Girls, is being introverted guy, unattractive to you?

[S19_IRL]

for example, in classroom situations im quiet, but if someone talks to me 1 on 1, i can talk no problem.
however, do you think some girls are less interested by that type of person?

[englisc]

It depends. The number one trait that women find attractive in a man is confidence, and there's a difference between shyness and introversion.

Shy: a fear of negative social judgement, fear of saying the wrong thing
Introvert: a natural tendency to speak less, think more, to find too much socialisation to be draining, to prefer 1-to-1 interactions, to enjoy alone time
Extrovert: a natural tendency to be (or want to be) chatty, to be popular, to have lots of friends, to love being around people and hate being alone

Introversion and extroversion are based on your preferences, natural personality types. Shyness is based on lack of confidence in social situations.

It's possible to be confident and introverted, or shy and extroverted. Imagine those two at a party: the confident introvert is most likely not gonna be talking a whole lot, is probably just chilling, listening and chiming in every now and again if he has something to say. Maybe having a one on one conversation with someone he knows, because he can't be arsed with going around the room speaking to everybody, he's just not interested.

The shy extrovert will be watching everybody else socialise, while sitting back and avoiding talking to people in case he says something stupid. What if they find him boring? What if they laugh at him? He wishes he did have the confidence to go and chat to people, because he wants to.

There's a big difference between those two right? The introvert in general can be attractive to women because even though he isn't super chatty, he's confident and comfortable in his own skin. The shy guy however is only quiet however because he's afraid, which is unattractive.

[S19_IRL]

wow, thanks for the great answer. i get what ur saying. i feel a bit of fear creeped into me but also, i prefer to talk only when spoken to.

[englisc]

Then you most likely lack confidence, so you should probably work on that. Introversion/extroversion can't really be changed because that's all down to the way your brain is wired, but shyness can be.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Interesting. I have never known there is a shy extrovert. Maybe I need more social skills and observe people more.

[englisc]

@el_Te_de_la_Rosa

You might have without realising it. That's probably mainly because when people say "introvert" they think of a quiet shy person, and when they say "extrovert" they think of a confident outgoing person. But introversion and extroversion are really all about preference, little to do with confidence/shyness. If you've ever head a shy person say that they wish they weren't so shy so they could be more social, that's most likely a shy extrovert.

[Joker_]

It's unattractive to them

[S19_IRL]

thought so. thanks for the input!

[Joker_]

You're welcome

[virginbish]

Not unattractive at all, girls notice when you are comfortable and friendly with one person or how you react 1-on-1. The attentive girls at least, and I'm sure as an introvert you would like an attentive girl that picks up on these cues.
Anyhow, it's not unattractive, it sometimes is even a form of attraction as she would like to receive that kind of attention from you if she is intrigued by what you say, do, etc

[AlienParasite]

Some girls are less interested as they prefer extroverted guys the same way some girls prefer introverted guys to extroverted ones. It changes with the person. The only thing most girls generally likes is confidence/assertiveness. But someone can be introverted and confident/assertive at the same time, it's not necessary to love party and talking all the time to be confident.

[S19_IRL]

i think i get what you mean!
i mean if someone really wanted to know you, theyd make the effort, regardless on wether the guy is quiet or not unno?
anyway, thanks!

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

I find introvert people more interesting. In contrast, if a man is very attractive, but is loud and has nothing in his head, I'm not interested.

I am an introvert by the way. (ISTJ)

[S19_IRL]

thanks for your comment. some people say it's lack of confidence not being introvert so i dunno.
what does the istj mean?
and i like your profle photo haha.

[virginbish]

It's part of the 16 personality test, you should take it. It might give you some insight into your personality

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

@virginbish thank you. 😊

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

It's MBTI personality types. You can try online tests for more details. It might help you understand yourself in a deeper level. Basically, there are 8 characters.
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I),
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N),
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
Which side of each pair you tend to be. Anyways, I use the test to see my weaknesses, and improve them. Like an interpersonal skill. Before this my result was INTJ. I would like to be more perceiving.

The profile photo is my homemade cookie. 😁

[virginbish]

I do that too, it's nice to use them to understand your weaknesses and strengths. It also sometimes gives you validation, especially when some people don't understand you and the test explains it inna way that you can start to explain it to others.

I think the 16 personality test is more developed, it's based on the MBTI but I think also uses a different framework and statistical research that further developed it.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

@virginbish True. We all change every single day. I just want to be better, not stamping what I am and doing nothing at all. 😊

by the way, I think the asker's gone though. 😅

[virginbish]

xD I think so too ahah
Either that or he got engrossed in the 16 personality quiz and info ahha

[yuri28]

More confidence = Attractivness.

[S19_IRL]

good point so, you basically have to be the centre of attention the whole, just ain't me pal 2bh haha. you know!

[CoffeeWC]

I'm an introvert as well. :)