Is my sister behavior tacky?

[Anonymous]

My sister is married to a family judge and they dont have children. My sister and her husband always spend the holidays in another country by themselves, They never spend the holidays with the family in town. That means they never spend Christmas or New Years Even with my mom, my brother, myself, cousins, aunts, etc. always out. My sister and her husband, they always like to have update things (mobile, fridges, computers) and they enjoy also to eat out and assist to concerts, they have a nice house (they are not rich let me clarify but their house is nice) Two years ago they remodeled their kitchen.

Anyway this year is no exception and again they are out for the holidays. My sister texted me and ask me what and my brother want for Christmas as she is organizing her budget but then the next phrase next to that question is what I find super tacky as i believe that is not a question to ask. Next to the question "What would I want for Christmas she added, let it be not veyr expensive". Really? I mean I would never ask her anything expensive becaue I know she will decline it immediately and Im not that type of person im a frugal anyway, but that is a question you dont ask to another person "What do you want for a gift but dont let it be expensive". She can give me what she wants and that is ok by me. I mean hello!! Maybe she asked because she does not like to spend a lot fo money on her family or anyone becauase she has other expenses but who does not anyway, or maybe because since she is going away she needs enough money for her 2 week trip and she rather spend it on the trip. But even if she went to a trip still you dotn ask that to the other person, maybe she felt that cause im her sister she felt comfty asking me that. Sitll for me that question is tacky like she does not want to spend anything on me beause if it is not cheap she wotn buy it. <im not even telling her what to give me anything wil be fine by me cheap or not cheap.

[ohsheeT]

What you need to do is everything you said above going out the window forget about it and you have to look at your sister and think she lives in a one-bedroom apartment with her husband and they struggle no matter what with everything



And when she had you your gift you have to hug her and thank her because she didn't have to do that because she doesn't have that type of money to do it and whatever it is that she gives you it's going to be important just for that reason because she doesn't have money

That's what giving is all about

If she walks in and hands you a gift and you're thinking in your head oh they just went on vacation he's a judge yada yada has a nice house remodeled the kitchen this is going to be such a good gift and you open it up and it's nothing that you wanted ever and you're going to be looking at her like WTF is this you're going to be ungrateful because you think something different.

It doesn't matter what she gets you the thing that matters is you are together on Christmas you're both happy and things are great between you

All the years growing up into adulthood all this Christmases and the best gift I ever got was a brown paper bag with probably about 15 rocks in it it was from my son
He was happy he was excited I was happy I was excited and I pulled that one rock at a time and looked at it we talked about it and then I pulled out the heaviest Rock and that was a gold nugget and I said where did you get this rock LOL let's go right now..

But I gave the rock to my mother-in-law so she could hold on to it and she doesn't remember what she did with it but anyway it was the moment the counted I could care less what I got it was that moment that I will never forget

About 8 years ago my aunt died about 7 and 1/2 8 months ago my mother died they did everything together they were the best of friends they would laugh they would cry they would do everything go shopping do things go places and I would guarantee that no matter what gift they gave each other it was appreciated

[Asker]

I found tacky she has to tell me that my gift should not be expensive as she has to organize her Christmas budget. I never expect to receive an expensive gift anywaqy. Christmas is not about giving expensive gifts and she won't spend Christ mas with the family I said she is going to a overseas trip with her husband.

[ohsheeT]

Well you sound like you have a good heart I wouldn't worry about anything I would just celebrate Christmas like you do

[slatyb]

It's tacky to ask what you want but not too expensive. I find it a bit odd that you are still exchanging gifts of much value. My brother, sister, and I spend maybe $50 for gifts to each other.

[Asker]

Christmas is not about giving expensive gifts. My sister was the one who asked me to give her ideas what I would want and that what I want let it not to be expensive so she can organize her Christmas budget