Why is it so awkward between us now?

[Anonymous]

I went out to a foam party and when I came out my friend met her boyfriend so I decided to go home, I went towards the bus stop and I saw a guy I had been flirting with for about a week. He was with one of his friends and I asked him if they were going home and if I could go with them (we live in the same building) . We were all waiting for a bus to come and I was really cold and jokingly asked him if I could have his shirt but he wasn't wearing anything under it so he said that he would be cold so I said something like so it's OK for me to be cold then and I touched his hand to show him how cold I was. Then he said something so I said I'll hug if you're mean to me because I was still wet. Then I hugged him and he hugged me back and we stayed like that for a minute. Then he jokingly complained that I had made him wet. Then we went inside to wait for the bus and he sort of put his arm around me to guide me in. Then we got a bus and we went to the back seat and I put my head on his shoulder and he out his head on me for a bit. Then he said that I could go back to his room to get warm because my radiator wasn't working but I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. So when we got off the bus I headed towards my room and said I'll see you soon and he said aren't you coming back to mine for a bit to hug the radiator so I did do. So I sat on his bed and sat on half the quilt and pulled the rest over me (the radiator was behind his bed) so he was sitting on the end of the bed leaning on my legs with no quilt so he said this doesn't seem like a very fair deal to me so I started to move and I said you know if I lie down here I will fall asleep so he said that's fine you can just stay here so I got into bed but I was still wearing my wet clothes so he gave me one of his t shirts to wear and I got into bed and he put his arm around me and I lay on my side and draped my arm over him and after a while he asked me if I was still awake so I looked at him and he kissed me and it was quite sweet. Then we slept for a bit longer we kept kissing. Then he started touching me and tried to get on top of me but I told him I didn't want to do anything and he didn't seem to mind- he kissed me on the shoulder and sort of pulled me into him a bit and we went back to sleep. But when we got up it was really awkward and I put my dress on again and went towards the door and he came to the door and I would have kissed him but he didn't seem to want to so I just went. Now whenever I see him which is quite often as we have loads of mutual friends it is really awkward and I find it hard to talk to him. I still like him and want to know what it meant to him but I'm not sure I can bring it up without making things even more strange between us, I haven't told any of our mutual friends because I wasn't sure how they would react. I miss being flirty friends with him with the chance it may become more. Should I just give up or will it get easier over time? Thanks for any advice.

[Simple-Simonette]

Maybe he's just as lost of how to react to this as you are. It could be that he's waiting to see what you're going to do about it, acknowledge it, ignore it, talk about it, follow up and until someone makes it "real" you guys are dealing with a situation where everyone is ignoring the elephant in the room.

I think you need to stop projecting your worries onto him - you don't know exactly how he feels about this situation so don't jump to conclusions until then. I know it's hard not to speculate, especially on the side of caution - it's much easier to try and avoid rejection than to be open to the possibility that he may feel the same way you do. Maybe he felt awkward because he tried to push it too far and you "rejected" him, maybe he's projecting his own insecurities about how you feel as well.

You can confront him with that night or you can reassure him there were no hard feelings with your actions. With confronting him, it doesn't have to be something as direct as just blurting it out, you can just thank him for taking you in and giving you something dry to wear or you can remain casual and maintain that to let him know that there are no hard feelings about what happened.

I think he may feel like he offended you or crossed a line that made him embarrassed or ashamed of his actions and just doesn't know how to recover from that. For me, that's a better possibility than him not caring at all.

Whatever you decide, don't just allow this to hang in limbo until it fades away - if you really like him and there's a chance - do something about it.

Good luck.

[BeautifulxDisaster]

He more than likely viewed you as a "booty-call." After seeing that you didn't want to put out, he probably decided that flirting is now pointless. Usually when a guy reads that you like him, then tries to get you to have sex and you reject him, he see's that you're looking for something more. He's probably not looking for a relationship and just wants to have fun. Through my experience, that's what often causes guys to 'lose interest' so to speak.

[Eagen64]

Give it time, you'll make it through.