My crush unfollowed me and a few others from Instagram? I'm so hurt?

[Anonymous]

So I'm honestly sad about this right now. All this time ever since I've known her she's been nothing, but someone who constantly drains my energy. She left me hurt, acts strange all of a sudden with no explanation, she rejected me by saying she wants to stay friends and now this? Screw it, I may also unfollow her else where as well. She hurt me and it's been way too much! I thought we were at least friends I just wanna know all of her talk about friendship, how can she do this? Was she lying all along or was just temporary? Why does she have to be mean? What about our friendship? Why do people come into your life and disappear just like that? :(

[Porcelaine]

Definitely unfollow her also and don't waste any more energy on her. She made her feelings clear, so you should move on. It does not surprise that people act like this, because if they don't want to keep contact with someone they should do exactly that. what surprises me that people like you worship the ones who reject them even more, still calling her your crush. People want what they can't have. She can have you way too easily thats why she doesn't want you.

[Asker]

She already removed me from her followers and unfollowed me. It doesn't seem like I'm the only one though. The number of her followers dropped. And I know a guy who used to follow her and it appears she unfollowed him as well. I just wanna know your opinion, should I tell her about it? or should I just delete her from Facebook and do like she did there?

Listen, I didn't choose to feel this way! I wish that I could just stop thinking about her and live my life, but it's been VERY difficult! Once she started acting distant in fact, I stopped talking to her. It was hard not to, but I forced myself. I've been doing what I can, but this just hit hard! Like I've known her for more than 2 years now and she just throws that in the trash! I know it's probably only me feeling this way because I really liked her. I wannalet it out and cry but I can't. I hope you understand.

[Porcelaine]

''And I know a guy who used to follow her and it appears she unfollowed him as well. I just wanna know your opinion, should I tell her about it?'' why would you tell her? if she unfollowed him she already knows about it lol. stop looking for excuses to talk to her. yes it will be hard, but you WILL get over this. she already removed you from her life, decided you are not worthy to be in it so please do not waste any more time or energy feeling bad about this. go do somethig that will make you feel good.

[Asker]

Should I unfollow her from Facebook then? :(

[Porcelaine]

100% you should. why follow a person who removed you from her life. please move on to people who pay attention to you.

[Asker]

Thinking about you're right. I think it's mostly my emotions that are controlling me right now. Which is why I have such a drive to message her. I can't make a decision based on my emotions. So you're right, she chose this. She chose to unfollow me and remove me which means she doesn't want to share anything with me nor hear from me. So thinking about it now, it's best that I cut things off with her on my end as well. When she did this, when she unfollowed me and removed me, it means that that's what she wants.

[Porcelaine]

yes, respect her wishes and more importantly respect yourself. if you started messaging her after she made it clear she wants no contact with you that would make you seem a bit sad. move on to better people. dont let your emotions get the better of you.

[Asker]

She didn't make it "clear" that she wants no contact with me, in fact, she said she didn't want to lose the friendship when I confessed to her back then.

[Asker]

Which is why I wanted to know what's going on...

[Porcelaine]

It IS clear. she unfollowed you. which means she has no interests. stop making excuses for her.

[Asker]

I don't know I really can't hold on any longer seriously... :(
I'm trying...

[Porcelaine]

Hold on what?

[Asker]

Hold on to not talk to her. :/

[Porcelaine]

You need to let go of her. start respectign yourself.

[Asker]

If only you were there to slap the s*** out of me. I'm still sad as hell and the feeling doesn't seem to go away...

[Asker]

Pathetic I know...

[Porcelaine]

it's self control. think of it as quitting drugs. because what you are doing, this unhealthy fixation is toxic to you and as long as you keep thinking about her you are just suffering. spend your time in better ways.

[Asker]

Well said. Thank you for your opinion Porcelaine.

[Laealia]

Us girls can do that sometimes. tbh she was probs mass unfollowing. Dont take it personally

[Asker]

It is and it seems like she removed people from her followers including me. It seems she kept her girlfriends though. Not sure why she did it doesn't she care at least about our friendship?

