Girl's Behavior
2 mo

Why am I so obsessed with my looks even when others say I’m pretty?

everything i do revolves around the way i look, i cannot let myself be seen without makeup in public; even though i look similar without it- at one point i would sleep in it so i could wake up in it the next morning. I constantly watch videos of others and compare my features to theirs, then find ways to alter my own in order to create the most potential out of them. i also suffered with an eating disorder for quite some time, as i always believed i was too fat- ( i was only 45kg) ? I also cannot have conversations with people as i feel if they look at me they’ll notice faults- so i get super awkward and try my hardest to hide my face. i used to attempt to cut/scratch off the parts of me i didn’t like, as i thought i was unbelievably ugly to look at. i always feel as though everyone is judging me or staring at me when i go out in public, as though they all immediately look at me and think of how ugly i look. yet throughout my entire life I've always been called beautiful/pretty/hot, and had so many boys want me, and everyone telling me im ‘silly’ for thinking im ugly, but i just can’t seem to view myself the same way others do? why?
Why am I so obsessed with my looks even when others say I’m pretty?
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