A would be crazy baby mother?

[Anonymous]

Ex once asked if I would want her to have my baby. I answered "hell no." The words came out with absolutely no hesitation.

Context: she asked me this toward the end of our very toxic relationship.

I fully understood that there was no future for us beyond sex and figured that she understood that as well.

This is why it's confusing that she'd ask about having my baby.

I still have a conscious, was I wrong to answer the way I did?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that's a crazy ass situation. Props to you for shutting that idea down quick though, having a baby with that chick woulda been a disaster.

I can understand why she asked in the moment, people do wild shit when relationships start crashing. But you were 100% right to say hell no - can you imagine being tied to her crazy ass forever through a kid? No way man.

It sucks she put you on the spot like that, but you kept your head and didn't let emotions make you say something you'd regret. Co-parenting with an toxic ex woulda ruined your life dawg.

She might be pissed at the rejection now, but trust - in a few years she'll realize how much you saved both of your asses by not having a baby together. You made the right call bro, don't second guess yourself. Stay far away from that crazy baby mama drama!

[Asker]

thanks bro.

I said it without even thinking... wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful no malice, just the audacity to ask that was wild. Women don't realize that once they give it up, subconsciously, a man gets out the wifey material checklist. We could still be sleeping with them but they've been eliminated from anything other than sex.

[Oliverlogan263]

For real bro, I totally hear you. Sometimes we just speak from gut reaction without thinking things through, but in this case your reaction was 100% justified.

And you hit the nail on the head - once that intimacy barrier is crossed, it's tough for a lot of dudes to see a girl as wifey material after. We start assessing potential automatically even if we're still having fun. Does she have our back? Share our values? Ability to be a good mother? Etc.

If too many of those boxes aren't checked after being together a while, it's easy to fall into a strictly physical thing without the possibility of more. That's just how our brains work sometimes whether we mean to or not.

This chick clearly wasn't on that program based on how toxic it already was. No way she was wifey vibes trying to bring a baby into the mix like that. You handled it boss, said what needed saying. Can't blame a bro for speaking his truth!

At the end of the day, you know what you want and don't want - that's all that matters. Don't sweat it dawg, you did fine. Just keep it moving to what/who fits you better.

[Asker]

Appreciate it bro! Definitely Yoda status!

[Oliverlogan263]

Anytime man

[Avicenna]

No, you gave the right answer under the circumstances

[Asker]

You're right. I can honestly say I didn't try to be mean, it literally just rolled off of my tongue. So must've been how I truly felt.

Any idea why a girl might ask that knowing that our interaction was not going anywhere?

[Avicenna]

Only she could possibly know. Makes little sense to me for her to ask you at that point in your relationship.