What does a girl mean when she says 'stop being so nice'?

[damondino]

d of a theme going on with my questions lol. By nature I am a gentle caring kinda guy. Met this girl with 4 children, from day one I knew that the girl had been in an awful relationship and her oldest daughter (14) had witnessed more than she should have. I've met the kids and the girl told me her 14 year old really likes me, unlike the former partner. I love kids and treat them all like my own, its the only way I can be. I treat their mother with the respect she has always deserved. However she says stop being so nice, its too much. Any ideas.

Updates

+1 y

When I say too nice.. the 14 year old had no school uniform, and believe me the mum could not afford it... and I wouldn't see any child go without like that. So I took her shopping.

[Shyguy_1988]

All I can say is she may just see you as a friend because she is used to being treated poorly and somehow has built up guilt and feels she deserves it. Someone like thst really needs therapy if you notice she is self destructive and always bringing herself down. She sounds like she has a lot of built up regrets and resentment and really needs to let it out but just won't, she needs someone to talk to like a good friend. Its a slippery slop, tread carefully.

[damondino]

Thanks. I am treading carefully, maybe too carefully lol. But if I get nowhere at least I know I did my best

[jesseray]

I have had many women tell me this. I have no idea what they mean though. Do they feel flattered or annoyed or like they are taking advantage or? I don't get it.

[lalalennon]

Its good to be nice, its just hard. When in an abusive relationship, the niceness always comes before the bad stuff in a cycle. Just slow down a bit, but good for you for being a gentleman

[lalalennon]

thank you, good luck :)

[lumos]

She's used to being abused and your niceness is overwhelming to her. You should probably go a bit slower if you don't want her to run away. This is new to her.

[cutiepie321]

She just isn't used to it and feels like she doesn't deserve it because she does not know wny different.

[Anonymous]

She is addicted to drama and abuse. She may have gotten out of a awful relationship but it's what feels comfortable. She likely could use some sort of counseling. You can't really change who you are and you shouldn't be prepared this may not work out unless something about her changes.

[AndyWes]

It's like this.

Go watch Casino Royale, study Daniel Craig.

Then go watch Justified, study Tim Olyphant.

Are they good people? Mostly. Are they nice? No.

[knotme]

Stop being a doormat and don't be so agreeable; you need to voice you want and dislikes.

[Shyguy_1988]

How did you figure out all that information about him being a door mat and not voicing his opinion and being agreeable? You can be nice and not be a push over, I've had girls tell me I'm too nice but I'm no push over and will voice my opinion weather or not someone agrees.

[damondino]

I am no door mat. Not at all... I just detest seeing people I care abou feeling worthless. Sometimes I am ashamed to be a man, most are pig ignorant ass holes and I am thoroughly dissapointed that men can claim to like a woman and treat her like a dog. Sorry, I will not subscribe to that

[knotme]

Its just my opinion on how girls use the nice guy term.

[knotme]

You shouldn't have to be someone you are not, but you can't be the advocate of the female either. You can't fix someone who doesn't what to be fix; you can't be everyone savior.

[Shyguy_1988]

Very broad opinion, but you're in titled to your wrong opinion :)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

She's not that into you. I almost feel these are trolling questions.

[damondino]

Not trolling... but if you had ever known a girl who was nearly murderedwhilst pregnant less than 2 years ago you may understand the need for opinions. Its very hard to understand when you are in the thick of it, hence the need for opinions. Moods can change in a second when someone is used to being treated like a punch bag

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Yes, but you are being a TEXTBOOK beta male stuck in the friendzone to a woman who loves "the asshole". If I was going to write an after school special to warn guys of this behavior, it'd be a lot like your questions.

[PeaceHere]

I agree with yadaa yadda. She most likely likes guys that treat her like dirt, she might end up using you. she's not used to nice guys like you. Tread carefully

[Gianisaur]

r u gental during sex
if so that's what it could mean
ask her tho

[damondino]

Not talking about sex lol

[Gianisaur]

ha
then just ask her

[kambo_trick3y]

Stop being a BEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[RealityCheckTime]

Forget the mother. Get the daughter when she's old enough ;)

[bubbletrouble]

Girls aren't attracted to nice guys. We don't know why, we just aren't.
Try being little bit of confident.

[Sigma1]

Why do y'all see nice guys as weak? I really don't get it. Y'all want a man who treats you well and listens to you and actually loves you but you all go for the guy who is none of that cause you see it as weakness.

[kheserthorpe]

So you're having sex with her, or not?

[Vandal]

Red flag. Blood red flag at full mast.