Married People GAG, What would you do if your opposite sex coworker, or opposite sex boss asked you to have dinner with them outside of work alone?

[Anonymous]

This happened to my wife recently, Her boss asked her out to dinner, i was there for the phone call. She doesn't hide anything from me. and no i was not spying, she just refuses to hide anything from me. When her boss asked, she said "Let me see if my husband is free" The boss immediately retorted with "Why does your husband need to know" My wife responded by saying "Its not appropriate for me to go on that kind of outing with you, especially without my husbands knowledge or participation" Her boss hung up on her. The next day, she was terminated. Of course we recorded the conversation and are doing what we need to do with that against him and his company. I think she handled the situation the same way i would. there is no way in hell im going to go anywhere, or do anything alone with a female coworker or manager, or boss, without my wife being present. Its not appropriate, and 99% of affairs start with meeting someone alone and forming a connection. neither one of us want to throw away our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Not married, but I have never had a boss married or otherwise invite me out to dinner alone (or any female employee for that matter). For what purpose? Like what can't we discuss on the job if its business related? The only times my boss ever went out with any staff is when there were at least a dozen other staff present.

You never want to be in any type of situation (I'd think) as the boss where it's his/her word against yours should something happen, or someone lies about what happened, or to be accused of wrongdoing you certainly didn't do. I think its super suspicious that he hung up when your wife said, not without my husband. RED FLAG.

I remember when I became a supervisor, my boss at the time sat me down and warned me---he said as nice as the staff are, just remember they are NOT your friends. Everyone has a phone, everyone is recording everything, you're always being watched, people always want your job, and they will always do anything to get it. I was like, Jesus, but it's true. Even if you're just having a nice dinner and that's it, I think its just far too risky without having someone else there whether you're married or not.

[Asker]

You definitely won't find me disagreeing. In my own work, I as a boss don't take any of my colleagues out for dinner alone. It's always a party or a group if you get my meaning.

[midnightmoon05]

She did the right thing. I would have done the same. Let us know how things go with the next step.
can she get another job easily?

[Asker]

Oh Definitely.

[HaveNoName]

Well, people like it or not, the first thing to accept it that men and women are not the same. They were created to be different in many ways including behavior. If that is not understood and if someone keeps saying that no situation is same with its a man or a woman, then you would never understand or accept the reality.

At the workplace, I can bet you, a male coworker or a manager will only ask you for dinner if there is something else going on in his mind. It may not even be a relationship; But there has to be some kind of interest in the mind to go out for dinner.

If it was lunch you can accept it with a grain of salt.

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly

[AviatorTom]

Over my long career, my female boss (I've had a few) has asked me out to lunch dinner a few times, to discuss business things: how to deal with a client, what kinds of things should our department emphasize, what's my option on workers (she was completing the annual employee reviews). Having lunch or dinner together is a private setting, away from the office, where you can freely discuss things that would be difficult to do in the office.

Mt male bosses did the same. It's business, nothing more.

[Asker]

Apparently you didn't read the whole question, the part where the boss said "why does your husband need to know" and subsequently hung up after my wife suggested I need to be there. Or the part where he fired her because of it.. It seems as if you, like most on here read the question only and not the back story, typical, lazy.

[AviatorTom]

Perhaps a better question would have been: "What would you do if your wife was terminated for not having dinner lone with her male boss?"

And you are correct. Most people do not read the "details", just the question, especially when it's a large block of text that's not broken into easier-to-read paragraphs.

[AviatorTom]

You know, if she had dinner with him, he made a pass at her, and then terminated her, you'd have a better case. As it stands now, you're going to have a hard time proving anything illegal was done in terminating your wife. Assuming you're in the US, note that almost all states have "employment at-will" rules, meaning that an employer can leave for any reason, and an employee can fire a employee for just about any reason.

[Asker]

It's why we recorded the conversation. I've already got the labor board on my side and my lawyer says it's a slam dunk based on recorded conversations.

[AviatorTom]

That's good news. I trust you're in a state where one person recording a conversation is legal. Some states require all parties involved in a conversation to be aware it's being recorded, otherwise it becomes inadmissible as evidence.

[Asker]

One party state for sure

[Alwayreckles93]

First of all I am hoping you and your wife weren't selfish and actually allowed your wedding guest bring their kids to the wedding. Second no you are married and you have no business going on your own to lunch. That's asking for trouble.

[FarAway12]

That would be labeled as harassment at my workplace lol. But also, don't date your coworkers. But also, if it sounds like a date, then no, because I wouldn't want to lead him on.

[Asker]

I fully agree

[missindiana93]

My husband had dinner and drinks with his female co worker. But he at least told me about it. He said he wouldn't cross the line.

[Asker]

Yeah I'd never hide it from her, I'd honestly just not do it. I don't want it as some kind of ammo for my coworker to use against me.

[missindiana93]

I dont really trust his co worker but she said she's happily married which isn't always true.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly

[Unit1]

Woah. What a sticky situation. You definitely have a keeper as a wife. Don't lose her.

[CB-Raido-Time]

With evidence sue him for his attempt to commit adultery. Maybe the next time he will think with the right head.

[Texaskid1]

She should of said yes.

Just think of the potential rewards...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ad98qFf7PTE

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would and I have, he calls it "discussing my upcoming promotion" and it happens about once a week... my husband just thinks I've been getting promoted because I'm a hard worker. And true, realistically if I stopped I'd get fired... that's how the world works

[Asker]

Lamo, no it's not, it's literally called sexual harassment. The fact that you would do that to your boyfriend speaks volumes about you. It's pathetic.

[Opinion Owner]

I get paid far more than I'm qualified to make, and when he gets a job and starts bringing home some. jingle, then he can question what I do to make ends meet for us

[Asker]

Spoken like a prostitute. Worthless.

[TheCaller]

I accept. After dinner, I will take her to a hotel.

[Asker]

And you're the reason I hate cheaters, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Decline the invitation.

[CubaPirate]

Been there done that no issues

[Asker]

Apparently you didn't read the whole question, the part where the boss said "why does your husband need to know" and subsequently hung up after my wife suggested I need to be there. Or the part where he fired her because of it.. It seems as if you, like most on here read the question only and not the back story, typical, lazy.