Did you ever spend any time with your dad/mom naked when you were a teen?

[nightdrot]

In this I don't mean that you were nudists or hung out together, but to put it in context, I mentioned in another question that my dad and I (and sometimes my brothers) would go to the gym together. Afterward we would be in the locker rooms or showers. Also, sometimes at home - and my dad was a doctor so he tended - and therefore we tended - to take nudity somewhat casually. So we might be going to the shower or whatever.

Anyhow, the reaction of some folks - not all - to this was like we had been molested as kids. I was sort of surprised and was wondering if we were that all unusual. (Especially in the context of going to the gym locker room.)

Was this really that shocking? We're all men. He was my dad - and as he used to say, "I saw you before you saw yourself." What's the difference between your dad and all the other guys - friends, brothers - in the locker room.

Same question for the ladies and their moms, too.

[UptightLight]

I used to be called to my moms room regardless clothes on or off "it's out of this here body ya come." So I feel you. Dads don't bond with their sons where i'm from but i catch your drfit. Plus me and my brothers would literally have pissing contests 4 boys aiming into one bowl lol. People are just trash / scum so they think in poor taste. Can't even help them out of a paper bag.

[nightdrot]

Thanks for your reply.

Really, I am not even talking about bonding so much. Still, the reaction of some folks to something that was utterly innocent and totally non-sexual was wildly disproportionate. It just made me wonder how different we may have been.

Sounds though like your family was relatively casual about nudity overall. With my dad as a doctor and a mother who used to say that naked boys was the price of doing business, we were relaxed, too. I admit maybe more than average. Still, the reaction of some folks - like I said - was as if we had been molested. It was not like that at all.

Thanks again.

[UptightLight]

Its bonding when they care to be inclusive ie you ending up in a gym locker room together as in you ventured somewhere together. Whether you realise it or not.

We don't see the old man. He doesn't care to acknowledge us. He can be a chauffeur but that's the most you'll get. A ride. We're not going to talk, "oh i saw you before you saw yourself" we don't joke like that. There's no fun. So while you try to denounce my formality since i wasn't pressed about what word to use i know i'm not wrong. Point was simply there's nothing abusive about having a healthy relationship. People want to make shit up in their heads they're entitled to that much. Doesn't make it true. Or their reactions valuable whatsoever. Sounds like you like in a small backwards town. Your family considering dads are doctor sound completely right side up. He cares for his boys your bodies are his offspring mini him. No big deal. People are fucking degenerates. You guys keep leading the way.

[UptightLight]

Sounds like you live***

[nightdrot]

Regarding your initial comment, I see your point. Yes, I had a great relationship with my dad. I didn't see that as bonding, per se, but I see your point and I don't disagree with it.

On your second point, I guess you are right. It never would have hit me in a million years that seeing your dad - and him seeing you - naked in the locker room or while you were on your way to the shower at home was that big a deal... but YOWIE!! Some people sure read into it more than was there.

As to your last point, with apologies, I didn't understand this: "Sounds like you live***" Happy to answer if you could explain what you mean and if it needs a reply.

[UptightLight]

Its an edit... the ** is a sign of error.

I said
sounds like you like in a backwards town.

Your brain must have overlooked my spelling mistake. That's all you have a good brain.

[nightdrot]

Thanks. Actually, the comments I got were on this site.

At the time, when I was teenager, we went to the gym. Nobody at the gym said anything. No one ever did - as if they would have even noticed.

That is what surprised me - to get so many really harsh comments on this site. Really appreciated your comments.

Thanks again.

[UptightLight]

Ew on here. Well i see the mindsets on here. So yeah you would get those backwards comments. They lack experience and consideration. As people we have to inquire things. People refuse that truth believing they can form any opinion they want. They love assumptions. Its ridiculous.

[nightdrot]

Absolutely 100% agree with you. I really don't see why would people would come to this site if they only want to shout. I value honest disagreement and discussion, but getting on sites like this just to stomp your feet seems, at the very least, eccentric.

Bottom line, I could not agree with you more. You don't have to agree with everyone on this site, but calm deliberation would seem a better way to go.

[UptightLight]

I love calm deliberation. Right now i recently snapped on a girl cause i read her story and interpreted it differently. She then rewrote me the initial story like i didn't considerably look it over. I'm now being an asshole. Unfortunately. So I asked her to retell me the story cause she said her and a guy had something. Which to me is nothing then the rest.

[nightdrot]

Well, we are only human and sometimes we don't live up to our ideals. When we don't, owning up to our mistake and apologizing honestly and earnestly usually solves the problem.

[Gedaria]

No. But we did when daughters were young use to go to South of France. Take caravan to this site which was nudist. Great fun girls loved it. Found it by accident returned quite a few times...

[nightdrot]

Thanks for responding.

My girlfriend and I have been to a nudist resort a couple of times. We are not nudists ourselves but were invited by some friends who were. We enjoyed it. People were friendly and honestly the facilities were top of the line.

They invited us back this year and told us to bring our kids, two boys 7 and 6 and a girl 4. My girlfriend is a little squeamish about bringing them when they are that young. (She does not object to bringing them in principle, but thinks it might be better to wait till they are a little older.)

Mind if I ask how old your girls were? Any thoughts?

Thanks again for responding.

[Gedaria]

I understand her thinking. But my youngest first time we went were 5=6 now in their 20sthey go to a place in Italy some times other 2 join them...

[nightdrot]

Thanks VERY much. I'll pass it along to her. I am not quite as concerned - certainly the resort itself is safe - but I was probably going to defer to my girlfriend. She'll be interested in your experience.

Thanks again.

[GreenGold1992]

Some people are non-sexually comfortable being naked in the same room as the same sex, some are not.

