How do I make my girlfriend love herself?

[Anonymous]

me and my girlfriend are on a break right now and we’re on the edge of breaking up because she doesn't love herself. she thinks i deserve someone better than her because she thinks of herself as a horrible person. she's never done anything bad to me besides a couple mistakes that we easily fixed and i’ve reassured her over and over that she's not a bad person. we’re still together but we’re taking a break from relationship stuff to fix our own issues and hers is the biggest problem. I've told her to ask her friends if she's a horrible person but she hasn't done it because she thinks their lying to her. I've tried everything i can to make her love herself but nothings working. i just wanna how do i make her love herself so we dont keep having these problems?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey man, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with. It can't be easy watching your girlfriend struggle so much with her self-esteem and not feeling good enough. I can understand why that would be putting a strain on your relationship.

The thing is, you can't really make someone love themselves - that has to come from within. As much as you want to help her, the only person who can truly change how she sees herself is your girlfriend. All you can do is be there to support her and encourage her as she works on that.

Some suggestions that may help:

- Encourage her to seek professional help, like a counselor or therapist, to work through these feelings of low self-worth. An outside perspective can make a big difference.

- Suggest she starts practicing more self-care - things like journaling, meditation, exercising. Activities that help build her self-confidence.

- Compliment her sincerely, but don't go overboard. Bombarding her with praise may feel forced. Focus on specific things you genuinely admire about her.

- Remind her that you care about her and think she's amazing, but don't make it all about you. This is her journey to go on.

- Set boundaries if her self-doubt starts negatively impacting the relationship. You can be supportive, but you can't force her to love herself.

Ultimately, this is going to take time and consistent effort from her. Your role is to be patient, understanding and uplift her when you can. But she has to be willing to put in the work too. Don't lose hope, but also don't sacrifice your own wellbeing in the process. You both deserve to be happy.

I hope you two are able to work through this. Just keep being the best partner you can be, and encourage her to seek the help she needs. Wishing you the very best, man.

[Staximus]

It probably stems from her childhood and one of her parents treating her like shit, so she needs to see a therapist to help her work past these issues because she is obviously not taking your word for it

[Asker]

her parents do treat her bad and are really strict with her. her mom doesn't care about her and her dads an alcoholic. everytime we would call i would hear her parents yelling in the background and there's even been times where she's crying because of something her parents did/said and i always help her get through that but it keeps happening and lately she started running away and trying to hurt herself and when i try to talk to her about it she doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. I've talked to her friends to talk to her and make her feel good about herself rathen than say awful things about herself. and she tried to harm herself 2 days ago and then she ran away again and her parents were talking about sending her to a mental hospital or to a military school. I've been in and out of mental hospitals and i dont want her to get sent there because i won't make things better once she gets out in the free world again

[petitedollbabee]

You can’t make someone love themselves. They have to put in the work and realise their self worth on their own terms. Rather than having a break, just end things. A relationship with someone who does nothing but think negatively of themselves and pities themselves gets old really fast. You get tired of the constant reassuring them and trying to make them feel good, it sucks away your energy. You deserve to be with someone better than that, and you’ll only make yourself feel worse by carrying on the cycle with her.

[Little_Bumblebee]

It's not something you can do, other than be there for her, reassure her and talk with her.
But it's a fight she has to take for herself.

A professional would be really good to talk with her.

[Asker]

her parents do treat her bad and are really strict with her. her mom doesn't care about her and her dads an alcoholic. everytime we would call i would hear her parents yelling in the background and there's even been times where she's crying because of something her parents did/said and i always help her get through that but it keeps happening and lately she started running away and trying to hurt herself and when i try to talk to her about it she doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. I've talked to her friends to talk to her and make her feel good about herself rathen than say awful things about herself.

[Asker]

and she tried to harm herself 2 days ago and then she ran away again and her parents were talking about sending her to a mental hospital or to a military school. I've been in and out of mental hospitals and i dont want her to get sent there because i won't make things better once she gets out in the free world again

[Little_Bumblebee]

Esh, that sounds like a very heavy situation.

Yeah, definitely I would say she needs to talk with a professional - and when she's old enough and capable get away from her parents.

[Asker]

we have talked about that and she wants to leave as soon as she finishes school. her parents made her break up with me at one point but we got back together after a day without them knowing. she really really wants to get far away from them as possible 😔

[seeyounexttuesday]

You can't fix her. This is something she needs to work through.

[jahaims]

You can't make someone love