How badly do you want to connect or be close with people?

[Still-alive]

This is something im just discovering about myself is that I desire connecting with other people soo badly that i will go to great and often unhealthy lengths to secure it. And furthermore if i feel like that connection is denied to me or threatened to be taken away i take it out on them. I get anxious and upset. Unfortunately this has driven people away from me. Alienating myself from others. Especially if i felt one really strongly from the beginning and i feel it might be taken away. Its like giving me a taste of the delicious desert without letting me eat the thing later smh.

ill have to change this about myself now. Does anyone else relate to me?

I can relate to this very well. I greatly desire that closeness too often to the detriment of my own values

I can relate somewhat. I know when to just leave and call it quits

I can't relate to this. I don’t feel the desire fir closeness ir a connection THAT badly

I don’t even understand the desire for a connection at all actually.

Updates

+1 y

this is such a game changer finally learning this about myself. starting to realize this is why i do some of the things i do. its efforts to secure a good connection with other people.

[razelove]

I think we all compromise to greater or lesser extents, at least those of us who have companionship. Many women in particular who don't learn to compromise find themselves unable to have a family when their clock runs out later. Men and women will feel a push/pull in relationships, and desire companionship.

I don't think us men have that timer counting down though, like, yeah, we're going to die one day, and there are risks while aging like prostate cancer and what not that could cause fertility problems, but menopause is a constant that will happen and cause sterility, which I could see causing massive pressure for aging women who don't have children and feel even curiosity about having a family.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Man why do brains even have to do shit like that? Can't they just think "I'm scared everyone will leave me alone, so I want to make sure that doesn't happen" and let u think how to act based on that, instead of jumping straight to call for action in every situation with no real explanation why it feels its so necessary make those acts? Cause I would be much more successful if it let me decide what to do based on the motive, so that whole anxious attachment shit seems unhelpful..

[xJayleenx]

I think I just want to be close to my boyfriend, I want to find a true best friend that I’m comfortable with and to be close to her too, and of course I want to be close to my future family if I ever have one.

[xJayleenx]

But other than that I’ve just kind of accepted being a loner because I’m so shy.

[xJayleenx]

Thank you so much for mho

[DizzyDesii]

I often enjoy getting closer to people verbally, just not always physically

[Still-alive]

But at the cost of your own values? Like say they are obviously a bad person but you still hang with them anyways because you still desire that closeness? Thats what i mean here.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh no not at all. I like healthy environments

[menina]

I can relate to it somewhat, but I learned to call the quits. I used to seek for validation so desperately that I ended up hanging out with the wrong people. I learned my lesson, so now I'm more careful.

[itsalyssaagain]

Interesting…. I have a deep desire to connect to people and when I do I feel fulfilled. However it’s only with certain people and not everyone. A lot of people piss me off to be honest with you lol.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I can relate to this very well. I greatly desire that closeness, too often to the detriment of my own values

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I've been close to only a few people and that number has shrunk. I used to care about that. I don't anymore. I don't even want a wife and children now.

[Sparkie460]

I like connecting with people because it helps my business