[nightdrot]

That I understand. What surprised me was the vehemence of some of the people who responded when I mentioned being naked with my dad. Again, we were at the gym or at home with maybe me in the shower.

Some folks said nothing about it, but a few acted as if I had been molested as a child. I grant that with my dad as a doctor we tended to be a bit more relaxed about nudity than my girlfriend was in her family, for example, but it was never sexual or anything like that.

It was just surprising and I was interested in seeing how other people viewed it and how their families handled it.

Thanks for responding.

[GreenGold1992]

Hate to tell ya, but when people hear something like that, sex abuse will the first thing that comes to their minds, but understandable since it happens a lot everywhere. But why would you tell people this anyway?

[nightdrot]

It was offered as a detail as part of another question I posted - and also as part of an answer to someone else's question as I recall.

At any rate, how could anyone see sex abuse between a father and son at a public gym in a public locker room? Even if I throw in that sometimes my dad - and mom, honestly - saw me naked around the house, I had two brothers and a sister, it's not like I was all alone.

The reactions amounted to a massive jumping to conclusions by some people. My point in asking this question was more to get a sense how people handled nudity in their homes. Again, with my dad being a doctor, we may have been a bit more casual about nudity than the average family - but it was never ever sexual.

[GreenGold1992]

I believe everything you've said, but you still can't expect everyone you tell this to respond positively cuz not everyone has grown up that way. All I can say is the first thing that'll come to other peoples' minds is sex abuse, you just need to explain that that wasn't the case, even if they don't believe you cuz you know it's the truth.

[nightdrot]

Yes, I hear what you are saying - and the reaction I got certainly proves your point. Can't argue with the facts staring me in the face.

Still, that is a wild jumping to conclusions. There was no fact that presented in my question - it was a detail as part of a question on an entirely different topic - that would logically lead one to believe that I had been molested. (Oh, and by the way, I DID mention that my dad - and my brothers sometimes - and I were at a gym.)

It reminds me of that line - though I don't recall who said it, "Men know little, presume a great deal, and so jump to conclusions."

[nightdrot]

By the way, I should also add that some of the responses were more of the "Ewwwww, that's gross" variety. Which strikes me as juvenile if nothing else.

The whole thing was just strange. To each his own, but such reactions hit me as over the top.

[GreenGold1992]

You gotta try to see it from their perspective. If all they hear are words like you and your dad and gym and naked, they are gonna wildly jump to conclusions and presume the worst possible scenario, which again is understandable. Molestation happens a lot everywhere even under our noses, I don't like it, but it does. People are always gonna jump to conclusions, mostly because they think they're heard all they needed to hear, but there are others who are curious to hear more. If they were to hear more, they might find out their wrong, but not everyone is like that.

[nightdrot]

Again, yes, you have a point. However, if we are going to justify every leap of logic and emotional reaction - if we are going to indulge every overreaction - just because we are going to be empathetic, we are going to have intellectual chaos.

Two problems. The minor one is an etiquette question. Had I been on the other side, so to speak, I probably would not have said anything at all. However, if I had felt so compelled, I would have said something like, "I don't know. I would not be very comfortable with that myself." Reactions like "Ewwww" are childish, pure and simple.

The bigger problem is, however, intellectual. It is allowing one's emotions and visceral reactions to get in the way of logic and reason. We have far too much of that.

As I say, I take your point - and again my question here was designed to see how other families handled nudity - but that does not make some of the reactions I saw any more rational or defensible.

[GreenGold1992]

Well not everyone is a logical sensible intellectual, you just have to prepare yourself for every possible reaction, mature or childish.

[nightdrot]

Clearly, but we can prepare ourselves to the point - and I would argue that we have - where reason takes a backseat to feeling for feeling's sake. On a website - and on such a relatively trivial topic - it is not a matter of great moment.

However, in the long run, and broadened to a societal scale, that will not be - and is not - very good for the culture.

[GreenGold1992]

It's not very good for society, but that's just how it is.

[nightdrot]

Perhaps, but it deserves to be remarked upon. A silent acceptance is certainly not going to make things better.

[GreenGold1992]

Then you'll have to find a way to make it vocal so everyone hears about, like write an article and have it published somewhere or do a radio show or anything where you'll be heard.

[nightdrot]

Been there, done that.

[GreenGold1992]

Sorry, there's nothing more I can say. Just don't take everyone's opinions so personally.

[nightdrot]

Did not take it personally. This all came up because of the question I posted here - which I did out of genuine curiosity.

As to the rest, it just struck me as weird. I was more astonished than offended.

[max69tx]

Yeah in my teens when I had my mom examine my penis. Wasn't till later I stopped.

[GFEDATY]

I have been naked with my mom

[thetruex]

NOPE!!!

[nightdrot]

You actually took the time to write, "NOPE"? Well, thanks anyhow.

[thetruex]

Sorry

[nightdrot]

Well, it's okay, but I am not sure why you bothered.

Just out of curiosity - you are 17, which I have not been in a while. If you were to describe it, what is your attitude toward nudity. Are you more comfortable say, in the locker room, or is it the kind of thing where you would rather get in and out.

When I was your age, guys didn't - at least it seemed to me - seem to mind being naked. We would stand around in the locker room in our underwear or a towel or even naked and talk about stuff.

At the least I sense that nudity in your family is pretty much a "no go" thing. As I wrote, for us it was pretty casual, too. So what is the attitude there and to the best you might know, what is the attitude in your friend's families.

Again, I grew up in a doctor's family and so maybe that was just me and my brothers. However, it might be interesting to compare across the years.

No need to respond if that is too personal.

[thetruex]

I was the guy in p. e who changed in the stall and left ASAP

[nightdrot]

Okay, well thanks.