Guys, please provide examples of when a woman tried to “change” you…?

[DreamCrescent]

Oftentimes (and on here) I hear the complaint that women try to change women. Like how? She asks you to make a habit of putting your dirty socks in a hamper instead of on the floor? Or what kinds of unreasonable demands are made of you?

[OneViewpoint]

Oh crap how much time have you got. I think it's a thing women challenge each other with. See if you can manipulate his behavior. Then they get together and tell each other how they fucked with manipulating their man.

My ex wife. "You'd be perfect if ________."

Me. "So I'm one step away from perfect but that's not good enough?"

It was always stupid shit. Wear these clothes. Nope I have my own style. You're exhausting. I have a lot of energy, that's why you have this lifestyle. Your hair would look better if _____. I never saw myself as a GQ model type of guy.

To be honest I've never seen a guy do that to a woman. Just constantly trying to dress and mold a guy into her personal perfect Ken Doll based on the latest Cosmo article. Fucking annoying.

[NathanDavis]

nope... never

[ohsheeT]

I have to be honest even though it is embarrassing. They didn't try to change me. They did change me

And it's ok
One of the first girls I dated would come over to my house all the time
And one day talking about love and what it meant

And there was a few times she had come over and I had clothes all over my floor or I either did or didn't raise the toilet seat and always in a hurry to go know where well any way you get the picture..

But there were times she would pick up my clothes. Or say something about the toilet seat and one day I remember she said she was coming over Saturday this is before cell phones.. but anyway as I rememberd I looked on my floor i had dirty Levi's underwear t-shirts towels.\n And I jumped up and I put everything in the dirty clothes hamper. I ran into the bathroom that night. I had gotten up to pee. I guess because I had peed on the toilet seat. So I have to get some spray clean that real quick , and just about , then knock on the door and it was her

Looking at that pee on the toilet seat and me not raising it or me, not putting it down is just a total embarrassment. My clothes on the ground, total embarrassment cell phone from that moment on I keep everything clean and that was years ago, but I thank that girl for saying something to me way back wouldn't, because I\nNever wanted to be embarrassed again. So I thank her wherever she might be , I thank her

[DreamCrescent]

your response is in a positive spin to guys complaining about changes being demanded of them? Or was this sarcasm… i couldn’t quite tell

[ohsheeT]

It was truth in a smart ass way

[exitseven]

You should have dated my ex. Her bathroom was a disaster area and she kept her laundry in a pile on her bed and poked through it when she needed something clean to wear. Truly a match made in heaven

[ohsheeT]

Yes I was all most 17.

[Kaneki05]

Honestly the better question is what they don't ask to change lol, but here a few examples,
'Don't be honest.'
'Don't be as clingy.'
'Let's go out more.'
'Play less video games.'
'Don't leave half drunk cans out.'
'Let's do coke!'
'Stop vaping.'
'Don't eat pizza all the time.'
'Don't talk to other girls.'
'Put the toilet seat down.'
'You should get along with your mother.' Since I have no contact with her anymore that shouldn't be brought up but if another say's that to me she's out right away.
There is more nuanced examples of trying to change how you speak or argue things too.

You'd think shower more would be one but in fact no girl has ever said that to me, despite I shower rarely, tbf I shower more in relationship but ya know for the girl to like me in the first place she's been with me several times I haven't and never noticed.

And I would say my ex's have been the least demanding for change yet I still have many examples.

[teehartman55]

I first met my wife to be I was a little concerned. I was a casual (very) and she was a yuppie (old name). She changed my clothes shoes etc. but it was far better for work so I thought she was right. We got married and my bowling ball, shoes and other things she didn't like were thrown away. I was mad but she argued back. Mostly life was good and we had fun. Later on as things go really bad due to health problems she started on me making a good living, I needed to be organized, my bathroom is a pit (I clean and clorox and do mirrors, and so much more. not one thing about me seems to be acceptable. I've learned.
When in a relationship don't lok for a girls who asks you to do something but is happy just as you are. Things will change as you grow but it's together rather than one initiating. My gut was right but my mind and heart were wrong. Life sticks, I'm old penniless and everyday nigh and afternoon reminded of it. Find someone who you truly cherish faults and all.

