Why are women so unforgiving?

[Anonymous]

I messed up with this girl and I admit I was rude with her, ir has been a very long time and she hasn't got over it, or she doesn't even want to see me. I have tried to talk to her, but she just ignores me. I honestly don't know what else to do.

[Anonymous]

why would anyone of any sex want to be around someone who treated them in a way they didn't like? this isn't just girls. guys are even more sensitive than that. if you don't want to go out with a guy, he will avoid you at all costs and won't even talk to you. you haven't treated him any specific way, but he can't handle rejection that well and move on as friends. a lot of guys are like this. if they can be that way when someone hasn't treated them poorly, why can't women be the same way when a guy directly is rude or mean to her?

I don't really see why its necessary to associate with someone who treated you a certain way. it doesn't even mean you haven't gotten over it, it means its irrational to be friends with them again because there's a likely chance that they will do it again. people can change, of course, but its not my responsibility to babysit your growth as a person. if youve changed, great, I'm happy for you. go exhibit that changed character with someone else who isn't going to expect you to act a certain way. I shake things off very easily, generally, but only a fool forgets how someone has wronged them and allows themselves to become close to that person again. I mean really ask yourself why she should talk to you. if you show me something about your personality that reveals something id rather not be around, even if I have already gotten over you, what logical reason is there for me to talk to you? if I don't like the glimpse I had into your character, why should I talk to you? small talk is pointless sometimes. I can easily not be upset about something that happened in the past and simply not like who you are as a person. why is that difficult to understand? you take people for who they are and you're not always going to like what you find out. why be fake and pretend that I want to have small talk with you if I have no interest in being your friend?

i have no clue if the girl is still upset or not, but I'm giving you things from my perspective. being upset about something is very different from taking the experiences youve had with that person as an assessment of who they are and the type of friend they would be. why waste your time if the person isn't the type of person you want to be friends with? I don't know I personally don't see the point. I have little tolerance for fake people, so I'm not going to chat you up and give you the impression that I'm interested in being friends, hanging out, etc. when I'm not. that doesn't at all mean I'm still upset with you.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

I couldn't agree more!

[Anonymous]

She's not unforgiving, she's just not forgiving of what ever it is you did to her. She doesn't have to sit around, forgive you and wait to see if it (whatever it was) happens again.

People are criticizing Rihanna for getting back with her previously abusive ex Chris Brown for giving him another chance. It seems like women can't win-- if she gets back with a guy who treated her badly and forgives him, she deserves to be mistreated and is a stupid whore; if she doesn't forgive a guy who treated her badly and doesn't forgive him, she's unforgiving.

Personally, I'd pick being an unforgiving bitch over being a dumb ass idiot who takes ill treatment from a guy. as much as I know how much it sucks to be ignored, I really can't blame her. things might not be over for you, and that's really painful, but I think its time to move on to someone new and learn from this experience.

[May31]

It's probably because she got really hurt before she met you. So when you hurt her, she got even more hurt & you lost her trust. There are plenty of people like that because people can be so untrustworthy. There's nothing you can really do. If she's not letting you prove it to her then leave it alone, at some point she'll come to her senses & then she might come back.

[Straightup7]

Bro you're asking unforgiving women why they are unforgiving.

The top response of your post is an angry fem grieving at you without any context of your situation.

Bad women can't forgive because they are fundamentally broken.

A good person doesn't hold on to bullshit grudges but naturally forgives because they don't drown in weakness.

The problem is there are just too many weak asses in the world that it seems like it's a bigger problem than it is.

Find a good woman, and skip on these gutters so you can be happy.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has standards. Somethings they'll forgive, some they won't.

You didn't tell us what you did, so I imagine it was pretty heinous.

[TheHolyDarkness]

I imagine it would not. Innocence until proven guilty. Women are not sufficiently self-aware of how hypocritical they are.

[TheHolyDarkness]

So, let me get this straight ladies. You want Mr. Right: A man who has his act completely together. Someone you can love and grow old with. And the moment he makes one arbitrary mistake with you, you'll dump him with ruthless coldness?

No wonder this generation of women finds themselves growing 40 and alone/divorced at rates that make their grandmothers scoff!

We're not talking about abuse but a singular mistake. If you can't forgive Mr. Right for a gaff when he tried to tell of joke or tell you his (honest!) feelings on something, resulting you cutting him off with and permanent contempt, even after he's expressed genuine regret, then you deserve what you get: Singleness. Forever.

That's your problem with finding Mr. Right: selfishly giving up too soon because Disney Cartoons made you expect Mr. Perfect; a man (slave) who does all the work both materially and emotionally without flaw, with no need for you to actually love him in turn.

[Opinion Owner]

@TheHolyDarkness Give over yourself. She cuts one guy from her life. That hardly means she is destined to be alone forever. That is crazy talk.

[grnylw51]

u can't really blame her for not wanting to see you since you treated her badly. sometimes we can forgive the people that hurt us over time and other times we can't and it looks like she just can't move past how she was treated. I think you should just give up and move on

[proudtexasgirl]

Leave her alone. I'm definitely a one chance kinda person. I will be the most loyal and loving person, but if you screw me, you're done. I don't give second chances. Sounds like she may be one of those girls, and she's not in the wrong at all. Regardless of what horrible thing you do, she's completely justified in wanting nothing to do with you.

[rachiee]

Move on. If you've apologized and done all you could then move on. All people have different morals/standards. If someone messes up then they're gone, no chances. It sounds like she may be that type of person.

[think_of_the_bubble]

It takes forever for people to change so usually when you hurt somebody once they assume that you haven't changed and move on to somebody who hasn't hurt them at all.

[reneewg]

its depends how hurt is she. if she think that she can't forgive you then that's it and as time pass if she forget and forgive she won't ignore you anymore by then.