Why are some men clingy?

[Anonymous]

I said some men. I know women can be clingy too but I'm asking about the male gender and not female, just to clarify that ahead of time. Anyways, why do some men cling themselves to a female they barely know and have just met? Is there a psychological reason to it? Maybe past experiences or is that the way they are? How can a woman understand a man who is clingy?

Help because I am going through that now and he is a very sweet, and amazing guy but I feel that he is way too clingy. I don't want to let him go because he a rare catch but that clingy side is a problem.

I.e, we have known each other for a week and he already asked me to be his girlfriend and I politely said no and I gave him the reasons why; besides it being too soon. He's a gentleman and I appreciate that he treats me like a lady but ugh lol I wish he wasn't too clingy.

Anyways, a few explanations as to why he's like this would help alot. Men, please tell me and how can I solve it? He has been cheated on many times and been placed in the friendzone. Could that be why? or is it his personality?

[Anonymous]

Clingy is proportional to how much space you need compared to how much you want to see him.

But I do notice men being a lot more clingy and aggressive compared to women nowadays. I think it has to do with men pursuing and women well... just "waiting" all the time.

I have had 2 clingy girlfriends. one had parents forbidding her from seeing me and when I listened she continued to annoy me until she got her parents to give up. The other girl was flipping out on me for not wanting to see her 2 days in a row when the gas cost was becoming alarming to me. Her parents were also interfering with the relationship which got annoying. They'd try to regulate the amount of time she'd talk to me on the phone and such.

I did try having flings with these 2 guys and one got hella attached to me! I cut him off and he texted me for like 2 months straight. He would not give up! The other one was not as bad but he did take a while to take the hint. I honestly think once a guy has found someone he finds physically attractive, the clingy side becomes really noticeable.

[smokeythoms]

Thanks for this. I'm currently nuts over a new girl, but I'm very firmly not contacting her as much as I want, because I know how much clingy-ness is a turn-off.

Some men are clingy because they just haven't learned their lesson yet. I've been on the other end, where a girl will be super-clingy after just getting to know each other (not even having sex yet). It's such a turn-off; something about knowing you can have it so easily...

You can't solve this; this is HIS problem, not yours. What opened my eyes is when a girl I was nuts about in the past said, "Just be cool. Don't get all in my face, just be cool."

[Asker]

We'll I told him I like to let things flow and not think about where things will end up. It's just annoying when he says I'm amazing and such when he doesn't know me so well. I told him that I hope he still says that when I'm pissed off or on my dark times of the month

[smokeythoms]

Haha, you have no idea how much you're helping me ;) I'm afraid what he's doing is completely understandable for a lot of men: he has stars in his eyes, and you can do no wrong. You're right, it's annoying. If you're still interested in him, I suggest you be more clear to him. Be as clear to him as you're being to me right now.

[4x4fan]

I can definitely see how a guy that's been cheated on could become clingy IF...he was told that the reason for the girl cheating was he didn't pay enough attention to them. I think that could cause it.

But... another reason could be that he views you as a real catch and doesn't want to run the risk of losing you so he's paying you lots of attention. Obviously being "clingy" can have the opposite affect.

[WeaponZero]

Usually what causes it is overcompensation for lack of faith in the relationship and/or partner's ability or willingness to last. This lack of faith usually happens in the case of men who, not by choice, go for long periods of being alone in between relationships.

Basically, it's an inability to manage themselves in a relationship that stems from the fact that their low self confidence tricks them into thinking that they're going to get one shot and one shot only.

[Asker]

So is there anything I can do?

[WeaponZero]

There are things you can do to band-aid the problem but it's up to him to address the source--his own self confidence. If he fails to do so, any attempts you do to band-aid the problem will backfire in the long run and make things worse.

