My sister always acts like I am complaining when I'm actually not?

[Anonymous]

I never complain or talk about my problems. I just don't get her why she always acts like that. I feel accused around her all the time. I mean like I will talk about general things like if I had a tiring day, a long rough day or something she acts like I'm complaining. And sometimes I get really offended by this cause I don't mean anything by it and if I say something about this she comes off with insulting words.

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

oh wow I hate it when people do that! if it were me I'd just be firm and tell her that she knows I'm not complaining, so why is she holding me to such a high standard? its ok to express how you feel, so she should chill.

[goaded]

If you're not implying she should have done something because you were so busy, I don't see her problem. Were you?

[Asker]

What?

[goaded]

Did you imply she should have done some chore you don't want to because you had "had a tiring day, a long rough day"?

[Asker]

No i didn't ask her to do anything for me.

[goaded]

That's not quite what I asked. If, for example, something isn't where you think it should be, asking your sister where it is is an accusation that she should have put it back properly, do you see?

[Asker]

I wouldn't accuse anyone if they didn't put something back properly.

[goaded]

I'm not talking about what you intend by what you say, but how the other person interprets it. Some people take "where's the remote?" to mean "why didn't you put the remote back?".

[Asker]

Yeah she acts like that...

[goaded]

Maybe you could try a different phrasing, like "have you seen the remote?", or just look for it yourself before asking. That might help.

[Asker]

I don't know but I just try to avoid such interactions from her

[goaded]

I'm sorry, but this has been bothering me. I'm 99% sure this is you, not her. Do you ever do something to show her what should be done? Do you insist on something being done the right way, and not her way? Can you explain what makes your way right, and hers wrong?

[Asker]

I don't insist anything on anyone and I'm not a controlling type of person.