Why does everyone care so much about looks?

[ApatheticApology]

I like a guy...he's not gorgeous, but I really like him, he's sweet to me, makes me things, sends me random texts, his voice is definitely hot, but still my friends judge him like a contestant for a modeling company! It makes me feel so bad, like I am putting him in the line of fire called my friends... I am too afraid to evn have them on the same wave length because I don't want them to hurt him...

Why are guys and girls so judgmental on appearance...isn't a decent looking guy with a sweet persoality enough? I mean..he makes me feel so special and always calls me beautiful, does society just not care about genuinely nice people anymore?

[Reckoning]

"does society just not care about genuinely nice people anymore?"

Feels that way a lot of the time doesn't it. But you know, the only way that could ever be changed is if people like you go with their hearts and ignore those people that are so shallow. As a person's personality shines through, they become more attractive to me physically anyway. There can be the hottest guy in the world in front of me, but if his personality isn't a good one then he becomes unnattractive to me very quickly. I would much rather have an averagely good looking man with a sweet personality than a stereotypical drop dead gorgeous bloke with a rubbish personality.

Personality lasts, looks don't last as long. So to those people basing their lives on appearance of their partners, they will be rather unsatisfied in life.

Ignore your friends, they probably have not matured enough to realize what is involved in a REAL relationship and are focusing purely on looks. If you like the guy, go for him, I bet your friends will soon realize because of their shallow views they are missing out on something really rather special :)

[arashmenalagha]

this is very good :)

[deathnote]

People may seem shallow but subconsciously they're actually thinking about their future offspring, how they will look. They want cute babies with nice features. Even if you are open minded, something inside you will kinda judge (or anyone) on their looks, everyone does it really! But honestly I wouldn't mind compromising if he has a good personality, after all, personality is so attractive because THIS person will also be the father of your children, and you want someone who will set a good example (an of course someone to make you happy!). I know its a cruel world, that will never change. Wish more people were like you ! I try to be :p

[ApatheticApology]

I mean, I want cute babies, but I'm eighteen, I don't think I am going to date him and marry him, but even if I do, if he makes me happy, who cares what kids look like? Thanks, you made me feel a lot better about my decision.

[deathnote]

Yeah, once you have your baby, no matter what he looks like, 'it' will seem like the most beautiful thing in the world!

[peace-love-couture]

Your friends suck, no offense.

Look, I have superficial friends who will openly admit that looks are important, but they aren't judgmental to the boyfriends we have. Unless they have a real reason to judge, like he's mean or cheated or whatever, they don't. Reevaluate who your friends are chica.

[MrOracle]

Clearly, you are much more mature than your shallow friend are, and have figured out what's really important. Good for you.

So, you need to tell your friends to STFU. They can think what they want, but tell them you don't care to hear their opinions on this matter.

Remember this always: a lot of women can't stand to see other women (who they view as "competition") happy, and if one of their friends finds happiness, they set out to destroy it with ant-like industry. They want you to be at least as miserable, if not more, than they are.

Don't buy into that crap. Realize that it's their own insecurity talking, and feel sorry for them that they can't (or won't) do what they KNOW is right. And be happy that YOU did.

[jsmagee]

i totally agree with you.

[ApatheticApology]

They' really are shallow..

[Frostie]

Eh, I judge for myself, I don't let my friends do my judging. I personally need physical attraction as much as a girl with a personality. What my friends think about her, doesn't really mean much to me, as they aren't dating her, I am. So they can suck it up, or f*** off. I've had to tell a friend to f off with his sh*t at one point in time. He knocked it off. Either way, just cause they wouldn't sleep/date him, doesn't mean you shouldn't. don't worry about other peoples' opinions on who you date.

Lol, everyone is supposed to be "nice". That is expected, social norms call for more than just being a respectful person. "Bad Boys" come into play in this scenario. either way, I think my answer is clear enough.

[ApatheticApology]

Thanks for the info, it's not so much that "I" care what they think, he's ki d of...sensitive? Lmao... I am just afraid one of them will accidentally blab spmething to shake his confidence

[Frostie]

Lol, poor guy. Don't tell him people are making judgments about him on a daily basis, every few seconds he comes into contact with someone. He'll have a break down. Seriously, he sounds like he may be emotional fragile, and possibly lacking confidence. Either way, best of luck with him. I get all kinds of sh*t from people, I just laugh it off lol.

[ApatheticApology]

I wish he could do that, anyway, lots of help, and thanks for giving me a few moments of your time! :)

[Frostie]

Well, if its something you're willing to live with, then by all means go for it. And any time, add me if you like.

[Joshbgosh]

I can't stand one of my friend's girlfriend. I say (to myself, not to him) that she is ugly, but she is even uglier on the inside, truly not a good person, he just doesn't want to die alone.

