I think feminine & ‘sexy’ are the same thing to a large degree. A partial list: *Needs/wants a man for more than sex. Some women pretend to be bimbos to trigger this cue. But that’s just an extreme example. Women by nature are physically weaker than men in most cases so naturally a woman would expect a man yo be her protector & he would expect it too. *Looks different than a man: waist much smaller than hips, breasts & so on. Without the female sex traits she could not be as feminine. *women are conditioned/expected to not be as aggressive as men (at least not with strangers). A woman who is aggressive/dominant in the workplace is called ‘masculine’. I am not passing a good/bad type judgement here. Just saying.
*a feminine woman will take more pride/care in her appearance than the average man. Maybe partly because way back in the day women looked more like guys (from the modern POV) and the more modifications she makes, the less like guys she is. Imagine if women never shaved/waxed/plucked, etc. think how the more out of shape a woman is the more unisex she looks (same for men). Think of tom boys... they are not very feminine when in tom boy mode. Although some of them are still sexy. I guess to really narrow down ‘feminine’ you could think about what makes a sexy tom boy sexy.
I'd mainly say cuteness, people would say "cute laugh, cute reactions, and other cute things" but I guess cuteness says that all, other things like kindness, above-average empathy, basically any kind of nice comforting feelings you know? Lastly I'd say the typical feminine ways of talking, walking, but that's also under cute so...
Taking on the female appearance. Adopting female mannerisms. And most importantly acting sweet and submissive. Desiring to be lead by a stronger person most likely male. Not that she's not capable of being independent but she understands and accepts the order of the natural world. This doesn't mean man dominates woman, but rather cares for, provides for, protects her.
Have femenine manners. Obliously, she has to be attractive. I wouldn't find a cone shaped woman femenine. She has to have femenine attributes, too. It comes as a package. Said that, if a hot chick points at het vagina and roars "eat this bitch", that's downer.
Attitude and body language. Emphasis on womanly features as well as natural mannerisms of attraction such as the voice rising in pitch, mimicry, playing with the ends of your hair, and that sexy lip bite.
That's it. Examine for yourself personal and public descriptions of men as feminine, or women as highly feminine. It's the appearance of weakness or even helplessness. We do not describe, intelligent, hard-working, strong, capable, independent people as feminine.
Ok, i get it. But weakness is generally a bad thing. Women are more caring, more open, tender. Or let me point out emotional intelligence, talking skills or sense for visual beauty. Don't these traits distinguish women from men?
Weakness isn't bad, it's a perfectly normal part of the human condition. As you can see, it actually works quite well for women and children in general. Women are not inherently more caring, open or tender. Those traits are socially instilled. "Emotional intelligence" is a catch phrase coined by pop psychologists to quantify and justify the tendency for women to control domestic partnerships. Now that we've been able to study homosexual relationships in depth for decades, we now know it's hooey. Women talk more to say less. I don't consider that skillful by any standard. As far as the sense for visual beauty, men outnumber women in the visual arts and in fashion, as creators. Arguably, women's tendency to spend more time, energy and money on their personal appearance is also social conditioning. We're trending away from it as we get more generations away from women relying on men for their livelihoods and not just having options, but making use of them.
The main reason so many people are in an uproar about sexual identity and gender identity is because they're afraid. They fear change because it might mean they don't get something they want, or they don't get to keep something they've always had. Plus, we're lazy creatures. We like taking roles for granted and we don't want to have to discuss everything openly and honestly. Men and women both struggle with this. It doesn't really matter what the whole of society thinks masculinity or femininity is, as long as you can agree on what it means between you and your people. And, most importantly, as long as we can agree to disagree if you & your people disagree with me & my people, and we don't have to resort to violence or oppression to resolve our differences.
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