[Asker]

Thank you

[TMWLOP]

Well, its could just be that he wants to know you but is coming off as clingy, sure its weird but maybe try to just get to know him, if he's glued too your side 24/7 just explain to him that you don't like it and he'll back off, it may come off as rude, but just be honest and he may understand and become better in a sense

[Asker]

I went to go see him after I got out of salsa. He was working and yes, I did feel excited afterward and happy that I saw him. But I only want to see him when I want to. You know what I mean? Feelings aren't too strong for me to actually want to see him most of the time. Is fresh ya know? I. Did tell him I wanted to take things slow and that we are just getting to know each other, that is all.

[TMWLOP]

No I understand, say that you want to take things slow is the that same as saying he's too clingy, its awesome he makes you feel happy but I you gotta tell him what's bothering you or he'll never know

[Asker]

Ok. I will thank you lots for the advice

[TMWLOP]

No problem hope I helped

[Special11]

There is no doubt this guy has a small dick... he is clingy because he hurts so bad from his past experiences. ...he is very insecure...his clinging is his way of begging you not hurt him like the others and the more you around him the more secure he feels... tell him to go do his own thing, before you move onto to bigger things...

[Anonymous]

He probably has been lonely for quite a long time. You may be really attractive to him. Thus, he is getting way too excited about talking and knowing you. To be honest, I don't know why guys do that. I never cling to any girl, even though I never had a girlfriend in my life...

[hunterg10]

I am only clingy/excited around people that I am trying to get to know better. People say I can be clingy because I like to know what is going on in my friends lifes. People mistake my kindness as being clingy

[TMWLOP]

Thats true

[Asker]

He is kind but he jumped the gun way too quick

[Anonymous]

Do you understand what the purpose of life is? The purpose of life is for life to perpetuate itself! What is your definition of clingy, because if you cannot appreciate love then you are just a lost soul! I have seen a lot of girls that I didn't know yet I wanted to instantly fall in love with them. I wanted to be around them all the time and always have my arms around them. You should make life about relationships, because everything else is irrelevant. It's absurd that you as a human being having to justify your life to an income to pay another person to live in this world! Love is much needed and yes you should base your life on passing around that love! Not talking about sexually, I'm talking about spreading the love so the world can be a better place!

[Asker]

Um ok?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry that you do not understand love. Your weak!

[Asker]

Ok lol

[Opinion Owner]

That's OK, because were you are lost, their will be a girl that understands me! It's sad that you are only making comments because deep down you know I am right. You want the perfect love so much deep down that it gets to you at times. Or your not human!

[Anonymous]

Well when some guys finally get a girlfriend they become clingy because they haven't had many opportunities for a relationship so when it finally happens they become in love or infatuated but guys who have had many opportunities when it comes to dating are more secure because they know if the girl breaks up with him that there will be another girl around the corner but with a clingy guy he knows if he loses the girl it will be a while before or if ever he gets a girlfriend again.

[Anonymous]

becuase most men know they are worthless (based on societies standards) and they pray for years ( me 6 years ) to find a female who is willing to lower herself to someone as ugly as me and date us , so she gets all our attention

[Asker]

He's actually very cute lol but thank you

[arobb95]

probably because you lead them on

[Asker]

Huh? Re read my whole story.. Obviously you didn't get he pictures

[ihatetakingcharge]

Probably have been lonely for a while

[Asker]

Well I've been single for a year and a half now and I'm not lonely not do I feel lonely. Maybe because I haven't had someone check up on me (in a good way) or show that caring side. I don't know, it's just a bit frustrating

[ihatetakingcharge]

be glad you don't have to initiate

[Asker]

I have no problem with that actually. I've grown as a person and I can reciprocate

[ihatetakingcharge]

You have approached and pursued a guy before?

[Asker]

Yes. I also do have older friends so I learn from them

[ihatetakingcharge]

because most girls are old fashioned and stubbornly insist that guys do the pursuing, initiating, asking out

[Anonymous]

They crave somebody.

[Asker]

Don't get me wrong, I do too but I've come to realize that people come and go so that's why I don't pay too much mind to anybody trying to get to know me. Except it's just ughhhhh lol. Maybe I haven't let time pass by so my feelings can "grow"