Girl's Behavior

Do you feel like a living corpse?

I think I do.

Well it feels like nothing now but... too many times have not been able to achieve what I wanted. My passion, my desire...

I mean fuck be for being this way... it has been a long way from where I was and where I wanted to be.

I find the worst thing to be unable to understand how I fell... I mean fuck I knew everything so much better than this... its almost like a bitch with a wand said "fuck this guy" and everything... logic, rational, reality just stopped applying to my life.

I refer to it as so because... that itself is not exactly the problem... but how the fuck did this "tool" subdue me.

I have had enemies in life... who have wished a lot of ill on me... and they used the instrument to "subdue" me/ keep pressure on me so that when I was fighting the real issue/battle... which was with my self... I did not have it easy. And to think these were people I helped aided and did not wish ill towards. I knew their nature and I was still understanding helpful ( I was cautious to protect myself so that they could never harm me... and they never could before the incident).

I don't know if I make sense... I know it sounds very cryptic... but this is me rambling out my thoughts in anger...

Thanks,
Do you feel like a living corpse?
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