WWht do women do this?

[Vodkaaaa94]

Im a server, and more often than not when i go up to a table of women or a couple, the girls just seem so... Snooty and unfriendly and kind of fake, even some looking me up and down in a way that makes me feel luke crap. i never understood women who do this , so i want opinions

[bredtaleth]

I cannot say why this happens, as I've never really experienced this myself. One factor that could play in is the way young women can be very catty around each other, and think of each others as competitiors. Young women who spend a lot of effort to dress up and look pretty/sexy often seem to be on the hunt for one thing: attention. This won't necessarily show in most situations, since you have to be civil, and while being competitors, you're still trying to be friends. But many people subconsciously think that it's ok to treat serving staff badly. When someone seems to go out of their way to be nice and polite to you, the way serving staff do, it makes it seem like they are subordinate to you, and therefore you can treat them badly.

This seems particularly compounded in places like USA because the servers mainly work for tips. So, the customer's atittude subconsiously becomes "act the way I want, or your don't get paid". It's a bad power dynamic, which helps erode the respect.

[katiesmuff]

I've worked in the restaurant industry since I was 16 as a hostess and now at 38 managing the place and all I can tell you is you will meet every kind from kind to ignorant human being in this business. Best is to laugh it off with your fellow workers and never let it get to you.

[Vodkaaaa94]

I dont know wrong with me lately but , someone can do the slightest thing that i think is abit rude and it effects me whole day :( think about it a lot and i start thinking is it a me thing. I don't know how to break it lately, I made a mistake with order once and the one girl laughed and it made me embarassed cause it felt like she was kinda making fun

[katiesmuff]

There is not anyone working in this business that hasn't made some mistakes (some very embarrassing) like drop a tray full of food, spill drinks, run a credit card wrong, etc. It is just part of the game and nothing to get worked up about.

[PrettyPriya]

I haven’t the slightest clue why anyone, regardless of gender, would act like this towards a server.

Service staff typical go out of their way to put guests first. To treat them poorly is unnecessary and rude.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for MHG