How to start a conversation with a girl in class?

[larryburns]

So there's this girl in my college class who seems attractive, so I don't want to pass up this opportunity to eventually ask her out. The problem is, I get extremely shy when it comes to trying to start conversations with strangers. Also, in classes in general at my school, people almost NEVER talk before, during or after class unless they're sitting next to their friends. So, I can't think of anything to say other than asking her about the HW, lecture notes, or other class-related stuff. But I have to eventually talk about outside school-related stuff, to see if we have rapport and would want to date each other or not

what do I say to her? Also, since the class is large (about 100 students), should I keep trying to sit next to her every lecture, or will that seem creepy? I've kept my eye on her for about 3 lectures now, and NO one has spoken to her yet

[ryanontario]

as someone in college its weird no one has tried to talk to her yet as the girls in my classes , guys are all over them I find and its impossible to find them alone but my classes aren;t girl dominated so maybe that's why .

as to what I'd do with this girl , I'd try and talk to her in class first . your just going to have to take the risk and sit beside her in class , yeah rate beside her and if she arrives late usually , your going to have to arrive later so you can sit rate beside her and seem like you had no where else to sit . then maybe talk to her a bit and try to get a feel for her and if she even likes you or has a boyfriend allready . and if it goes good that day sit beside her again and keep talking to her but if it doesn't just don't worry about it and sit somewhere else .

but myself this has worked a lot and I've meet a lot of really hot girls in my collges classes over the years , I haven't dated them all but meet a lot of great girls thru college classes .

[larryburns]

Ok I will finally get my chance tomorrow. as for your plan of sitting first, and then hoping she sits next to me... that won't work, since there's so many seats in the class. I have no choice but to arrive after she does and try to sit next to her. I know I have to talk to her, the problem is how do I come up with something to say at first, since we don't know each other

[everlite]

Personally, I'd ask her if I could borrow something of physical importance, but no monetary worth (notes, homework). If the agrees to give it to you it would be a good opportunity to ask if there was any specific time she needed it and where you could drop it off later that day or evening. If she tells you just to give it to her the next day, at least you started a conversation. Either way you can introduce yourself from there and maybe ask about what she's studying to become and if it was always her dream. Ask her if this was her dream job since a little kid... Blah, blah, blah. Personally I would want to move away so I wouldn't bother her during the lecture. She might appreciate it later. And you won't come off as desperate or as a creeper.

[larryburns]

She didn't seem very friendly. I asked her if I could see her midterm after we got our midterms back (she got the prob right, and I didn't, so I wanted to compare how she got the right answer), and didn't seem too friendly or smile at all while explaining to me how she got the problem right

[Bombshell13]

That is def a problem I see at my college too but listen to OutOfMyElement, just go say hey and if she responds then you're in. If she gives you a "why the f*** is the creepo talking to me" look then better look next time. Most of my classes are like 450 people lectures and I *wish* a guy would come up and talk to me.

If she say's hey back then ask if the seat next to her is taken. Sit down, introduce yourself, ask how she likes the class or her major and on and on. . .

[larryburns]

Introduce myself immediately? but doesn't that seem strange? in class, no one's ever just introduced themselves to me nor have I witnessed other people introducing themselves just after saying Hi. I think they usually talk about outside class stuff first? but if both answerers here agree, I guess I'll just do it, even if it seems really awkward

[larryburns]

I have noticed she has wears a few wristbands that look strange. should I just say something like 'where'd you get those wristbands?' (assuming that doesn't sound creepy?) first, or say 'hi' first?

[Bombshell13]

Hi first. Maybe not "where'd you get those" so much as "those are cool". No one's really going to into themselves to a guy but it's the most straightforward way. It'll help you skip away from class into the getting-to-know-you part.

[dvogue]

I say, just go for it!

Girls love confident guys. Try to get a seat next to her and start up a conversation about anything! After class you could talk to her about the teacher, the material, the weather... anything!