[DreamCrescent]

How do you know when it is growing/changing together vs someone initiating? in my experience (just one guy but still), men are so satisfied with a status quo you couldn’t even bother one to clean up after himself. I tried to change myself and just live with his messiness and unhygienic habits but i eventually imploded.

i feel like it’s fair game to ask someone to clean a bathroom who is otherwise comfortable with a pigsty?

just wondering… I’m sure your relationship was tough; so was mine

I’m sorry about your stuff and the bowling ball; that doesn’t sound fair. But I’m trying to understand where the happy limits are

Thanks for sharing

[AngryCarl2]

@Kaneki05 "Don't leave half drunk cans out" is good advice.

[Kaneki05]

@AngryCarl2 But two things,
1st I often am still drinking them therefore that's wasting them I can have a Monster last me hours or a day because I don't open the lid fully and drink slowly it.
2nd Why not wait until end of the week to throw them all out at once?
I had this ex who would throw them out if they're open for an hour or so... saying they aren't good anymore. She would buy me more but it was such a waste.

[AngryCarl2]

That's true, I had the same problem with my housekeeper.

[DreamCrescent]

wait a week with empty monster and beer cans everywhere and then throw them out on the weekends okay

lord almighty give me patience

[Fireguy17]

What i wear, what i should be doing, what i should be spending my money on, how i should decorate my house, how i should run my businesses, how much time i spend at the firehouse, how i should clean up as i cook, not when I am done, how i should wash and dry my clothes, how i should hand the teller by bank deposit at the drive up window, and probably others i have forgotten.

Let's just say they didn't stay in my life very long.

If you dont like me for who I am, why are you even with me in the first place?

What you see is who I actually am.

[DreamCrescent]

That’s fair, mister firefighter

Actually sounds a bit much to be criticized every turn

I’m trying to introspect because i have caught myself correctly how the dishwasher is loaded and having to nag about dirty socks on the floor

I’ve never given feedback on someone’s fashion or how or who they are, though

[Twodogs0525]

She tried to get me to quit drinking and smoking. I didn't drink that often and only had a few cigarettes when I did drink. I know she was just looking out for me but early on in our relationship I brought that subject up. Her exact words were, "why would I want to change you? I already know what your habits are." Not even two weeks later, while I had been drinking and we were in bed together, this is what she said, "what if we are going to have a future together, do you think I would enjoy watching you die of lung cancer or emphysema?" Again, I get where she was coming from and it did show me she cared. I always said, girls hope certain behaviors of the guy will change and guys hope the girl never changes in a relationship. It doesn't happen and the key to success is having to adapt to it.

[HampferStick]

Women try to "change" a man based on her feelings. Which is bad.

Men try to change a woman based on justice and what is right or wrong. Which is good.

[Shiprex]

I walked in on her trying to make me a simp when she was screwing her colleague

[DreamCrescent]

so the answer to a different question lol

[Shiprex]

No, she tried changing me into a cuck. I didn't, she was out on the street in quick time

[exitseven]

I am wearing underwear and putting down the toilet seat.

[bowenw]

One wanted to get pregnant when I felt it was not an appropriate time.

[dudeinohio]

Ex wife tried to change me in many ways. I just grew resentment and got depressed.

[DreamCrescent]

i asked for examples

[dudeinohio]

Too many to list, otherwise I would have.

[ChaseBee]

I agree with most of the comments here. “Changing” is manipulative and is a red flag for me. Now if she says “let’s work on some bad habits”, that is a little different

[krin_m]

Can't really think of anything right at this moment TBH!

I'm sure once I think hard, there are instances but nothing really significant.

[MikeMcMansion]

From animate to inanimate.

[Anonymous]

I don't let alone changes me.

[Anonymous]

Never, I've never been in a relationship.