Why don’t some people want to do anything for their birthday?

[Anonymous]

I asked my friend what is she going to do for her birthday and she said she doesn’t know and she hasn’t had a chance to plan anything because she’s been busy with school and work. I mean she could have make time for to plan a little. Her birthday is in three days and she hasn’t planned anything. She said turning 37 isn’t a big deal. She said she has plans next weekend and Thanksgiving is the week after. She said we can try doing something after Thanksgiving. I was like, “Why don’t you just do something next weekends or if she’s busy Saturday or Sunday because celebrating her birthday after Thanksgiving is just stupid. Her birthday is on the 19th and we expect to celebrate her birthday on the 28th or 29th?

She said she’s studying for a test this weekend for tomorrow. I understand but still. We need to celebrate. If we end up not celebrating, that’s her fault. Maybe we can celebrate after she gets off work. She said she has class afterwards.

[HollyK21]

Why must something be done? Not everyone wants to celebrate and that’s totally fine. She’s got other priorities but you’re acting like it’s some sad, depressing thing. You shouldn’t do that, we are grown adults.

[Asker]

I know. Yeah you’re right. She does have other priorities and she did make plans. If she wants to celebrate after Thanksgiving, that’s fine

[HollyK21]

If I were you I wouldn’t mention it and let her bring it up. In all honesty these plans you’re trying to create sound more like they’re to appease you rather than something she really wants to do. I don’t say that to make you feel bad — you are well intended and that’s very kind of you. But she seems busy at every turn but feels bad to flat out tell you no, since you’re trying so hard to make plans. You already put a few offers out there for her to consider, so let her bring it up. Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t.

[Nikki1989]

I have never once celebrated my birthday. The very concept is bonkers. Christmas, New Year's Eve, and Halloween are even more ridiculous.

[jkreuger95]

bad past experiences, used to not celebrating, don't like the attention. There's multitudes of reasons people have. You should ask her and accept her response

[Asker]

She never had bad experiences. I never understood why she didn’t say anything or didn’t plan anything

[jkreuger95]

You can plan something small. It shows you're thinking about her without it being overwhelming

[jahaims]

Because it's weird for an adult to care it is their birthday.

[strateguy632]

Because mkst people consider birthdays just for kids.

[beenherebefore]

Is just their preference. Some people are not into celebrations or prefer something more intimate.

[Anonymous]

She’s f-ing busy! God you’d be an annoying friend.

[Asker]

I understand but she could have planned earlier. I know she has plans with her friend next weekend but I asked her if she’s busy Sunday and she’ll see. Celebrating her birthday after Thanksgiving is weird

[LunarEclipse433]

I don't like having a fuss made over me