I'd say I had a lambda, classic upbringing. But sometimes to be honest I found my parents too hard on me đ€Ł for example until I was 14 I wasn't allowed to have a phone, I was probably the only girl in my school not to have a phone, I was literally like a prehistoric woman.
Then they educated me like most people. Every time I spoke to someone, I had to use polite phrases like "Hello", "Thank you", "Please", in fact, even when I asked my parents for a drink, I had to say "Please" and "Thank you", haha. And if I forgot these polite phrases, I'd get my ears pricked lol.
And they also taught me to recognize when I was wrong and to accept opinions that differed from my own.
Well, I'm not sure I'm always perfect in everything they taught me, but in any case, I do my best lol.
And most of the people I've talked to here are very well educated, and I feel lucky to be able to discuss with quality people on this site.
What kind of upbringing did your parents give you?
My grandma plotted to split my mom up with any and everyone she was ever with. My parents split when I was 3 because my grandma planted some stuff to make it look like he cheated. He never did anything bad to me but I just never cared to be around him. He constantly tries to visit but I always dodge him.
My mom was a pretty good mom during my youth. She raised me with Christian beliefs and she was my preschool teacher. I didnât like that she dressed me tomboyishly in oversized clothes but I like that she kept me ânaturalâ and never encouraged makeup and stuff. Yet, I had to wear that BS when she enrolled me in ballet. She did a side job babysitting some of her students after school so my classmates were always at my house. It was mostly boys and I quickly became boy crazy and still am til this day.
Ironically, she had a bad habit of putting guys before her kids so eventually I started helping my grandma in plotting to rid them. My mom never knew I partook in that so she considered me a good kid for the most part. I mean, I was (outside of the shit I did to get her attention). I was a nerd and kept up good grades. I didnât get a phone til I was 12 (couldnât use social media til I graduated HS). I didnât mind saying please/thank you (but even Barney couldnât get me to say maâam/sir). I probably only got a spanking twice a year and that was usually for dumb reasons like teasing my sister or spreading my moms sex life to friends who wanted to compare the things we disliked about our parents.
My teen years were pretty horrible. Since I was 5, I had to hear my mom and whoever she was dating having sex every night and Iâd cry about that traumatic moaning sound and then sheâd yell at me, curse me out, laugh in my face, remind me she has âneedsâ, and then tell me to take my ass to sleep. It really fcked up my mindset. At 15, I was still a nerdy good two shoes but I started hanging with my boyfriend and his group of wildchilds. He eventually pressured my naive ass into sex because my mom felt that the sex talk wasnât necessary until we were at least 21+.
After a while, i got used to him forcing me to fck him in public places, so I started to hope my mom would catch me and have to witness the shit I did. Family and friends would literally tell her what I was doing in the streets but she always denied the info. Maybe she was in denial cause she was still pretty convinced that I was a good innocent kid until at least 22. Then again, she still thinks she was the best mom so maybe she's just delusional. I mean, she was great if a guy wasnât in the pic.
Once I graduated HS, I stopped plotting with my grandma and was ready to just let my mom be happy. But then she became clingy like her mom and tried to ruin a bunch of my relationships. Maybe it was karma, butIt hurt her that I always prioritized my boyfriends over her.Guess I learned from the best. But iâd never put a dude over my future kid.
And once I started making money, all the crap she taught me about âbeing independentâ went out the window because she became one of those parents who felt you âoweâ them financially for all theyâve done raising you. I love my mom but sheâs always been on some bullshit
Long story short, meet my mom...
Yea the mom on Rapunzel sums my mother up really good.. And she loves to randomly sing this song when she's around
dad: strict with school even in elementary school (he'd basically homeschool me on the weekends so i'd be better than the other kids, would buy me only big brain stuff to read cos regular kids books were dumb and a waste of time for the most part to him, would get mad when i didn't get really good grades or when i made the smallest spelling mistake and stuff. was old school, made me go to church, stand up for old people on the train, have proper eating etiquette, politeness and manners in public, in a way people dont really do nowadays unless they're upper class or really conservative. really didn't like that about him. on the other hand though he'd spoil me and if i wanted anything if i insisted enough he'd get it for me. really liked that about him. he also let me watch violent war movies and stuff that my mom didn't approve off, and buy me lots of sweets, also liked him for that. though i'd say he was more toxic than anything. unless i acted like an overrachiever even as a kid kid he'd tell me how i suck and i'm not good enough at everything, and always complain about everything i do to push me to act the way he wanted me to
mom: inflexible, could beg for a toy all i wanted i'd only get stuff on Christmas or my bday or from the allowance i'd get from her. she didn't spoil me at all cos she thought that would make me a bad kid. she had a certain idea of parenting and there was no budging on anything. like she would always make me go to summer camps every single breaks and i'd always have after school activities cos she thought that would help me in life, would never ever get me any junk food, sweets or even just normal stuff like pasta except as an exception treat cos stuff like that isn't bad for brain developement and health in the long run to her, so i only ate veggies and whole grain organic stuff for my entire childhood. for the other stuff she was very laid back and permissable and allowed me to do stuff most kids (and definitely not my dad who was and is conservative would ever allow me to do). like she let me unsupervized with no parental controls online at like 8, bought me adult makeup, the clothes i wanted from 2nd grade on, bikinis, let me do whatever summer camps i wanted or activites i wanted, let me go outside alone to hang out in the neighborhood at like 10 or even take the bus home younger than that, let me have 'dumb' kid interests unlike my dad, didn't care about my grades and would argue with my dad about it, would take me to amusement parks etc, was supertive of everything i liked or wanted to do with no judgement. would always compliment me and uplift me, never would say anything negative about me ever
Well I am off a farm so I'll say I had a farmboy upbringing.
