Has your intimate/sexual experiences been positive with women? Been with any whores or sluts?

[Anonymous]

So, my experiences have all been positive surprisingly.

I’ve had friends who’ve been with awful women (cold, immoral, disgusting, cruel, etc.)

I’ve always thought I was lucky, but looking back at my experiences it’s just that I looked for women in the right places and I knew what I didn’t like and what I liked.

•How a woman dresses is important, although it’s not a surefire indicator of anything.

•Where you meet her is actually very important in my experience (Do you think you’ll meet anyone quality in a strip club? Fuck no)

•How she answers certain questions, specifically around sexuality is important but maybe she’s just shy or likes to keep this private. Either way, you can find this out by talking to her more

•Her friends or the company she keeps is very important. A woman with majority or only men friends? Super red flag in my experience and the experience of my ALL my friends. It’s never been positive with women such as this. There’s something going on here and you can usually find out by talking to the men or the woman IF they’re HONEST.

•Her habits. Does she smoke? Drink? Workout? Lazy shitbag? Says a lot about a PERSON actually.

•How she treats animals.
This is surprisingly a good tell. If she’s cruel or insensitive to animals, in MY experience, she’s not going to be very understanding to you when things get heated or tested.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Some positive and some negative. I don’t shame them if the situation is casual or one time thing. I don’t hold any resentment towards the bad ones because it doesn’t benefit me, you live and you learn

[Asker]

So, I agree with a lot of that.

I think I’m more so characterizing what I’ve seen, heard, and experienced in an OBJECTIVE sense.

I’m sure you can do the same if you were being honest.

I think, you just don’t want to come off as judgmental towards these types of women.

But surely, you can see the negativity, toxicity, objectivity, and depravity that these types of women spew and attract.

If not, is it because you have little to no experience with these types of women?

Or don’t have too many friends who’ve been with and/or experienced these types of women?

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I’ve experienced a lot of casual partners and girlfriends, ( probably too many to be honest ) and I knew a lot of people who were out here doing the same or more.

If someone wants to continue to engage in casual sex or something similar, I don’t automatically assume I know their situation and personality. I have no difficulty being able to point out something that doesn’t make sense, especially if they’re being arrogant.

If someone chooses to walk in a path that I personally wouldn’t do, doesn’t mean I view them as defective or immoral. It’s just a different perspective than me.

[Asker]

Well, you haven’t seen a trend or pattern of negative behaviors associated with this?

I’m sure you haven’t seen the research or other bodies of objective evidence around this issue as well.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

You’re assuming I haven’t, 1) I’m a psychology major so I have understanding of human behavior.
2) I’ve been around people in all walks of life from the party scene to strippers.

If you have a perspective that doesn’t value women who engage in sexual activity outside of the bedroom then that’s perfectly okay, your perspective, you’re entitled to that.

I don’t share that perspective and that’s also perfectly okay.

[Asker]

Well, that’s not my perspective.

Psychologically, surely you know that the women that I’ve described above are doing something very harmful to themselves emotionally, mentally, and physically often times.

I can provide you sources or links if you want.

I understand you want to be judgement-free but I don’t feel like you’re being 100% objective about this behavior.

It’s unhealthy and toxic for women

For men too, but towards women to a greater degree.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

You’re assuming my perspective because I don’t share the ideas and philosophy of you. There are some pros and cons with women or men being sexually active outside of a committed relationship, I can agree with you there that it’s not always positive but as I said before, that’s up to them.

Because I’m not as judgmental as you or someone else doesn’t mean I take lightly either. I see both sides of the coin and all people can do is look at the pros AND the cons and decide for themselves.

[Asker]

Sometimes, people will try to play both sides because they don’t want to label themselves as being in favor of one thing over another.

Neutral, in other words.

I felt like, you were doing this and I was trying to tell you, “hey, based on the research, this behavior is unhealthy generally speaking,” even though we all know people who fit this bill and are good/healthy people.

It’s like smoking.

It’s just bad for you, objectively speaking.
People ought to not do this for a variety of reasons.

