Best setting for a kiss?

[Anonymous]

I've been on 3 dates with a girl but they were in very public settings that didn't give me much of a chance to kiss her. Hopefully it's not too late. I'm thinking of our next date- what should we do and where should I take her. I thought about inviting her to my place, but I have a roommate and I'm kind of embarrassed about where I live.

A reason I am a little hesitant is because I met her through an online dating site. Our profiles say we are just "looking for friends". Although we seem to be hitting it off, and we've went out together 3 times, just us. So I think she likes me. We only see each other once a week because of hectic school schedules (it's finals time). If she does like me I'm sure she is probably waiting for me to make a move. If she doesn't she probably just likes my company.

[bobair]

Three dates is the optimal length of time to wait. If you wait for 5 dates then you really ARE just friends and she'll be disappointed. Trust me... she won't kiss you, you're going to HAVE to kiss her.

And unless you WANT to be just friends you HAVE to escalate.

The common mistake most guys make is that they don't escalate.

It's awkward for her if you move from just talking to kissing. That's a big leap.

If you want it to be more comfortable then you need to help her get used to you touching her well in advance of you kissing her.

So start small, and escalate to kissing.

Take her hand to help her step up that big curb, or to step out of your car. Then release her hand slowly and let your fingers glide against each other. Why? Because it's like flirting without using words. I do this even when I first shake a girls hand... it's meant to be very subtle and quick... almost like she's not sure you did it.

Then try guiding her through a crowd by inviting her to hold your arm.. this puts you in a dominate position, and it helps show her that you can lead and keep her safe... all unconsciously of course. Plus she get's to touch you.

When you guys laugh does she squeeze your arm, or when you tease her does she punch your arm? These are all aspects of physical touch that you need to escalate.

Try giving her a fun and fake palm reading. This gives you access to touching her hands softly and with care. This can be a fun and subtle way to increase her body's familiarity with your touch.

During dinner, after she's made you laugh, tell her you HAVE to tell her a secret... but you have to whisper it in her ear. She might think you're being strange, but be playful and say, "I'm sorry, some things have to be whispered..." then lean in and subtly make your cheeks touch, slowly, and brush her hair out of her ear so that you can say, "I think you're so cute when you laugh! Shhhh, don't tell anyone please..."

This move almost simulates a kiss because you both lean in slowly and your faces come into contact. Plus the hot breath you whisper into her ear might give her neck goosebumps, which also helps escalate the tension and her desire to be kissed.

Realize that she's been asking her friends when to expect you to kiss her, so she's wondering what's taking you so long.

And, when all else fails, you can try this... make fun bets with her all evening. And make your prize her kissing you. Playing mini golf. Make sure she knows the rules.. every time you get a hole in one she HAS to give you a quick, cute, kiss.

Or, bet that the waiter is going to forget to put the salad dressing on the side. Or bet on anything that doesn't really matter, with the prize being she's going to give you a wet lickery kiss.

Find any reason... make it obvious or make it subtle, but it's time to kiss her or lose her!

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[Asker]

Well damn, now I'm nervous I'm going to lose her. But thank you for your advice. Kiss at the end of the date?

[bobair]

Kiss middle of the date. Have you made it common practice to hug hello and good bye? That's also a good thing to implement, asap!

Kissing at the end of the date is fine, but it'll add more pressure on you if you wait.

And trust me, there's no pressure.

No girl goes on 4 dates without expecting to be kissed, so she won't be surprised, and she won't be upset.

[Asker]

Okay, so just to update you on the 4th date we both had a lot of fun. We talked, laughed and smiled non-stop during the date. At the end of the date after I had shown her some salsa steps I kissed her. The only problem is I'm not sure if she wanted it? I kissed her and it was a closed mouth kiss. I even went in a second time, still closed. Is this a bad sign or just a first kiss thing that is nothing to worry about? She didn't text me or anything after we parted, so I don't know to be honest.

[Asker]

Oh by the way, your advice with the fingers gliding thing I think totally worked. By teaching her some dance moves we broke the touch barrier and I did the gliding fingers thing and it was great.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with kissing in a public place. My first kiss with my favorite guy was in the central subway station in Stockholm! as public as it can get!

Don't invite her to your place just for a kiss. She'll probably think you want something more.

It's not a big deal to kiss really. This time when you were saying goodbye hug her and then give her a kiss. If you think she'll be too surprised say something like want a kiss?

When my guy hugged me and I didn't kiss he asked are you a little shy? Then I kissed him! It was so sweet!

P.S. No tongue in the first kiss!

[deej13]

park. deffinetly park.