It was more action oriented than I think kids in the city got. There were tasks that were yours. Feeding the chickens for example and and setting up a vege garden. These tasks were fun though. The chickens got really excited at feeding time. And the vege garden was magic. I'd plant the seeds and every day after school I'd water and check progress. It was when a buzz when the seeds germinated, it was a buzz seeing how much they had grown, it was a buzz when they flowered and a buzz when the fruit or seed pods formed.
What got you status amognst other kids of your own age was how responsible a task your father gave you. Much of it was caring for the animals so caring rubbed off as well as responsibility. And there was a sense of seasons. In the supermarkets there are no seasons; tomatoes are available everyday of the year which is great and all but you don't have the simple joy of tomatoes coming into season. Or new potatoes. Or brussel sprouts etc etc. In my district there was a harvest festival and produce was shared.
My parents have a simple life. When I moved to the city mine became a lot more complex and far more consumptive. There is less simple pleasure when you consume a lot. I have just had two large store made coffees this morning when I could have made coffee at home. I am reverting to a simpler life style but just haven't got there yet with flat white coffee yet.
You were "literally" a prehistoric woman? Really? For not having a phone?
I'm Gen-X. We didn't have phones except for the one tied to the wall in your house.
I'd say by comparison my upbringing was feral. In general Gen-X were brought up drinking from the garden hose because we weren't allowed in the house. I'd go for a short bike ride and cover 30 miles. A short walk covered 10 and a wander was even farther. As long as I was home by dusk it was fine.
Now I'm in my fifties, my son is almost 5 and he can have a phone once he's able to buy it himself. Like I had to.
Be careful describing yourself as prehistoric. Us truly prehistoric guys might find it offensive 😉
I don't know how to describe it that well without it being an essay, lmao.
The best way to summarize it is that I pretty much experienced most types of childhoods. It was neglectful, harmful, strict, fear inducing, yet it was also the opposite of those things. Just know at the end of the day that I had good parents, but just life got in the way and they made mistakes like any parent.
They did right by me for the most part and I am very happy they're my parents. My childhood was both amazing and awful, so it's neutral, lol.
My aunt raised me from the age of 8-9 up to 15 because my father had remarried and my mother wasn't interested, then I lived with my mother up to the age of 20.
My aunt schooled in a strict and Catholic way, making it so that while I inherited her teachings of strictness and moral upstanding, it made me leave the Church and eventually oppose it in my political career.
It was a bit of everything. Sometimes, they were too strict, and at other times, they just didnât care. My grandparents and brother practically raised me, lol. They worked a lot, but we spent time on the weekends. They also fought whenever they were together. The fights were super intense when I was like 4-10 years old. It did a number on me, but overall, they were okay. They were humans, just like me, so they made mistakes along the way. You live and learn. Theyâre good people though. I love them a lot.
to sum it up: dysfuctional, neglectful, poor, and abusive
dad is an addict, mom is a narcissist, and step-dad is an over-sized man child with anger issues. i understand why my parents are the way they are and i've come to just accept they'll never fill that void in my life. it is what it is 🤷ââïž
BUT my grandma is a saint and in the past 3-4 years she has raised me better than they ever did. yeah, i was almost an adult already but she genuinely saved me. i wouldn't be here without her and all i feel is warmth when i think of her
I was pretty spoiled to be honest, at least by my mom. My dad was a little cheap. I was the only person in my whole school to still have a flip phone and no unlimited texting😂
My mom tried to teach me responsibility and manners, my dad was more like, "whatever". Though at the same time my mom was overly protective and I always had to get her feedback and permission for EVERYTHING, which carried over into my older years and really messed up my ability to decide things and make things happened for myself.
I think they educated you well , its extremely progressive that they did not allow yu a phone , thats very good , very positive.. either way would have taught you well.
The upbringing I had? Well , it allowed me to be extremely independent.
My upbringing was fun and easy. My father was an angry man so I stayed away. My mom, loving and hard working. I grew up carefree and kinda make a lot of my own rules. Till I started my careerâŠI learned a lot more about the society and still keep my freedom to learn, travel and hold a career and a family together. I teach my own children to look for opportunities and do well with my guidance while they are still with me.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
10 mo
My mom is a diagnosed narcissist. She is very similar to gypsy rose mom I would say. Almost as extreme as her. She used to drug me in secret and let me sleep on benches outside etc.
My dad is very distant. He doesn't like drama but he enjoys watching it happen to people.
I can have a relastionship with my parents as long as I have power over them. Now when I have my own place they treat me good. But if move back the horror starts
My dad before he died was the one who taught me manners and things like that. My mother was close with my sister she never really liked the fact I was born a boy and had little to do with me. My dad kinda sheltered me from abuse up until he died. After that all hell broke lose for me.
My parents were strict but back then I think most parents were. I had to be respectful of elders and if I gotvin trouble at school I would get it twice as bad from my parents.
My grandma was working during that time and mom was married to my step-dad so I mostly raised myself as both of them didn't have time to raise me but both of them always provided what I needed.
My mom helped me in a way that she would criticize me a lot which helped me develop thick skin and be open to criticism and my grandma helped me teaching me to learn how to adopt and having a strong work ethic.
Bizarre, I would call it. Sent cross country from Ohio to Arizona at age 5 to live with mother, because I got involved in a sexual exploration with a neighbor kid. Lived with mom and sibling until 13
My parents were awesome. The problem is that their love for each other was so strong and genuine that it has, I think, hindered my search for a life partner because I end up comparing the relationships I have to what my parents had.
Sounds like your parents really cared about you.. to teacher you have to be a respectful adult. Need a lot more of them in the world teaching this generation.
Nothing great. Most of the good I have comes from my grandma. My mom didn't like me, and my dad wasn't exactly a family man. They weren't bad people but they certainly didn't raise me
