Girlfriend 14, Boyfriend 18?

[Adaminé]

What do you think about this relationship?
The girl has just turned 14 and the boy is 17 turning 18.
Back when I was in 7th grade I had a relationship with this boy. He was 17 turning 18 and I was 13 turning 14.
What do you think of this and do you think parents had a right to get involved?

Updates

+1 y

Might I add.
She was very naive and the guy was taking advantage by leading her on.
He'd always deny their relationship when people asked him about her.

[ChurchOfIron]

In some places there is the "3 year rule", "Romeo and Juliet" rule. As in, if the person turns 18, he has a court defense for dating a 15 year old, since they're relatively close in age.

At the same time, it's still illegal. And, anything 14 or below counts as pedophilia. So it wouldn't just be statutory rape, it would be child molestation. Not sure if it counts right at 14. It's usually "below 14," either way, it's close.

The issue is brain development. A 14 year old is not nearly as developed as an 18 year old. Personally, I don't see much of a difference between 16 and 18. But, up to 16, I feel like there's a BIIIIIIG difference. Each year in the lower teens adds a great deal of development. In any case, yeah, that's not cool.

I dated a 15 year old when I was 17. Didn't think anything of it in the moment, but I got some serious shit from my friends, later, calling me an "epibophile". Which is basically a pedophile, but with teenagers. Weird thing would be if we would have stayed together, she would have been 16, and I would have been 18; but, the age of consent in my state is 17, so it would have been illegal. Albeit, I would have had a defense in court.

[LobsterTuesdays]

Very wrong for me, for anything other than friendship and even that would need boundaries. Every year of life from 0 to 16 is exponentially greater in growth of experience and maturity than your later years. The difference between 34 and 38 is nothing. The difference between 14 and 18 is huge unless the 18 year old is socially stunted.

[SueShe]

As long as there is no physical intimacy, there is nothing much wrong about it.

The issue is that at age 18, the testosterone levels are about at their peak and if the guy attempts to have intimate relations and gets caught, he can be sued for pedophilia.

Better be safe than sorry. I would not go for that kind of relation knowing that it is very difficult to master you sexual appetite when it hits you.

Remember, to be on a sexual offender's registry for the rests of the life is not something to joke about. It will seriously impact on the choice of job and place you can live.

And you bet that parents have the right to get involved. I would if I was the parent of the 14 year old girl and I would make sure that I inform her about the dangers and that I will not hesitate to press charges against the boy if he attempts to be intimate with my underage daughter.

[Adaminé]

Completely agree.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Yes you nailed it. It's maturity and responsibility that matters more not the age. It's just there are always people who jumps to conclusions saying he's a creep for it when they had no idea what made them love each other. It doesn't always have to be about the age when they chose each other. That's a proper way to do it. Give them a warning and guidance. Involving the cops should be the last resort if he violate the rules.

[SueShe]

@Aiko_E_Lara Yes, it is the famous "bird and the bees" talk that every parent fears that should highlight the risks of physical intimacy.

I am not saying that parents should punish their kids from doing it. That is vain because it is a natural feeling and need but parents must be responsible enough to warn of the dangers and not prohibit any physical contact.

All parents were young one day or another and were faced with the exact same problems.

[MemeSupreme]

Same way if it was reversed. Someone was likely being taken advantage of I'd assume in a relationship like that because the largest age difference in a successful relationship I've ever seen that lasted longer than a year was some 15 year old boy turning 16 soon and a 18 year old girl in the beginning of it

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Well they met when he was still 17 which is a minor so it shouldn't matter. Just keep physical contacts away. I know someone who's 15 dating a 22 years old but they only chat online and they only meet up when their parents are around. It matters on maturity and self control not the age if that is true love. Can't be quick to judge if he loves her because she's 14 (when they met) They probably love each other not because of the age. It's like letting someone chose over a bratty girl lack of interest who's 18+ over a well mannered 14 year old which their interests matches.

"She was very naive and the guy was taking advantage by leading her on. He'd always deny their relationship when people asked him about her." I don't know if you're really telling the truth but I'm aware that's a red flag. People just love making stories when it comes to that scenario.

[Aphrodite801]

15 dating a 22 year old is creepy and illegal. You should report them. But you would probably did that nasty crap yourself. Disgusting.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Aphrodite801 Now you see there's that one person I'm talking about. That person who makes a straw man argument when they law refereed to sexual activities not the attraction itself.

[Aphrodite801]

Because you’re a weird trashy dude. With a small dick. I can tell you will be a future pedo. You disgust me. I will never communicate with you again. Bye.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

At what point did I said they had sex and hangout alone? They're just attracted to each other. You know you can't control feelings but you can control yourself. You're just ignoring the fact that she won't be 14 forever. How ignorant.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Aphrodite801 You know being offended doesn't prove anything. Calling someone a creep because of your ignorance. Jumping to conclusions so soon. Straw manning about the law. And you don't consider yourself a creep who wants to ruin anyone's life for whatever reason. You're just as bad as actual pedophiles

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Aphrodite801 See? scroll down and you'll see it. This girl gets it. @NicolaD I'm not gonna gonna mention you in her thread because you're to because you won't see it anyways since your fragile ego tells you to block me immediately. Anyways thanks for blocking me. Feels good to be blocked by a creep.

[someginger]

Fuck yes the parents should have gotten involved! If that was any of my sisters and my dad heard about that he would have knocked the living fuck out of that 18 year old! There is a reason age of consent is a thing BC 14 year olds are fucking stupid

[Darkangel27]

It's illegal for one and he is almost legal she's not the parents should get involved he could be in trouble if they try anything

[boggboss]

Stupid but then again that seems to be a want of people these days

[wankiam]

its a bit odd but if its not sexual until its legal then i guess it happens

[wankiam]

@update... thats a very different think and sadly probably happens even more

[slatyb]

Inappropriate, and parents definitely have a right to get involved.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

May I point out that most romantic fantasies from girls include getting taken advantage of while simultaneously "changing" the guy?

Oh wait.. I just did.

[_Jay_]

Oh and then there's the ones that fantasize about getting a girk and actually being nice to them

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@_Jay_

Your point is non-existent

[_Jay_]

I wasn't making a point. Im just joking around most of the time tho for real not everyone is into that dominating shite

[Repa33]

Illegal depending where you live. She is a child who is nit the age of consent. He is an adult.

[humanearth]

In the US thats illegal. The law sometimes looks the other way if he is 18 and she is 17 or vicea versa.

[Rejiu]

Tbh if she was 18 and he was 22 noone would care, it gets less awkward as time goes by.

[HereIbe]

An 18-year-old can give consent. A 14-year-old still has the mind of a child. Put him in jail--then let some really big guys know he's a pedophile.

[Rejiu]

Don‘t get me wrong, it’s definatelly wrong at that age, just stating that the age difference woudn‘t matter at higher ages. So if they were 18 and 22 it would be fine.

[Passinggas]

I recently had a 14yo come on to me. I was nice but no way, I like mt spend my time on the outside. 18 is a close call.

[NicolaD]

If it’s non-sexual fine

[Aphrodite801]

Obviously not good. Her parents obviously don’t know.

[bernie66]

I think her parents should definitely know this.
I think as soon as he is 18 it is against the law

[NEW_YUKI]

Police...

[name_is_eric]

She's a bit too young.

[owens97]

thats really weird

[PondyPand]

Just no.

[Anonymous]

Vice versa and all of a sudden it's fine lmao.

[HereIbe]

Put him in jail.