Why is she being nice one day and ignoring me the next?

[Anonymous]

There this girl at work we were getting on great she quite shy and so am I but there were times I flirted with her a bit and joked and she smile and joke back with me etc, however recently she been going very hot and cold, one day she kinda chat to me and stuff but not much then the next day she will act as though I am not there, and being shy myself I don't have courage to try talk to her on days she acts like this, what is going on? did she like me? she hate me now? trouble I feel is its work so feel not a gd idea in general to even pusue this. need some advice

Updates

+1 y

she been doing it as a pattern so I don't think I've upset her

[Anonymous]

My situation is identical and I tend to be this way myself, but I'm not sure why. I do like him though. She may have been in a bad relationship (like me)that messed with her confidence, so she's scared of being hurt, rejected, or otherwise let down. If you're shy too, maybe she needs more straightforwardness from you before she feels more comfortable being herself around you. Honestly, if you have any idea that she may possibly feel the same way, you need to be honest with her about how you feel. Even as coworkers, if nothing else, the honesty will make the situation less awkward. Unless she thinks you're totally creepy, she will appreciate your honesty and it could very well knock down those walls that create the hot/cold attitude.

[Asker]

thanks a lot for your reply! what you said would make a lot of sense with her lack of confidence as she such a pretty girl yet lacks confidence and it doesn't add up so it seems likely she has been in a bad relationship. also can't know for sure if she likes me it more of a gut feeling by way she used to really smile when I spoke to her and way she would look at me as though she was so happy to have me talk to her but laterly that been disapearing and its made me notice now :(

[Anonymous]

shelikes you, I do this with my crush. For me its cos I'm a little shy and a bit insecure. My crush is very shy and some days I think he doesn't like me, others I just feel like I'm not hot enough for him. Speak to her about it

[Asker]

what shud I say thou? I don't think being honest is best idea in this circumstances, its a shame girls think like this really its quite hard for guys to

[ice_queen]

I think she likes you. I'm shy as well, and cannot imagine pursuing someone only to find out that they don't feel the same way. So...the guy has to be the one to make it clear.

[PinkPenguin]

You probably did something to upset her.

[Asker]

no she be friendly one day then go back to the I don't exsist phase then vise versa but yh mayb