Girls, Is this girl just playing or is she for real?

[Anonymous]

So girl that goes to my families bar told me she thinks I'm hot and that we should hang out at a karaoke night (said I'm the best one there and her whole family loves it when I go to it). So we did, took her out for a quick bite before and night went great. We got a little buzzed and eventually made out here and there throughout the night and ended up hooking up at her place across the street. She did disclose she was talking to a guy across the state that he's kinda leading her on and she's not going to wait for him right off the bat when we started talking a week before we hung out. I guess said guy is in town for the summer and saw a pic of him and her just hanging out on social media where she added me on everything (including Spotify where we made a joint playlist). We still have plans to hang out but I just want take sure I'm not wasting my time in pursuing a relationship with her or if she's just killing time until this guy makes a move. We really hit things off and have a lot of things in common. I'm terrible at reading what women want unless they flat out say it like she did at first so I could be way off and reading too much into her or is she trying to get me to move?

[Anonymous]

She didn’t say that the out-of-state guy was being too “clingy,” which would suggest that she does not like him anymore; instead, she said that he was “leading her on” which means that she is still interested in him but feels that he is not as interested in her as she is in him. As such, she is looking for a distraction and rebound—ie, you—in case her feelings get hurt by the out-of-state guy which, as you have seen, she jumped to hang out with the second he arrived in town. She’s trying to keep you on the leash and pursue him at the same time.

[Asker]

You're correct. She said that he actually got more distant and would rarely message her back or would be really late if he did. I definitely appreciate that she was upfront about the whole situation before anything happened with her and I and went out. We agreed there was a mutual attraction when we first saw eachother and we kept staring constantly before either of us made a move (I guess a family member of her that qas there told her to do something). As for keeping me in a leash, I can also see that. She seemed really unsure about this guy and said he's going to be in town this summer and that it'll be really awkward with him. I guess I'm just confused on what I should do in this situation and how I should act or ask her next time to are around eachother.

[Opinion Owner]

If she were dead into you, she wouldn’t risk losing you or upsetting you by “hanging out” with another guy she had a thing for.

[Opinion Owner]

Everything depends on how much you are invested in this girl in your heart. She could leave you if out of state guy changes his attitude and then you will be friend zoned. Or she could keep up the pace with you both and essentially have you both as friends with benefits for a while, which I don’t know how you feel about that.

[Asker]

Definitely not a friends with benefits kind if person (anymore) I am fairly into this girl and seems the same way towards me, except for the out of state guy which I wasn't too concerned about or thought of much since her and I were talking the whole week up to us going out and while also out how well things went and played out towards the end of everything. Only got the concern since seeing that on social media and am now second guessing if I should continue talking with or hanging out with her.

[Opinion Owner]

As long as you are present in her life and supportive like you are, she feels safe. She knows she can continue to hang and talk to out of state guy as much or little as she wants and you’ll still be there for her, and it’s easy for her to hide or downplay whatever things she needs to for now. There’s a lot you still don’t know about her. And it’s like, would YOU be doing what she’s doing? Like seeing some other girl and posting pics of you two online while you supposedly love another girl? I think you should tell her you’re not cool with going forward until she permanently cuts the other guy out. I don’t care what she tells you “oh it’s nothing, oh it’s awkward, oh blah blah” — she still has feelings for the guy or she wouldn’t even want to see him. She’s still holding out for him. Don’t be the rebound. You want a girl who is free to love you and only you because she is unencumbered by baggage of any kind.