[Laealia]

How well do you know her? Social media can be a big part of some girls lives and some have thiswhole I can't be following more people that follow me mindset

[Laealia]

Also a piece of advice on girls according to psychology. It concerns me that you k ow she unfollowed others; like u were social media stalking her. Sometimes if you stalk someone on sm, u start to idolize them and they are harder to talk to

[Laealia]

Definitely try to be better friends

[Asker]

She told me more than once that I'm a good friend I don't think there's an issue here. I mean through all the conversations we've had on Facebook, I was always the one to initiate just to ask about her. She didn't do this. She only started conversations for work purposes. Although once I do start a conversation with her, it wouldn't just end. We would talk about stuff. The thing is that even after I confessed, it didn't affect anything. Like we continued like nothing happened. I thought she'd distance herself, but she didn't. In fact, she told me she didn't want to lose the friendship. Which is why I'm kinda surprised and sad that she's acting like this. She went cold. I mean it's not like she never acted cold or distant before, but this time it was different. Either way, I asked what's wrong the last time I saw her in person and she said nothing. But I insisted she said that there was something but it's insignificant and she refused to share it. I didn't insist any further. I left but I was sad and that's the last time I saw her. Then I heard she quit work and the last time I spoke with her was about IT through Facebook and she also was kinda cold. Taking time to reply. I thought I should stop talking to her so I did. It was the last time I spoke with her and I haven't heard from her since. Now that she did this, I don't know if I should try one more time to talk to her (ignoring the fact that she unfollowed me) or totally forget her. Both choices seem very difficult. :(

[Laealia]

Just wait a while

[Asker]

It's been a while... I mean since I last spoke to her online.

[Laealia]

How long? Some hold grudges for a while. If it's trivial like she says it is she'll cool down. After a couple of weeks say something try talking to her again. If she still acts short with you shoot a text asking whats wrong and if she's still upset. If she doesn't answer, then don't spend anymore time on her.

[Asker]

It's been two and a half weeks since I last messaged her. I honestly want to message her and see what's up, but I can't just ignore the fact that she unfollowed me. It's still painful to think about.
The weird thing is that she hasn't been very active recently on Facebook (of course I don't know about Instagram though).
So here's the thing, there are two options at this point. Option one is to message her, see how she's doing, what's happening, which has two outcomes. 'A' She won't reply and totally ignores it or she'll take forever only to reply with a short answer. Or 'B' she'll end up replying to it and likely I'll know what's going on.
Option two is to just straight up remove her from Facebook like she did with Instagram and move on.
I have to say the first option is likely to affect my pride while the second one is very difficult!

[Laealia]

Just wait longer. I have a feeling she is dealing with something personal

[Laealia]

I'd say move on but I'm going through that rn and if you love her it'll be hard to convince you to do that

[Asker]

I want to know what's right. I can't let my emotions drive me. I want to know what's going on with her really. "I have a feeling she is dealing with something personal" well she could be, but my mind is running wild as to why she did this. And It's not healthy. I want to talk to her, then I back off. I say I should stop it, but it comes back. I'm desperate to talk to her, then I remind myself what she did and then my mind starts thinking about why she did this again and this is happening on and on and on... I can't hold on anymore...

[Laealia]

Listen I understand. It seems like you had the answer all along. Watch Ask Kimberly onYouTube. she has a great video on how to get over a crush that's psychology.

[Laealia]

I liked a guy from age 5 to 13. He rejected me. 1 yr later and I still love him but I'm not sad anymore. After a while you will move on and feel free. Time is the best healer

[Laealia]

Only u can know the right thing

[Asker]

Okay I'll look her up. It's a really tough time in my life. I've been through a kind of similar situation, I've had a crush on a girl same thing, but we weren't as close as my current crush. I was obsessed with her and when I finally realized that I really have no chance anymore, I was so sad. I remember my last message with her and I think I came on too strong and looked desperate. Either way, I have no contact with her and I forgot about her once I had a crush on that one. I still remember how it felt like when she used hang out with this dude while I was broken. I still remember the feeling and I wasn't used to it. Now, this girl and I got kinda close, and for someone to get close to you and you realize you have no chance with them, it can seriously hurt. Especially since this girl looked physically attractive to me. I fantasized about her A LOT. Which is not good, but it happened. So yeah, it takes time. The problem is that I don't easily get along with someone, so if I don't talk to other girls, it would be difficult to get over her.

