How to not feel bad about yourself when a man mistreated you, downed you and left you for a trans?

[Chelsdope0]

I feel like less of a woman and not good enough at all… it’s all I think and talk about. Trying to let him go

[bowenw]

Try not to blame yourself for his preferences that have nothing to do with you. At least he realized it so you can move on.

[Chelsdope0]

He didn’t tell me… and he already knew it was his preference… and he said he liked me and though I would be open to something serious

If he likes trans women fine but he did nothing but emotionally scar me and make me feel insecure. I was considerate of his feelings in the beginning and I feel like he did nothing but make me feel safe to unsafe

He made me feel like he wanted something more to making me feel like nothing…. Move on to who? Lmaooo you think I feel good enough to move on to someone else knowing that I’m that disposable?

[bowenw]

It will take time to heal from how he mistreated you. He never should have deceived you. That was a terrible thing to do.

[Chelsdope0]

It’s been a year… and he does not understand the damage.

[bowenw]

That is a fairly long time, but there are no rules about how long it takes to get over a painful experience, like a break-up or a death. Don't hesitate to seek out counseling to help you deal with it.

[leahzrc]

If they are leaving you for a trans, they have demons or they are on the queer side. Nothing wrong with you. The transgender people have different mindsets.

[Chelsdope0]

And that’s fine… but not being transparent about it and hurting me, disrespecting me and my boundaries in the process. If you don’t know your sexuality fine but don’t use me as collateral until you find it.. especially when you presented yourself as masculine and telling me you’re looking for something serious

[leahzrc]

I dated a gay guy once, he came out as transgender to me. He told me he was gay while he was dating me. It was confusing. They date girls to appeal to the types of men they want or be more like them. It's a game for them.

[Chelsdope0]

I guess so but it is hurtful… and I believed he was genuine because he is 10 years older… he’s 37

I would have been understanding because I did like him and cared about how I made him feel… it hurt I didn’t get that in return

He’s the one who was emotionally healing me by saying “ I can understand if you dealt with certain people but you shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sins “ or “what’s the safest way to talk to you “

[leahzrc]

I just got out of an 11 year age gap relationship just last week. He was just using me until he didn't need me anymore. He dated me to boost his ego because he pulled a 20 something. They know what to say because they are older and wiser, even if they are childish, the age gap is a power submission. They know how to manipulate people to get what they want. He doesn't even believe his own advice. They are hypocrites. It's all to have power over your emotions and control over you. The narcissist lets go when they have no use out of you. Now he will use the transgender until there is nothing left, and do the same cycle.

[Chelsdope0]

Omg… I’m sorry.😞

I feel sooo stupid… what he did was sooo narcissistic. I think he’s paying for what he did because he’s struggling with workplace bullying as a software engineer.

But this is the worst pain… didn’t realize this is common.

[Nikki1989]

I don't see what being trans has to do with anything here. I would just get over it and move on.

[Chelsdope0]

Yeah it has a lot to do with it. I’m very phobic so don’t try me. 😁

[SquishyBuns2628]

Ohhh ok I see so let me see let you know @Nikki1989. So yesterday Chelsdope0 asked a question the other day and I typed out a long heart felt opinion on how she she put energy into herself instead of worrying about a man or men who only care for her outer appearances.

So basically the guy she was talking to or with left her for her cousin who just so happened to be trans. Now I'm not homophobic and I rock with the LGBTQIA+ community and I respect whatever pronoun a person tells me they'd like to be because respect goes both ways.

[Chelsdope0]

@SquishyBuns2628 girl okay AND?

Next.

I promise you I didn’t read what you said.

[Chelsdope0]

@SquishyBuns2628 he didn’t leave me for my cousin but I think he’s attracted to her

[SquishyBuns2628]

@Chelsdope0 chillax. People are legit trying to help you and me being a girs girl, but you're being super rude. Honestly if that's your attitude, I can see why you have issues with men leaving you.

I stand by what I said in my opinion to your question from the other day too.

No need to chase behind men that are only focused on your outward appearance. Just focus on yourself and treat yourself and the right person for your will come along. No need to get fiesty/rude.

[SquishyBuns2628]

@Chelsdope0 and if you didn't read what I said does that only mean you just wanted the validation of only men on the post? If so to save yourself the trouble of another woman trying help you and give you valid advice; post the question and restrict to just men next time if that's the kind of vibes you're on.

Good luck with your relationship life.

[Chelsdope0]

@SquishyBuns2628 I don’t think you understand how it would feel to be left for a woman with a penis. I actually hope it happens to you so that you can understand and maybe offer better advice vs telling me to show respect for lgbtq communities

Men should be transparent and I had the right to know that he’s bi or likes transgender women. I could care less what anyone feels.

[SquishyBuns2628]

@Chelsdop0 I wish you the best, but I also full force rebuke the negative energy you throw my way.

One thing about negative energy is that it always goes back around to the castor; so be careful what you say to others 🤭

[Chelsdope0]

@SquishyBuns2628 it’s already happened so what’s your point

[SquishyBuns2628]

@Chelsdope0 at this point, like I said before, take a break from relationships, go to therapy, and work on self care. Plus, being homophobic in the mix won't help you much.

I get the guy should have told you but taking it out on your cousin being trans is a crazy stretch when you should just be mad at the guy.

Being a negative nancy to others while ur in pain won't help you much. It's like ur a scared dog that bites everyone.

[Chelsdope0]

@SquishyBuns2628 scared of what?

[SquishyBuns2628]

@Chelsdope0 It's a metaphor for people who are reactive/receptive to negative outwardly factors and not positive ones. Hence, this therapy would be a great way to talk to someone to let your voice be heard in a setting of non judgment.

[oldpigg]

The truth is that this is something extremely humiliating for anyone.

[Chelsdope0]

Yeah… definitely

[shortpantsmikey]

Look at this as a win, unless you actually like being mistreated ( which does happen for a variety of reasons) you should feel grateful he is out of your life.

[Chelsdope0]

Ikr… I don’t understand why I feel the complete opposite

[ehatsham_hussain]

It's all are just a part of life, move ahead in life,,, more better will you find

[Chelsdope0]

Right because it’s so easy to love yourself when you were left for a transgender woman

[Jennz6]

I’ve been mistreated a lot but never left for trans, I don’t even know what that means?