Go for it before another guys takes that opportunity to talk to her... you only get once chance.

Once you've established communication with her, it'll make it all easy for you.

[OutOfMyElement43]

Don't think, just walk up to her with a friendly smile ( very important ) and say one simple word -"Hi." If she says any variation of "hi" (hello, how ya doing, what's up, etc...) back, you're all set. If she doesn't acknowledge you, forget about it. Don't make it complicated! It's the easiest thing in the world.

[larryburns]

Ok, so after I sit next to her and say Hi, then what?

[OutOfMyElement43]

Don't think about it. Ask her name, introduce yourself, but don't start thinking ahead. Stay in the moment. Believe me, you're genetically programmed to do this stuff. Don't think about anything you did, don't think what you're going to do. Stay in the moment. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her and smile. You're Indiana Jones. What does Indiana Jones do? He presses on! Some danger is always lurking but Indiana presses on.

[larryburns]

Introduce myself immediately? but doesn't that seem strange? in class, no one's ever just introduced themselves to me nor have I witnessed other people introducing themselves just after saying Hi. I think they usually talk about outside class stuff first? but if both answerers here agree, I guess I'll just do it, even if it seems really awkward

[larryburns]

I have noticed she wears a few wristbands that look strange. should I just say something like 'where'd you get those wristbands?' (assuming that doesn't sound creepy?) first, or say 'hi' first?

[OutOfMyElement43]

What state is you're school in? First, say hi, nothing else until you get a response. It's been a while since I was in school; as far as I know, people like to know with whom they're talking. It's better not to say your last name; she's more likely to remeber one word than two. Don't think ahead. Think about how good it felt getting past "hi." Don't think about question you're going to ask. Like I said; stay in the moment. Meeting a girl is fun; don't make it difficult.

[OutOfMyElement43]

Let physiology not psychology to drive the conversation. If you feel good about getting past "hi," you're brain is going start releasing dopamine. Dopamine is the "feel good" chemical, dopamine makes you feel at ease. That's why you don't think ahead; don't think about questions to ask. If you make it fun, you're brain will do all the work. Look in her the eyes; you'll know what to say. You'll come across cool and cofindent. I'm telling you; we're all genetically programmed to date.

[larryburns]

I live in CA, if that matters. Thanks for your input, and I'll try to put it into practice next I see her on Thurs, assuming I can actually be able to sit next to her, unlike today

[OutOfMyElement43]

I asked about the state because attitudes vary by region. I attended school in California; girls were friendly then I'm sure they are now. If you're not confortable approaching women, you're going to have a "fight or flight reaction;" you're brain is thinking danger.

[OutOfMyElement43]

There is no danger. You want to get the "high" out or "hi." You're not in danger anymore; you've gotten past "hi." You should feel a sense of accomplishment, hence the dopamine response, the feel good response. You feel good about you; she feels good about you. Think easy. If you get shot down, don't feel bad. I'm an attractive guy I get shot down. Brad Pitt has been shot down; I'm sure of it. Every guy gets shot down. It's not that bad; you'll start to welcome the shots.

[larryburns]

Ok I'll finally have my chance tomorrow as I had to miss class last week due to a emergency situation. Because of that, I was thinking that I could ask her for the class notes I missed that day, after I say 'hi' to her. should I do that? or will it seem creepy, so I should ask someone else for the notes?

[redguy10]

Definitely. it might give you an excuse to see her outside of class.

[Matthew988]

OutOfMyElement43, you are very good at this, so I'll ask you. If a girl is sitting in quite empty class (because mates haven't come yet) alone and I'm sitting somewhere else. What do you think if I go to her and what should I ask her/start conversation? We said hi to each other few times and we talked 3 times. We are in college.. Thanks :)

[esahc88]

Go for it, there is nothing to lose. A thing that I tend to do (unless they are shy) is ask them a question and let them talk. Since guys get nervous and woman like to know talk if you start a conversation then you can get to know her better and maybe date her. Good luck.