Would you be with someone who only wanted a common law marriage to you?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend wants to get married. And I told her if we'd met 30 years ago that'd be a definite possibility. But I simply have too much to lose asset wise now and she's simply too big of a risk. Why is she mad about this? Doesn't she get if she has substantial assets this protects her to?

[Zestyassmf1997]

I think it’s a cynical outlook on your relationship. Personally, I wouldn’t mind. Because I’m a cynical person.

[Asker]

I agree. But at some point in life you have to be a realist. I told her if separation of assets worked differently my attitude would be different.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I dunno. I think you both have a point. You’re right to be cynical. She’s right to be a little upset. Ultimately it’s your stuff, and she’s just gonna have to accept that.

[Asker]

That's what I say. I love her but I can only give her what I'm able to give her. She's got accept that if she wants to be with me. And I'll understand if she don't. It'll make me sad, but it isn't going to change.

[msc545]

No, I don't want to be with anyone who wants any form of marriage with me.

[msc545]

Dump her. She is there for the money.

[Asker]

Well I'm not going to dump her but I'm not going to marry her. I do believe she's attracted to my livelihood, most women are. There's nothing objectionable than that. I have no problem taking care of her. But it's mine, not ours. If she had built it with me it'd be ours, but she didn't.

[msc545]

Why run the risk? She will either find a way to get what she wants from you, or she will cheat on you and get it from another guy.

[msc545]

Also, if you live in the US - if you wind up in court with her over this, you will almost surely lose. The courts here are completely biased against men.

[LadyKitty]

Perhaps she feels like you don't trust her? Prenups are a thing though.

[Asker]

I know she doesn't but that's not true. I don't trust anyone. It's not personal. And as far as prenups any lawyer will tell you no prenuptial is ironclad. Believe me, if it was as simple as being able to agree on a separation sum I'd definitely talk about it.

[LadyKitty]

Well thats the thing isn't it, Relationships are about trust. I hate say it but if you desire to not get married but she is desiring it then that is a clash of interests and it may be important to her to get married. I'd suggest talking to her about it.

[LazerBean]

Yes, but not if he had the same reasons you have.