How much time between when she sends the text to when I open it is good?

[Anonymous]

Like I don't want to seem clingy or like I don't have a life or anything. Like when we were at a party she seemed to really like me whether as friends or more. She plans to get together to hit the club with me when I turn 21 (I will be 21 in August), so I don't think she doesn't want to link up. But she texts back after a whole day and I respond after a few hours. To me, the only reason I don't text back is if my notifications are off on snap, busy with work or family, or my phone isn't on me because I am playing basketball or something but I usually text back within 10-15 minutes at most.

[ManOnFire]

It really depends on what the text is and how much you really like the girl. If she's asking you something, especially about what you want to do, where you like to go, etc. you don't want to wait too long to text back because it can seem like you're ghosting or not really interested if you take hours to get back to her.

When it's a woman I'm into, I try to wait a little bit to respond for the same reasons you noted, not wanting to look clingy or as if you have nothing else going on or no one else to talk to so you respond to her in a snap. Depending on what the text is about I will maybe wait somewhere between 30 mins. to an hour. But don't keep her waiting for half the day unless you seriously are busy and just can't really respond.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Text her whenever you damm well feel like it man. Quit playing games, or find a girl who actually wants to talk to you.
I like texting, so usually do it the second I'm able to.
Men need to stop trying to mirror a woman's shitty behavior and start setting an example. If she likes you, she'll follow suit. If not then she's a cunt

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lastly, if you're only gonna say 3 things to eachother over the span of two days, then wtf is the point?
That's 2 whole days you could've spent sealing the deal with another chick. A better one

[Asker]

Like I texted her the morning after the party like it was a friend text nothing crazy it was a meme because that’s what I do lol. But we texted like 6-7 times within 3 days and she even responded to my Snapchat story but yeah I should probably just focus on myself If not getting any girls. But I agree with what you said about men mirroring the woman’s behavior, all I ever hear from guys is girls like this, girls like that, don’t do this with a girl because blah blah blah. Like I’m a person too and so do I not care about the girl if I never text I’m never gonna get any girl because girls aren’t magnets where they come to me with me being a statue

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You're exactly right man. And you're not doing anything wrong, she is.
I think you'll find you have more luck with girls when you're in your mid to late 20s. They do tend to grow out of that shit.
Not all, but most

[kylee2437]

It sounds like inconsistency. Sounds like she’s keeping in touch to be nice , but there’s no urgency to actually hang and get to know each other. If you are interested in her, I would recommend not using a long term club hang out as a way and try and pull her. Major turn off for a man to wait around for unenthusiastic plans

[ManOnFire]

He said SHE plans to hit the club with him.

[kylee2437]

@ManOnFire correct but that sounds like a cop out in results to lack of urgency. He is better off shooting his shot and making more realistic plans that can be made sooner or move on.

[Asker]

Like the thing is I like her but she is the daughter of my work friend (she is 21). Like anyway I go about it might cause some unwanted drama. the co-worker friend does seem to really like me and thinks I am a good guy but dating his daughter is a little bit bigger. Now he said when she goes to the club she brings her girl friends with too so I was thinking I could try to talk to them or something. I just don't want to be a fly that's being annoying and not getting the hint you know. even if I send texts to be friends it seems she knows I like her which I have never said to her

[kylee2437]

@asker I don’t think it’s a good idea to try and be apart of her friend group when your actual interest is her. She merely stuck you in the friend zone by insinuating plans that are two months away. If you have more intentions to date her, either shoot your shot or move on. If you think it will create drama in some sort of way, even more reason to not consider pretending to wanting to be just friends with her

[ManOnFire]

@kylee2437 Yeah. But if she really had no intentions of doing anything or even wanting to stay connected she most likely would've ghosted by now and not bother texting at all even if it is a day later. Girls will just ghost when they've lost interest, if they ever had it at all. And if it was friendzoning she would only do it if there's some benefit in it for her. If a girl can't use a guy for something, she's generally not going to bother even friendzoning.

[kylee2437]

@ManOnFire I disagree. There’s a bunch of different reasons why women stay in touch with men they aren’t interested in, I mean he even said that she’s a co workers daughter so she may feel obligated to answer to be nice. Lack of urgency is a huge sign of disinterest. Her taking a day to get back to him is not an action a girl that is interested would do.

[kylee2437]

And it’s not her “losing interest” it’s her not being interested in that kind of way from the beginning. Two months is long enough for plans to fall through.

[ManOnFire]

@kylee2437 As far her only responding because she's a co-worker's daughter, you could be right about that. But most women only stay in touch with a guy that they've friendzoned if there is some kind of benefit in it for her, some use they have for him. If not, they will usually just stop talking.

[kylee2437]

@ManOnFire either way, lack of urgency means lack of interest. Trust me. Current guy I’m talking to , we planned to go somewhere 3 months in advanced but we still met up way before because there was interest in mind. She accepted a 2 month away plan because it leaves room for 1. Being a forgotten plan 2. A causal plan where she can most likely just say hi to him at the club and nothing more

[Asker]

Ok ok so yesterday at work I was talking to the dad because we cool and we work together and we talk all the time. But… he said she’s serious about taking me to the club and was trying to set a date to do it with me. Also said I made her laugh a lot when texting so maybe she’s just not a big texter. But I’ll just coast with this and see if she puts any real effort to get a closer relationship with me. But her dad told me she and her friend said they really liked me and like how respectful I was and like my energy but they talked about me a lot after I left according to the dad

[Asker]

I still really like her but I’ll keep in mind we’re just friends for now

[kylee2437]

@asker my biggest suggestion is to go to her for this info , don’t go to her father. She knows herself more than her father

[slatyb]

Never worry about that sort of trivia. Courtship is not some complex game with bizarre rules to be learned and followed. Respond when it's convenient. Feel free to say "I don't pay much attention to my phone when I'm working/attending classes/whatever. I check it at lunch if I remember, and sometime in the evening."

If she wants to text with you all day, then she has no life and is not a good prospect.

[Jadebamboo]

Dont think about it. Open when you see it. But that also assumes you aren't going to go out of your way to check your phone.

[Asker]

I’m usually the type of person when I get a text other than when I’m driving I’ll text back. Like I get a I forget the chemical brain thing but a mood booster whenever I get a text. But I’m just gonna leave her on delivered until she texts again I’m tired of trying to portray the perfect guy for girls when I know I’m good the way I am.