[Laealia]

Going through that rn... I was liked this guy in 8th grade and now this year he goes to a new school. He rejected mein the past and theonly thing i have is email. A few times i invited him and mutual friends to group events but he has a busy schedule. Afew weeks back I sent an email saying how's school and then sent a follow up talking about my new one. Later last night I sent one asking when he is free to catch up. He hasn'responded to the emails yet... although it usually takes a week to reply. Tell me how it goes with her

[Asker]

Honestly, going through it in my head, I think I shouldn't talk to her. I think she unfollowed me for a reason and whatever it is, it's probably not pleasant. She obviously doesn't want to hear from me nor talk to me. Sigh I'm feeling so down right now. I can't talk to her and I can't not talk to her. :(

[Laealia]

It will be easier of you decide what you want to do and which path to take. Rn your floating in the middle.

[Asker]

What do you mean by "Rn your floating in the middle"?

[Laealia]

You're stuck in between 2 options... you haven't made a decision. Ur going back and forth which causes stress

[Asker]

Exactly!
The number one thing that even the thought of it depresses me is thinking that she might've found someone. :(
She didn't remove me from Facebook though and she's not very active there ever since and she was always active. I honestly don't want to bother you with this because I'm just in a state of hopelessness I could talk forever, but I need someone to vent to.

[Laealia]

Oh no don't worry!!! Its fine. I get it. Whatever she's picked about I'm sure she'll get over it with time if you had a real friendship

[Asker]

I chose option two.

[Asker]

I think it's for the best.

[Laealia]

Good luck 😁

[Asker]

Thank you. To you as well!

[Asker]

She had no appreciation for the friendship at all.

[Anna912]

I’m really sorry to hear that you are hurt.. but it looks like there is not much you can do in this situation. You did everything you could to be with her, or at least to be her friend. But if she doesn’t want to, you must move on. I know it’s easy to say, but you have to, for your own good. First, unfollow her. Because it will be harder to move on if you will still be able to see her pictures. And then, focus on your own daily activities. And don’t worry, the right person will come at the right moment. Just be patient.

[Asker]

Thank you :'(
She not only unfollowed me, but also removed me from her followers as well. I don't seem to be the only one she did this to though. Should I unfriend her on Facebook? I want to.

[Anna912]

I think you should. It will be easier to move on. Seeing her content is going to remind you of her..

[Asker]

I think I'll wait a little for that.

[Asker]

My mind just keeps telling me to talk to her now and see what's up... :(

[Anonymous]

Maybe she got a boyfriend that was insecure and made her feel like she had to unfollow you? People do that shit everyday. I know I did. Its not healthy, but its real. I met a guy that I am very much in love with and he made me see that a lot of my "friends" that were men werent really friends at all. A lot of male friends just want something else from you and dont mention it until after you are already seeing someone. Which leads to so many problems. So yes, it becomes an issue we avoid by unfollowing and/or unfriending you. It depends on the friendship. Were you active friends? Meaning, you hung out a lot and were really just friends? Or was it a "We talk sometimes on social media but thats it" friendship?

[Asker]

We were college friends, but I didn't see her as much in college and I was talking to her every now and then after college we happen to work in the same place and we definitely spoke and talked many many times since then. She even said that I'm a good friend. We spoke In person (at work) and on Facebook. It's only recently that I started to reduce my interactions with her because she started to act kinda cold. My last interaction with her in person she barely spoke and she didn't share what was wrong exactly. She's so confusing. And then she left work without telling me. I already told her that I'm mad about it, but she treated it like I'm overthinking things and completely disregarded it and I was left sad and hurt. So I stopped messaging her. But now this? I don't know what's wrong, but I'm still very hurt. :(
She didn't unfollow me only, there's a guy I know from college and it seems like she unfollowed him as well. Not only that, but she removed me from her followers as well.

