Why do girls obsess about their crushes?

[Anonymous]

Why do girls think about their crushes for long periods of time, like months or even years?

If I like a girl, I just approach her. If unsuccessful, I move on to the next girl. If you’re actually not going to approach the person you like, why bother thinking about him or asking questions on GAG about the situation?

[toulouse]

its called pining and guys are no exception.

think people should absolutely be more supportive of women being assertive going after what they want and moving on ig they don't get it. if you haven't noticed most of the threads here are based on men expecting women to respond to their advances not make their own.

i don't think about a person instead of approaching them. if I think about it its because I'm sorting out something about myself or my life or work or obligations and how I want to conduct myself in my life, and if the person I like is worth it and an problems that might be an obstacle in my making a move or wanting to. plus I in most cases, prefer to know the person well.. so the tim I spend getting to know them before making a move isn't simply thinking of them instead of doing something, its along side in of it.

and since I don't necessarily want to be in a relationship I'm not in a rush to jump from one try to the next. I'm often content to make an attempt and ponder the results learn from the experience. however if its just a crush I'm not going to give it any thought. if its someone I barely know- a crush . and I ask him out and he says no or is ambiguous id forget him. but if its someone I've known and perhaps haven't ben clear with, ill put more effort into it.

and by the way, I don't see any difference time wis about going after 100 people or just one.

i agree though. if you're not going to make a move you should mov on. I also think no one should tell someone else what thy are supposed to do. they should do what feels right. most people tell women if making a move feels right then their feelings are wrong.. not feminine enough. you're looking at this in a very narrow light.

alot of women do make moves and mov on. you should ask them why they do that instead of just waiting around. if you really want to get an understanding of things.

people ask questions on gag because most people suck at communicating and they get confused. that's not a fear of rejection its just frustration. and most advice is based on being secretive or subtle , so everyone ends up right back where they started.

why are you on gag? what do you do here since you're not asking about 'crushes'.

[laceyz565]

Nt you just the most romantic thing ev3r! This is a dumb question bwcause silly girls developed feelings for a guy and tbere kind of hopeless romantis. So sometimes doing something about it wrecks the illusion because maybe you tell himand he's everything you thought he would be then perfect but a crush is called a crush for a reason. If I like a guy and I'm thinking how sweet wed be and how bed buy me flowers and throw rocks at my Window thwn I tell him and he thinks I'm ugly that's gonna not only destroy your crush its gonna destroy that image you had for them and it will make them cry. This is morefor like teenaaged girls. I think adult girls crushes are similar but a little more real. So if I start to develop feelings for a guy right the reason why I wouldn't tell him is because unlike you girls some girls can't shake off rejections or feelings that quick, like if he was like no your ugly it would be devastating because I still like this guy who thinks I'm a piece of shit and I just got totally rejected. Sometimes I think girls would rather not know just to save themselfs from that so they hope for the guy that he will fall for her and confess his feelings for her even though that's unlikely. There you go that is why

[Anonymous]

because men are more used to get rejected and take 'no' as an answer.. they've been trained for this (making all the moves, having initiative, getting something started) since childhood. plus, they develop other interests besides girls and relationships, and male-bonding activities also serve the purpose. many girls, instead, are raised with an inherited obsession for other (male) people's approval. when someone 'rejects' them, they tend to take a lot of time and do a lot of instrospection to process it. definitely, when together, they also rarely do something different than talking about guys. there's no female-bonding whatsoever, really - which doesn't help.

[MariellaRo]

really, I never talk to my girlfriends about guys.

[Anonymous]

Many people are scared to approach the person they are interested in, and so instead will turn to their friends or GAG in order to either 1) gain the confidence to approach the crush 2) find out the best way to approach, or 3) make the crush interested in them and get the crush to ask them out, rather than asking the crush out.

You are lucky you have the confidence to just approach a girl and simply move on if unsuccessful. But others are self-concious and fear rejection. If rejected, they take this personally and fee like they're not good enough.

There are girls who have the confidence to just approach a guy, you just might not see them on GAG since they don't need others' advice.

[Falling4UTC]

Well I truthfully obsess over a crush because I dont obsess over anyone until I find the perfect guy. Once I do, I am too afraid to be let down. I just like a guy so much that it takes my mind off of life and it ends up taking over. I can't really stop the deep feelings once that happens...

[Anonymous]

You are so so right. I mean i'm the best example, (please don't judge) but i've liked two guys for a year and over a year. It's pathetic I know but i'm too shy and scared of rejection to do anything about it! :( so i just wait and try to see if there's any way to get to know him...

[skyly]

I guess they just use the wrong term. a crush is what you said, but sometimes more feelings get involved and it seems all more nervewrecking. I think it's rather 'one-sided' love. and I think people may ask cause they don't want to mess up, don't want to get hurt and are maybe not sure to risk it (esp if that crush developed from a good friendship)

[To-shy-to-ask-him]

Very well said

I'm having that problem right now

I really like my friend but I don't know how he feels about me. And I DONT want things to become awkward between us if he doesn't feel the same

[Anonymous]

Chemicals in the brain are being released and some of them are associated with OCD which causes the obsession. Dopamine is also released which is also released when on drugs which makes them happier. Those happy feelings are what causes the crush to last a long time because girls love how they feel.

[CommieDearest]

I totally agree with you, and I'm glad you're that way, but, Men do the same thing, it's called the "friend zone"

[Anonymous]

Personally I am an emotional person. I constantly think of my crush or even have dreams about him. I would I am obsess. As of me approaching the guy. I don't because I am afraid of rejection, and if I do get rejected. I will get highly emotional, and over think the rejection. Naturally guys are less emotional then girls.

[Anonymous]

Some girls are to nervous or scared to approach the guys they like because they don't want to have the feeling of being turned down because the guy doesn't like her. Some girls aren't as confident as guys to approach and get turned down. Girls hate being turned down.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because girls aren't the same fucking thing as guys are. Guys have more of a mental stability to approach a girl and say whatever the fuck he wants to her and just so you know, most girls DO approach their crush, and most guys aka 98% of guys are afraid to approach their crush too, so it's not always the girl in every situation.

[juliasophia716]

A lot of girls find it fun and exciting, sort of like a game to figure out if the boy likes her and if not, then it's a game to try to get him to like her.

[Mkj576]

Girls having crushes are different from guys. Like you said when a guy likes someone they approach them. But in a girls mind she doesn't want to look obsessive if she asks a guy out or she doesn't want to be rejected and it be awkward.

[Anonymous]

Because we think that if we approach the guy we like he will think that we're annoying and we feel like he will reject going out with us so we just imagine how it would be to be with them

[Anonymous]

Haha, some girls are nervous to talk to their crush. Also they might have a crush on them but dont think that it could actually hold a relationship in the future.

[Anonymous]

Girls are more insecure and afraid of rejection. They rather be approached rather than approach.

[Anonymous]

Most guys lead girls on getting their hopes up, and by that time they're already attached.

[Anonymous]

Because that's human nature

[Anonymous]

Because girls know they options

[Anonymous]

I would love to know the answer to that actually

[Anonymous]

C