How do you respond to a girl who is nice but aloof?

[Anonymous]

Scenario:

you meet a girl you find very attractive physically

(in a stunning / unconventional way)

she is polite, isn't stuck-up or vain,

but she never really talks about herself,

she seems a bit detached, maybe even solitary.

She doesn't blend in with others around her.

How would you perceive her?

And would you approach her?

[Inq100]

I would perceive her as a withdrawn individual. She may have personality issues or be a introvert. The only way to find out is to engage her in conversation.

Personally, I choose not to approach this kind of people. Physical attractiveness is only the first step. The real attraction that lasts comes from knowing the other person.

You don't have to "respond," as you put it in your question, if she does not initiate a conversation. If you think you can engage her, you can try. See whether you have much in common.

[Asker]

"kind of people"?

kind is used for animals, not people.

type of people sounds more like it.

...and English isn't my first language.

[TheDigitalSaint]

This girl sounds like a dead ringer for the girl I'm currently dating. It is hard as heck to date this type of girl. Honestly, not being able to talk about yourself at least a little bit makes it really hard to get to know the other person. It makes me really frustrated at times. If she didn't have the other qualities, I would have probably stopped dating her a while back.

[Asker]

May I ask how long you've dated her for?

It might be a question of giving her a bit more time

to feel comfortable around you... just thinking.

[TheDigitalSaint]

We've talked since March and we've gone out for about 8 dates or so. If she wasn't comfortable, why continue to go out on dates? I feel she ought to be opening up more soon, as I can't tolerate an emotionally closed off girl forever.

[Asker]

I see your point very well.

[aMuse]

I feel like she doesn't trust me, or anyone for that matter. At first it's like well she might be shy and will warm up to me once she gets more comfortable (some girls are like that). After a while, it becomes emotionally draining, and I have to ask myself why am I wasting my time here.

[dzj031682195]

i will make out why she is solitary and get to her heart

[Anonymous]

Just ask her questions about herself but don't come on too strong..