But onto your situation, I don't want to sound like a douche, but your friends sounds terrible. This guy sounds great and it sounds like he make you feel head over heels and gives you confidence, yet they can't be happy for you and shut up? That's awful. I don't think you need to protect him, I think he'll do just fine on his own if they make hurtful comments. If he's witty, then definitely don't protect him because if they say something rude, I'm sure he'll have the last laugh.

[ApatheticApology]

On your story, you make me even more nervous about how guys look at us girls! Haha, but I agree, if sje has a bad personality, then I think both genders just look uglier! I think, even being lonely, I could not handle a bad attitude I give your friend kudos for his patience. ;) maybe he sees something different?

As for my friends, they are judgmental biotches, they are fun to hang out with on a girls night, but not when you get a boyfriend or possible boyfriend. I just don't like how looks are so important.

[Joshbgosh]

lol sorry, I didn't intend to sidetrack your dilemma. My friend has no confidence, that's his problem. I honestly don't care how my friends' gfs usually look, but this one in particular, she's just a buzzkill and an awful person all around.

But back to you, your "friends" don't really sound like friends, more like aquaintances to be honest. They really shouldn't even care about his looks, it's not like they're going out with him. You might need to lay down the law and tell them to smarten up.

[ApatheticApology]

Well, if tjeir attitudes don't change, I am dropping them, he's a lot more supportive of me and my career choice anyhow, thanks for your opinion. :) I really appreciate it!

I think I am 'Aquaintances' with a girl like your friends girlfriend, honestly I don't know why I still talk to her, her drama is unbelievable..

[TouchTheSky]

Yes, that's so wrong lol, really, yesterday I was at Facebook, with my friend, on his profile, he's not that good looking but he's average, I talked with a girl like it's him... And girl acts like an idiot.

And the same night, I logged with my account and talk with her, she was nice to me of course I end up dump her..., Because I hate this kind of people. They only care for look.

[arashmenalagha]

good work :)

[TouchTheSky]

:P

[arashmenalagha]

Excellent question, and I like your name! wow I like you already :)

I think people are now conditioned to think that appearance is almost everything. and they forget what is truly important. but there is good news. You don't, and I'm so proud of you :)!

(I know some people might comment saying this is not true, but you know it's true... you can't lie to yourself.)

[ApatheticApology]

Looks matter...they're just not THAT important to me...as long as it's not like beastly...lmao... Thanks!

[malekoniky]

DO not protect the guy. Support but don't protect him. He is a guy. If he is a normal guy with normal male confidence he does not even notice.

I care.

[ApatheticApology]

I can't help it, he doesn't have normal guy confidence.. That's the problem. I don't care what my friends think, but I am scared he might.

[malekoniky]

Give him chance to surprise you.

Seriously. Don't protect him. Support him. Don't stand between him and your friends. Stand behind him and close that he will feel that you are with him.

He is not a child. If you protect him, in the end you will harm his self confidence because he will never learn that he can do it. He will get hurt. It's OK. Let him. But be there when it happens so he always have you to fall back to. That way he learns to fight and learns that he can do it. Creates confidence.

[ApatheticApology]

You have a point. Haha, I am just so used to being the oldest in my group, guess I am too used to standing up for others and protecting them. Thanks for the advice, I will try to keep it in mind!

[sovetskii13]

Because the way you look is the first think a person notices about you. A persons first impression of you is based on how you look. If you look bad, they won't want to get to know you personally (in most cases).

[yopyopyop]

Well sadly, your friends are idiots. They are behaving like 12 year old bullies.

If you like him, just go for him, and live happily.

[ApatheticApology]

Yeah, I intend to go for him either way...

[Guysensei]

look, your friends are just jealous and hating cause he makes you happy. they don't want you to have a good thing if they dont

[pr3ttybr0wn]

in all likelihood, your guy's friends are judging you the same way

[ApatheticApology]

Actually, I know his friends, they're really nice ^-^ Kinda nerdy goofies those boys. :) But I do realize guys can be just as mean, but it's on both sides. Both genders do throw mud..

[GymStatus]

I knew a female that only wanted me because of looks. She always slammed the not so good looking or average guys... We don't talk anymore. That is life lol. She was very attractive...

[ApatheticApology]

Good job, anyone who is that superficial, no matter how they look on the outside is definitely ugly. Smart choice :D

[ApatheticApology]

That's awesome. Even if someone is beautiful on the outside, a bad personality ruins it.

[GymStatus]

I did not like fully reject her but I just told her she will find a guy she likes lol! She went off on another guy I know. I felt bad for him lol. Some women can be brutal when they turn down guys. If a guy rejects women like how women reject guys, they would call the cops lol

[Anonymous]

Every one cares about looks because in society it's mostly about looks and your appearance but it's also your life. You live it the way you want to and if you found a guy that treats you right, then just ignore what anybody else thinks or says. Just be happy and if they were really your friends, they would be happy that you found somebody that makes you really happy and is nice to you.

[asianfreak]

perhaps that's one way everyone judges each other nowadays.