So i know a girl that has a huge crush on me for at least 2 years and she is so insecure that turn me off, so i always try to pretend I do not understand her signals (About her liking me)
She is always saying that wants to be hugged, and is ugly (its not), is fat and bla bla
She already dated a ugly guy, completely off her legue just bc its insecure (she end up with him bc liked another person (yes it me but i pretend i don´t know).
Now she ask me on a date, and i don´t know what to do!
-Should i just say i don´t like her bc she is insecure and has slow self-esteem (this can afect her ego even more) or -Sould i try to have a relation with her and try chance that mindset she has? (wich i don´t belive its likelly)
If you like her too, then I say you should take the opportunity and try to raise her confidence! Let her know that she looks good just the way she is, and be kind to her. If she keeps refusing no matter how much you compliment her, then... that’s a problem deeper within her I think. I understand how she feels because I felt that way once too, but she needs to discover and understand self love by herself. If you support her though, and let her know that you love everything SHE CONSIDERS an imperfection, it’ll really help her. Just make sure you let her know that what she perceives to be imperfect, is not actually an imperfection and it’s just a trait/part of her that just doesn’t look the way it does on someone else. If it doesn’t work out, then let her know gently. If she’s insecure about just her body, then let her know that it just wasn’t compatible personality-wise!
Keep yourself in her shoes. Simple. Giving an opinion on this question is a bit tricky. Because you know yourself best. It's your choice whether you want to have a relationship with her or not. Of course knowing others' ideas isn't bad and can actually help you decide during dilemmas. But while finally making a decision, ask yourself, whether you'd like to be rejected because of your flaws or not. What would you expect from a person in front of you to say or do if you were insecure? How would you feel if you were her? But don't take too seriously. You don't have to necessarily and forcibly become St. Teresa. But do consider that by giving love and care and being kind to this girl can totally change her life.
I don't know how 'insecure' she is if she's asking you out...
Also I dealt with some severe insecurities in my past but I never talked about them openly. I mean I don't know what she's going through so I can't say for sure but to me it seems like she MAYBE says those things for attention. It's possible she's just far more open but I don't know. How does she react when she says she's ugly and you don't say anything? Does she seem upset or angry?
she ask me out in a very shy way, i immediately play it cool, at the same time it's been 2 year, she need to make the move... I say that she is pretty but i don't think she believe it, but that "attention thing" it can be possible too
I think you should be honest (with you and her) but kind to her. If you like her and feel like you should give it a change go for it, if not just end things. Also... Try to advise her to get some kind of help. If you know her parents/friends try to talk to them about the situation. I think therapy would have a positive impact on her life and self-esteem :)
I don't think I could handle that. My best advice might be, if you can't motivate her to be more confident in herself without being pushy or mean about it, then hmm I reckon you may be better of saving your energy and finding another girl. But if she's that insecure, please be gentle if you do break it off with her. Not all relationships work out. Personally, especially from what you've described, I do think I should steer clear from insecure girls, but neither should I flock to arrogant girls either. Good luck. Cya.
Oh boy! Do you like to try going out with her? Then understand one thing, learn to tell that you dont like her low self-esteem and her insecure Nature. Because i have been with the same kind of girl who actually was adamant about her behaviour with me
Be honest. Tell her you like her but her insecurity is just too much to deal with and that if she wants a chance she has to fucking work on that shit HERSELF. She can't expect you to fix it.
Don't lead her on if you're not into her, that'd be a douche move. However, if you do want to date her, just be aware it will require a lot of reassurance and patience. Especially patience. Its not necessarily a bad thing, because with the right influence over time she might become more confident. Just dont walk into the relationship expecting to fix her, love her for who she is.
Even as a pretty insecure girl (most girls are), I'm telling you to stop that 'trying to be noble' crap and just tell her, 'hey i know you have a thing for me, sorry I just don't feel that way'. Guys and girls all around the world have done this and gone through this. How she handles the rejection is none of your business at all, you can't fix something that she has to fix herself.
A really insecure person is going to be the worsstttt in a relationship so I would say she’s a no go romantically. As a friend though, you should tell her that she’s attractive and good-looking guys would be interested in her if she showed a higher level of confidence.
Hi. Maybe it could be a mental disease, maybe immaturity. If she really has an inferiority complex it is something that can be treated by specialists. But if she cannot get treatment it will feel "drainy" when you try to help her. You will feel drained. You could get counseling with a specialist in the subject if you really want help.
I would say, be friends with her. Try to let her get into her comfor zone with you. If you like her for who she is when she’s not so I herfor who she is when she's not so insecure, then go for it. BUT if you don’t see her doing anything, then don’t go for it.
A girls insecurities can be changed, just show he that she is beautiful, perfect in everything she is. I'd suggest at least try a relationship with her, and do your best to help her work through her insecurities. That's the best thing I feel you can do
yes if you don't like her because you believe she has low self esteem then say that instead of stringing her around. it's unfair to her and you will literally make it worse. also good luck finding a woman that doesn't have low self esteem haha
it's really pathetic of u keep her giving false hope by not saying no, just tell her u r not interested in her, if u want attention try someone else don't waste her time, if u don't like her then why don't u just tell he? maybe she will start loving herself after her heartbreak
its simple i've been there before, tell her you are not looking for anything serious at this point in your life, quite easy and can't find anyone to blame, its not her its not you, its just wrong timing.
Hey, there has to be attraction there. If you don’t feel it, tell her move on! are you sure she isn’t just shy? Because there is a difference between shy and lack of self- confidence.
yeah she needs to work on herself before getting in a any serious relationship, just be straightforward. tell her the way it is, I was once insecure and realized what a turn off it was
Insecure people make you miserable, and they tend to cheat. Changing her isn't likely because insecurity usually stems from something deeply embedded, like past trauma. I say be her friend. You'll become exhausted dating her. I know from experience. I was dumped by an insecure man. I was a little sad, but mostly relieved.
Super insecure people will make your relationship hell
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Insecure girls are sluts that fuck loads of guys to feel loved. But secure girls feel they are sexually better than men and have to sleep around. So, your not gonna find a girl in the US today that hasn’t been with over 40 guys
Jus try to go easy on them, they might have a reason they’re insecure, I have a reason why I am. And just try to show them that they aren’t all those things they think they are.
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