What were you taught about how to keep a man?

[chris_987]

Most women aren't taught this so they end up with a man that's trying to keep them or doesn't want them

[Stressyalaire]

Mom didn't teach me anything. Self taught by looking at what is wrong with people, toxic relationships, why some relations worked out and some did not. And then looking at what I would like a partner to be for me and trying to match that image.

[chris_987]

What did you learn specifically about the type of man you wanted

[Stressyalaire]

That likeminded people attract. I keep hearing about "opposites attract" but that never made sense to me. Same with playing hard to get, why do you play? This shouldn't be a game. Sure flirting is fun, but keep your goal in mind don't stray from it by sending confusing mixed signals. Because my friends recommended me to "reply tomorrow", stuff like that. I never followed it because I don't understand it. And I still don't. That fighting can't be avoided, but the way it is done can be altered. I was so used to getting yelled at, cursed, that I was surprised that I could just talk with him at a normal tone and we would Talk. It. Out. The first few times I was surprised that was that it, questioning if this was normal behavior. Guys can be very sweet and emotional with you, but they won't show that side to his friends, it's something only I get to see.

[Stressyalaire]

GOMENASORRY for the lack of structure, I'm rambling.

[chris_987]

It's true, one thing girls don't realize about men is they have the powers to change men, inadvertly not really objectively. Like you for instance If you don't play games then there isn't any need to feel like the other guy has to play games too, so being straightforward with your intentions and not of being afraid to be vulnerable, will make the guy act in kind. A lot of girls mess up because they feel like they have to manipulate a guy into getting what they want and that's only going to make them resent her even more.

[chris_987]

But I'm curious when a guy talks to you and you like him. How do you proceed from there? Do you wait for him to ask you out or if nothing happens then you just move on with your life?

[Stressyalaire]

I don't say the words, but the more comfortable I get around you the more physical I get. I just feel safe around you so I'll be grabbing your arm, sit on your lap, cuddle, selfies will have our cheeks squished together, I'll be soft speaking in your ear, it will be impossible for you not to get the hint. I'll actively reach out to you to talk to do stuff together.

[chris_987]

Well you're describing what most girls would never do in a million years, It's so simple but yet girls fail so hard at it. But even though you are never taught it, you still figured it out. I wonder how you did that?

[Stressyalaire]

Like I said! I observed failures and only did what made sense to me or was comfortable!

[Stressyalaire]

Maybe it's because I didn't watch too many romance movies. Maybe that genre teaches people the wrong ways. I watched horror and I always looked at the mistakes the victims in the movie would make and how I would escape or how I would catch the victim from the killer's Point of View. Maybe that is the secret?

[chris_987]

Well I guess women wanted to be dominated by men but it's would be shameful for them to say it, so they annoy me and play games hoping it would lead to men dominating them, but the whole thing blew up in there face and men just walked away from women like that.

[chris_987]

Where as you are just submissive and helpful from the jump so men want to give you what ever you want. That's very wise of you to learn from the mistakes of others.

[LazerBean]

Pick a good man to start with and be the woman he deserves.

[chris_987]

Ok but a lot of women don't pick good men, so I don't think they would be able to do the first part much less the second part

[LazerBean]

I agree

[chris_987]

So all your life you've only picked good men?

[LazerBean]

Yes.

[chris_987]

You need to teach these girls how to pick Better

[LazerBean]

That's a parents job.

[chris_987]

Most parents stay out of the kids dating lives especially in the west

[suzzieQ]

Pick a good one. That’s why so many men are single these days.

[chris_987]

Lol I was unaware that 15 year olds were trying to get married

[suzzieQ]

I was unaware that you really meant marriage when you said keep.

A more apt question would be, why aren't so many men taught how to be the kind of man a woman would want to keep.

[chris_987]

Women generally want a man to protect and provide, what can a 15 year old boy protect you from, and what can be provided to you?

[suzzieQ]

I dont pick partners based on what I can get from them. I want a partner, not a walking wallet or a bodyguard.

I can protect myself and provide for myself, I dont need a boyfriend to do it for me. Men have their hands full protecting themselves as it is, they the victims of more violent crimes than women are anyways lol

[Anonymous]

You don’t own people. When you realize that and stop trying they naturally want to stay.

[chris_987]

Ok so when you treat them like your not needy, what do they get in return? It just sounds like there getting a girl who doesn't care if they live or die

[Opinion Owner]

That isn’t what I said. Owning is making claim to attempt to change them. It has nothing to do with making a person feel wanted.

[chris_987]

So who do you make a person fell wanted but also make them feel like you don't own them

[Opinion Owner]

By doing thoughtful things, and allowing them space when they need it. Respecting their privacy. Not to say be a push over. Far from it. It has to be back and forth. Cause when you give it you are far lore likely to get it back. Unless someone is screwed up already most people want to be happy in their relationships. I think so anyway.

[chris_987]

So would you ever do something to convince someone to like you? Like if they never noticed you, would you go out of your way to be over sexual or flirty with them?