[scorchedwater]

calm down, if it bothers you so much just talk to her or just unfollow her back. social media is weirdly important to people. it's like an unfollow is a backhand to your face.

[Asker]

Why would I talk to her about it? I'm sure it'll make things worse... I got nothing but constant disappointment ever since I've known her. I think I better remove her from Facebook.

[scorchedwater]

i don't understand... she's treated you badly, she's been a constant disappointment, and you're still torn up about her unfollowing you? you've BEEN putting up with her treating you badly and now... i don't understand you. do what you feel i guess.

[Asker]

You do understand that I still had feelings for her. I've been trying to move on ever since she made it clear that she wanted to remain friends, but it's extremely difficult! Like I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I wanna know how can people be so mean? Not so long ago she was saying how she didn't want to lose the friendship we have. What is this then? Was she just saying this to comfort me? I have many unanswered questions. She acts distant all of a sudden without explanation and now this? :(

[scorchedwater]

sorry man.

[RACKnight]

Your ego has taken a blow. Not easy to take, but this wave has gone by. Gotta wait for another one. Pursuing this won't make thing better. It won't.

[Asker]

In fact if I mention this to her I'll give her unnecessary attention so I'm not doing that. I think I'll just remove her from Facebook.

[RACKnight]

That's best. She's trying to avoid conforntation. So be Burger Kind and let her have it her way.😏

[Asker]

I did. I think it's for the best.

[Anonymous]

She’s not into you dude, take a hint and let it go. You’re age says you’re a bit too old to be upset over an instagram follow..

[Asker]

No, listen we've been friends for more than 2 years now! Imagine this! Like everything she told me about our friendship was BS? I'm so sad because I didn't expect such a thing to happen.

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe it’s a good thing since you said she’s drained your energy ever since you known her

[Asker]

Exactly! And this is what I'm trying to tell myself! Like she's slowly fading away from my life and maybe it's a good thing. It's a good thing that she's gone now and I don't have to think about her anymore. I hope I'll be over her! She has tortured me without realizing it.

[Asker]

Maybe questions of why she did this don't matter?

[Opinion Owner]

Just let her go, it doesn’t seem like it was a very healthy friendship if it left you feeling that way. It sounds like it’s for the better.

[Asker]

Yeah totally. My mind tells me to talk to her one last time... I fear doing that...

[ameliajp]

just talk to her about it

[Asker]

Why do you guys keep telling me to talk to her about it? We've been friends for 2 years and she rejected me a while ago she wanted to remain friends. I wouldn't talk to her about it because I don't want her to think I'm checking on her Instagram and I found out that she unfollowed me, cause that wouldn't be good. Besides, the last thing I want right now is to give her more attention. I've already given her plenty by asking her why she's acting so distant. It didn't seem like she cared so I backed away. And now this? Fine, I guess it's for the better. I think I'll remove her from Facebook to finish things off if that's what she wants.

[Anonymous]

You poor, indoctrinated feminist

Women are fickle minded, quarrelsome, a peril, cunning and overall evil

[AmourHoney]

Thank you 💖

[gohana12]

Awww I feel bad for you:(

[Huhni]

@gohana yeah I feel bad for him too I mean what did he ever do to her!

[Asker]

@Huhni I think I'm not feeling well. Why am I not stronger? :(

[Huhni]

is this zimber...

[Asker]

@Huhni Shat's zmber?

[Asker]

*What's

[Huhni]

nevermind

[Anonymous]

You mean nothing to her move on

[Asker]

It also seems that everything she said in the past was only to comfort me. She didn't mean it. :(

[Anonymous]

Boo hoo