weekend he asked, I had to work. When I suggested another time when I was free, he was out of town. He eventually follows up when he’s back asking if we could meet and the times weren’t lining up as I was adjusting to a new job (didn’t tell him that) & he sent the last message asking if I wasn’t a night owl bc he was proposing meeting after work. I never followed up and I don’t know why I self sabotage/chicken out. I’m not romanticizing, I find him attractive & would consider him but I just get antsy yet feel apathy when it comes to (potentially) dating. Should I follow up and see if he’d be open to meeting up or just leave it alone? Tbh if I was him I wouldn’t give me a chance which is why I haven’t reached out recently. Well today I sent him a message & I’m kind of regretting it atm:

Hey.. so I know this is random but I do hate that I went MIA a few months ago. Truthfully at the time I was adjusting to a new job/ was a bit antsy & I really don’t want it to come across as going back to the drawing board because I haven’t met up with anyone since I joined the app this yr. If you’re up for a redo then that’d be superb

Link to convo

https://imgur.com/a/gq4H854

I usually reply to msgs once a day/every other day but when I decide to be quicker, this happens. I really don’t see what I did wrong with just giving my # instead

29F and I can’t help but feel like I must want a relationship if I tend to go periods where I install and uninstall the apps. Oddly enough, I feel like my experience with the types of guys I’ve encountered on these apps has kind of improved compared to in my early twenties, as in I tend to attract at least physically the kind of guys I’d actually consider. I look the same compared to back then but now I also feel like I can vet out who’s messing around earlier on & end it right away, the apps are still garbage but I think it’s more a matter of how I’ve changed too. So…I think I’m attracted to them based off their profile & I haven’t been catfished but a lot of the time, I end up not liking them. There’s been cases where yes it’s 50/50 and it’s mutual on both ends regarding lack of interest. I just have this expectation of them when meeting and don’t have a desire to see them again. And when we’re at the point where it’s close to meeting in person and they initiate, I chicken out or try to find an excuse. It’s a combination of apathy + feeling like eh it’s not gonna work so just let it slow fade. I just know I’ll be disappointed & being as old as I am without a LTR, it seems kind of not worth pursuing at this point. Ever since I was in my teens I’ve just never understood the desire to be boy crazy or just consumed with boys like every other girl I knew, this indifference has been lingering since but this gnawing pressure is also at the back of my mind to try in case of FOMO. Does that make sense? This applies sexually too, a lot of people wanted to experiment & fuck around but I have no desire to be sexually active/self pleasure. But I always wonder if this right person that everyone talks about will change that for me…I’m so conflicted.