How to recover from expressing your feelings too early?

[Anonymous]

The other day I was too hot headed and just told the woman I like that I wanted to take her on a date before we even had the chance to know each other. She told me she doesn't feel that she's there and is not looking for a relationship. Afterwards I gave her my number and told her that if she is she can call me and that I will be waiting.

When she said that she doesn't think she's there does this just mean that she doesn't know me well enough yet? If so, how do I start over by asking her to start by being friends first and getting to know each other?

Or should I just leave her only and wait for a call that may not happen? Is it possible that she would ever call me back?

[Rkbleezy]

This is a fairly tricky question but here's my best answer.

Run, but seriously, if she isn’t interested in a relationship that means she's just letting things happen as they happen. Which is a very dangerous atmosphere for anyone that wants to have feelings or a relationship.
She has most likely been hurt in the past. And wants to have experiences rather than commitment. And that’s totally okay. there's nothing wrong with it. But, if you want something genuine, i would not pursue.

Also, never wait on a girl. There are many people out there that would be genuinely happy to engage with you. And even more that would love a date. Because a date is how you get to know someone! Don't let someone else dictate your life or waste your time.

This is of course no hate or shade on her. Treat her with respect and understand she's living life how she wants too. But clearly you can see the red flag. So just look elsewhere. Don’t be expecting the call, but if it does happen, do not take things fast. Not everybody is meant to be your girlfriend/boyfriend. If it was easy, we wouldn't be asking these question’s.

[Rkbleezy]

On the alternative, it could be she is either not attracted or hasn't communicated with you enough to feel comfortable going on a date with you. Some girls need more time and commitment shown before they go on a date and that’s totally okay. Just be smart and take your time. Being open is a good thing.

[Asker]

Do you think I should text/talk to her about starting by being friends and see where things go from there or just let things fold out?

[Rkbleezy]

I think you shouldn't even mention being friends. Just be friends. Being friends involves nothing but being friendly and inviting someone and their friends or your friends out to bowl and other activities. Bringing up a conversation about "being friends" will only make it seem like your trying to put a label on something that doesn't need one. It will make her feel like your trying to push something. Don't mention it, just be friendly. What helps me is treating someone like a sister, that way I can think of good boundaries and upfront respect, as well as fun activities that aren't just sitting around and "chilling". Nobody minds sitting around, but it is way more enjoyable to go bowling or rock climbing than sitting around.

[Rkbleezy]

Not all thoughts are ones you use for communication. For instance "I want to be friends" is more of an internal thought than a conversation piece. A better way to do it would be "Hey, A group of some of my friends were going to go bowling, would you and some friends want to come with us? Were thinking about going out on Saturday around 5pm." The difference is, One breeds more thinking, and the other breeds an action or event too occur.

[Asker]

Ok I think I have an idea of what I should do now thank you!

[Jacobbbb]

The answers to your questions are based on whether or not she takes the initiative to call you. People will (sometimes) pull out the "I'm not ready for a relationship" card towards people they aren't interested in as a kind way to reject them without hurting their feelings

[NotTacocaT6969]

Only continue onward if you’re willing to accept the possibility of being friendzoned.


Some women need a real emotional connection before they’ll consider dating a guy.


A guy I worked with asked me out once and it was awkward as hell.


I didn’t know him at all.


I told him I was flattered but that I’d need to get to know him better before I’d consider dating him.


He took it as rejection and walked away before I could give him my number.


We very well could have ended up dating if he had been willing to spend time together first.


But if we didn’t end up dating, we still would have been friends.

[art84]

Sounds like you came on a bit too strong and it caught her off guard.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be in a rush when it comes to relationships.