How long should I wait for her to text me?

[Anonymous]

Hi all.. I started talking to someone new last Tuesday and have been talking every day since I went on a date with her on Saturday & it went well.. we agreed to go on a second date but didn’t make any plans.. she hasn’t initiated any contact with me since.. I sent a goodnight message Sunday and she replied.. my question is how long do I wait for her to text me first or do I keep sending the msgs first? Thanks 🙏

[PrettyPriya]

Being that it is the week, I would wait a bit to send another message. Seeing as how you are both new to this dating relationship, you probably don’t know her routine. By routine, I mean what her typical week is like. Sure, you texted all week leading up to the date, but there was likely a lot of excitement that caused that.

There is no harm in waiting a little bit to see if she texts you back. She could be busy with the workweek and just didn’t have time to text yet. She may be the type of person that is up early, to work and then perhaps works out at the gym, gets home and has things to do there, etc.

Don’t overthink it. You also have to remember that some people are just not into texting much. I find this mostly with guys but some girls just don’t like texting. If the date went well and you talked about a second, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

I would say Wednesday or Thursday (if you haven’t heard anything) you can send a text just saying something like “Hey, I really enjoyed our date and look forward to the next. Do you have any plans this upcoming weekend?”. See what comes back. Best of luck to you.

[Boogie_01]

Don’t listen to her ^ just hit her up because some other guy will if you don’t

[PrettyPriya]

Wow, you don’t understand girls.

[Asker]

Thank you for the helpful reply.. I will hold off a day or two to see if she does text.. I don’t want to be over the top and always texting her as that will come across weird.. I do rush into things previously and I don’t want to this time as she is a really nice girl.. thanks again & I will update if I hear anything!

[PrettyPriya]

@asker Exactly. You are doing the right thing by not smothering her. She could be very busy or who knows what is going on. You are both new to each other so no sense in being pushy.

Take it from a girl’s perspective that has been through this. You are good my friend. You scored a second date and no need to worry. Glad you met a nice girl and hope things go well for you!

I will most certainly look forward to an update! I hope it is a good one. 🙂

[Boogie_01]

Yes I do

[Asker]

@Boogie_01 I think everyone is different and not one situation fits all… in my case I think that there is a element of trust that we’re both not dating other people and I’d like to think that she is not talking to other men which she is entitled too of course.. if other men do hit her up then I’d like to think she would tell me or at least let me down.. I may be nieve in my thinking..

[Boogie_01]

Aight bro good luck

[PrettyPriya]

That is the correct way to approach it. There should be trust until there is a reason not to trust. You should never assume she is stringing you and other guys along at the same time. That is a bad assumption and something most girls don’t do.

It is hard enough to keep up with dating one guy, let alone two or three at one time. Most girls aren’t into that. They want to get to know you and then we decide if we want to take it further. That can take a few dates.

Again, I think the asker is taking the right approach here.

[PrettyPriya]

The irony…. the single guy giving advice over the girl. Priceless.

[Agape93]

Ah when the guy named boogie tries to give some shit advice as if it's some great wisdom. Ignore him, asker. Just be patient

[Boogie_01]

Okay you gave him your advice but why string me back in? I’m off of this please don’t be toxic and have a great day

[Asker]

thanks prettypriya.. i have a good idea that she is not that type of person and I’d like to think that she thinks the same of me.. she is not my usual type but strangely the first date went really well and maybe it’s what I need instead of mistakes 😅

[Boogie_01]

I’m not single

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome asker. Just so you are aware, the other blue account with the terrible advice just sent the following DM to me before he abandoned his account:

“I’m gonna pray that you get cancer and lose all of your hair and suffer“

That isn’t someone I would take any sort of advice from.

[Agape93]

Imagine being so lowly that you'd wish cancer on someone

[Asker]

@prettypriya I’m very sorry he sent such a vulgar message like that to you!! Please accept my apology!! Everyone is entitled to there opinion and it’s up to me to make my own choice but I appreciate all the advice.. I hope a moderator can see this and possibly ban the associated email address.. there is no place for msgs like that, it’s very petty!!!

[Asker]

@Agape93 it’s disgusting tbh.. I do apologize @prettypriya I didn’t want this thread to cause any problems!

[Asker]

@Agape93 thanks!

[Agape93]

Anytime man

[PrettyPriya]

No worries. Not your fault. He just couldn’t take that his advice wasn’t accepted. As a mod, if I see him again, I’ll freeze his account.

[Agape93]

Just give it some time man. People have shit to do and it's not always going to revolve around you and you're not entitled to know what's going on. She could be working a lot, she could be doing college classes. She could be doing any number of things.

Hell my girl is awful at texting people back, always has been. I have messages on here I haven't read in over a week because I have shit going on.

Just be patient.

[Asker]

Thanks @agape93 I am not patient but I’m trying my best to be.. I guess time wasn’t built in a day!! I do find it hard to trust because of bad previous relationships.. thanks for your advice!

[Guy13]

She may think you ghosted if last Tuesday was last text. I would text her and ask if you may call her. When I got her so she can hear my voice, I would ask her out. Calling is serious and more intimate. Good Luck !!

[Asker]

thanks for the reply!! I think you may have misread my post.. I started talking to her last Tuesday and we went on a date Saturday and said we should meet again. But should I always initiate contact or wait for her to text first? I agree tho that contact over the phone would be better than just texting!!

[Guy13]

You sound like you've go this under control and in hand... Ultimately, you are an action guys... I don't care what the media says etc-girls like and respect that. Consistency too goes a long way !! It will not be long before she continually expects more of you than other men... that's good to me. FLOWERS ;-)

[ArrowheadSW]

I would say to send occasional messages. A lot of women don't like to send the first message. Just don't flood her with messages of course, but it doesn't sound like you'd do that anyway. LOL

[Asker]

Thanks arrowhead.. I have been tempted!! Don’t get me wrong, I do like to text her and chat about our day but I don’t want to bombard her either and come across in the wrong way as that may push her away.. but at the same time it would be nice for a text from her without initiating it myself.. i do find it hard to meet new people because I can be too much too soon..

[ArrowheadSW]

How did the date go on Saturday night?

[Asker]

@arrowhead.. the date went well, we were both abit nervous but we met for coffee and ending up chatting for about 3 hrs about each other... then we hugged and said bye.. I texted her later on saying it was lovely to meet her and asked if we could do it again.. she said yes she would like to meet again and we left it at that..

[Iron_Man]

Just text her today and set up a date for this weekend

[Asker]

Thanks for reply.. I will do that! Does that make me look like I’m desperate if I’m always texting first? It would be nice to hear from her without texting first? I am a over thinker 😬

[Iron_Man]

It’s ok you care it’s fine

[Boogie_01]

Text her and ask to FaceTime or call And then meet in person