But I bet you know some cool and good people who smoke right? Yes

It’s their choice right? Of course

I say all of this to conclude that smoking is objectively bad and people ought to not do this ideally or generally speaking.

I feel like you were kind of avoiding saying this^

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I’m not trying to play both sides or neutral. For one, smoking is completely different and I’m completely against nicotine and tabaco companies, I have been since day one. If someone I know engages in smoking and asked my opinion I will voice it. At the end of the day , they’re a grown adult and that’s your decision.

Regarding to the topic at hand which is conservative perspective to people engaging in casual sex, my perspective is a bit more complex because I have heard multiple perspectives about it and lived it.

Some people who engage in casual sex may have serious benefits from it terms of personal growth, maturity, confidence, compassion, etc etc. Others who have engaged it may have went down paths of poor life decisions, drugs, etc etc which the data you’re referring to is probably pointing at.

I see the multiple layers of this topic which is why i said there isn’t a simple answer. People will have to do the research and decide for themselves. I’m a better man because my experiences have shaped my perspective on life and love by ensuring the path I walk down is genuinely the right one for me, same for others.

[DanaeAdam5]

As a bisexual woman the answer is yes :)

Obviously I have had sex with some women who weren't that good at it but I haven't had any negative experiences.

I have been with women who slept around and even formed relationships with a lot of them.


I don't really care about anyone's body count. As long as they don't go around telling people about their hookups unasked, (which is a huge deal breaker for me) I don't pay any mind to it.

[Asker]

So, that’s quite weird when you think about.

You don’t mind their body count

But you do mind when they talk about it unasked?

So, at its base, you DO care about their body count.

If you didn’t, it wouldn’t bother you either way, if they did or didn’t talk about it.

[DanaeAdam5]

Nah not really. You could be a virgin, have slept with one person or 600. The amount doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not you constantly brag about how many people you have or haven't slept with.

I don't mind a conversation about body counts. Whether they wanna talk about mine or theirs I'm open at it because I don't view it as important.

[Asker]

So, why doesn’t it bother you at all?

To me, it’s a big thing. I know why it bothers me

But why does it not bother you?

[DanaeAdam5]

I'm not really sure. Perhaps it's because I have a high body count as well, however I never really understood why it would be considered a deal breaker.

If I am to be in a relationship with someone I value more information of their relationships and how they ended rather than how many people they slept with.

[Asker]

That’s exactly what I was trying to dig up.

Because you have a high body count as well.

Why do we all have such disgust over psychopaths and serial killers? Because most of us are so detached over them.

Why do you think killers can sympathize with other killers?

Because they’ve also killed.

You get what I’m saying.

I’m not saying what you are or what you’ve done is anything close to serial killing, but I’m sure you understand the comparison I’m making.

[PilotWhoPlays]

Exactly to me body count is a deal breaker cuz I only got 1 body but yeah I don't like thinking about my girlfriend with another boy if that makes sense?

[Asker]

@PilotWhoPlays

Plenty of women who you’d like.

So, you just have to choose them carefully.

[SaoirseS]

I'm a little surprised at some of this, but this question seems directed more towards men.

[Asker]

Surprised? What do you mean? How so?

[SaoirseS]

That you view having a majority of male friends as being a red flag. Sometimes that's just the way it happens. I had a good mix of school friends who are still friends (and will probably will be for life), though a lot of the girls moved away leaving a lot of guy friends still in the area. Moreover, any woman who spends any time in the military, regardless of branch or component, is going to wind up in predominantly male units (or directly supporting them) with men as co-workers and - yes - as guys I'm privileged to call friends. And I'm proud that they consider me a friend, at least friend enough to call when they need help (like getting picked up and taken home after being drunker than seven lords). I know they have my back and they know I have theirs. Adults know how to keep platonic relationships in perspective. Dates and lovers may come and go, but true friendships are likely to last a lifetime and have much more value. My fiance understands it, and those who matter to me understand it. I figured you would as well.

[Asker]

So, glad you mentioned this.

Now, to YOU they may be friends

But them? They view females as either “I’d fuck” or “maybe she has a hotter friend that I’d fuck” category.

