Do you hate your child/ren?

[Anonymous]

I have a 9 year old I just can't stand most days. I feel like I'm starting to hate her. She used to be so sweet and loving. I've tried my best to teach her to regulate her emotions as she has ADHD. The methods used to work and they don't anymore. Everyday she gives me attitude, will try to hit me if she can't get her way, throws things at me or destroys anything I've brought her when she is mad in hopes it'll upset me. She won't do any activities with me anymore and just acts like she hates me. The only time she acknowledges me is if she wants something. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel stuck. I've tried so many different ways to bond better and try the things she likes but nothing works. Can anyone relate and help me out?

[Anonymous]

Saying as someone who doesn't have kids yet so maybe take it with a grain of salt. I think people use ADHD way too much as an "excuse" for the behavior issues of kids. Even some professionals. Kids can easily become little shits even without any disorder. You need to find out what's wrong, because kids shitty attitude come from something going wrong. It could be with her or it could be with you. You're going to need to ajust your parenting to correct the behavior. Get quality professional help. Eventually therapy. If someone tells you something like oh it's just ADHD nothing to do find someone else. Even "very" autistic kids can be really sweet with proper parenting. 9 year old is too old to be acting the way she does, it looks a lot like the behavior of limit testing toddlers, which is why I think there's something deeper than just ADHD. Could also be that she is suffering inside because of something happening in the family life or in her own social circle at school or something. Really you should stay calm, don't submit to her during tantrums and get some help

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's being abused by someone and she's afraid to talk with you about it. It happened to me when I was 9 and I was told no one would believe me and my family would hate me so I kept it too myself for 6 years before I finally told my parents what happened. She may feel that she doesn't have any support from you. Hating her will only make things worse. If she were my little sister I'd give her a hug make her feel safe. I'm not saying that's what's happening but clearly something is bothering her more than ADHD!! Try talking with her.

[Staximus]

You have to be smarter than the child. If you are not, you have no business having children. Ask People who are experts in the matter of dealing with children who have the same problem. Take a class on how to deal with these kind if problems in children, talk to a family therapist, and take your child to a psychologist but do not let them give her adhd medication. That's basically meth and horrible for a child's developing mind and very addictive, and has terrible withdrawals and side effects when you get off it. If you can't afford a therapist, they have YouTube videos and articles about stuff like that. Get off your ass and do some research. Don't be weak and give up. That's not an option. When's the last time you spent some quality time with your child? It sounds like she is lashing out for attention. When's the last time you told her you love her?

[slatyb]

Sounds like you need professional help. She's very after. Do you have any idea why?

[Anonymous]

i don't see how you could HATE your own child... i'm more concerned about you than your ADHD daughter. she will grow out of hitting, etc. but the way her mom is acting towards her (you said you can't stand her, i can only imagine she can sense that), she'll have to deal with those problems as she gets older. you have to start being more understanding, no matter how bad things get... or else you'll just give her more mental problems.

like, i get it, she's acting like she hates you etc... but honestly, she just needs to be more understood. just leave her be... she needs to find better coping mechanisms because she is obviously upset. she needs cognitive behavioral therapy, not sure if you've heard of it.

[ShesRad80]

sounds like she needs a behavioral therapist, there might be stuff going on she doesn't want to or feels she cannot talk about with you.

[DarkLegacy]

Does not surprise me that a under 40 woman cannot cope with her own child.

[jahaims]

You're just a terrible parent.