Of course, in the military, you’re forced to work together, especially if you’re in a coed environment, it’s out of your decision or choice.

Why do I know this? Well, I’m with a staggering majority of men.

Also, rumors spread that a few soldiers have been sleeping together within the PLT and company.

The dynamics between men and women make platonic friendships near impossible.

This is OKAY.

Why do some think it’s so bad that men and women cannot be platonic friends?

It’s not bad.

You have a partner yes? You love him and he loves you. He finds you to be his best friend and I’m positive you feel the same.

This is what men and women see each other as—more INTIMATE FRIENDS.

So, yes, friends, but friends who have sex.

NOT platonic ones

[SaoirseS]

You're free to think as you wish, and I'm likewise free to disagree. You don't speak for all or most men any more than I speak for all or most women. Sure, I know guys (and some are friends) who freely admit they'd fuck a wood pile if they thought there was a snake in it, but they also know what they value more. Sure, there are shenanigans in the military just as there are in civilian life, including guys having sex with other guys in the barracks (the number of reported male-on-male sexual assaults is pretty surprising).

You may be married to the idea that men and women can't be platonic friends, and the insular nature of the men you're around may influence that, but my experiences and the people I'm around tell me much differently.

[Asker]

But you can’t read their minds

Of course these men will say one thing to you, but will not really mean it.

Especially in a male dominated environment like the military.

I’d say, I work well with the women in my group.

Although, I can’t say our relationship is platonic friendship. I’ve thought intimately about them, as has other men.

So, just that alone means it’s not platonic.

[SaoirseS]

You don't know them or spend any time with them, but I do - on more than a superficial level as long as I've known them. You can only speak for yourself.

[Asker]

So, let me ask you.

What’s so bad about not being platonic friends with men?

Even if you 200% knew it wasn’t platonic, would that affect how you work with them?

[SaoirseS]

I don't entertain hypotheticals, the world is vexing enough as it is.

There's a good reason for the adage "don't shit in your own back yard" or "don't play where you work."

Just because there may be a latent, unspoken desire to make a friendship or work relationship non-platonic doesn't change a thing. Me having an underlying desire to crack some fuckup PVT over the head with a tire tool doesn't make me a murderer now, does it?

[Asker]

Well, no it doesn’t lmao.

But, if someone thinks intimately about you

But doesn’t act on it

Doesn’t matter, it’s not platonic.

[SaoirseS]

Actions matter, thoughts don't.

But if that's your opinion based on your own experiences, you're certainly entitled to it. I'm entitled to mine based on my own, so we'll just have to agree to disagree.

[Asker]

Well, thoughts are still important….

If you think about making love to a person and you feel positive about her/him, even if you don’t do anything..

You still like them.

You don’t see them as just a friend even though your actions are “friendly.”

[SaoirseS]

So having said that, don't frag your Lieutenant.

[Asker]

He fragged himself.

Didn’t know how grenades worked, thought you pull the pin and try to eat it.

This was after we got lost in woods following him.

[SaoirseS]

That's an old one.

Just don't do it, no matter how much you may think about it.

[Asker]

Too late

Already did.

No one cared though because they also didn’t like him.

We all swept it underneath the rug like nothing happened.

[SaoirseS]

So that explains why you're on GAG with no adult supervision lol ;-)

[Asker]

You’ve figured me out.

[SaoirseS]

Too easy ;-)

[exitseven]

Ihave probably dated about 20 girls in my whole life. Many were one timers. I think maybe 5 positive experiences and the rest were bad. A couple were terrible.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[OlderAndWiser]

In my lifetime, I have had three partners who - in retrospect - I would designate as slutty or whorish. The last one was forty years ago. Now I am older and a little bit wiser.

[laurieluvsit]

I think it would have been a better question had you left out the last part.

Why are you judging?

[moviedude714]

So far haven't cum from intercourse yet, I have from oral though

[UrsulaErickson]

Positive, no sluts/whores.

[FunkyMonkee]

No. I'm the slut!!

[jahaims]

Yes and no

[grega239]

Entirely negative