Why does treating people like they are invisible look rude?

[Anonymous]

this may sound obvious, but I want your opinions

[Mesonfielde]

That sort of depends on the situation. If you are ignoring them while they are talking to you, then it's obviously rude that you are not willing to respond. If you just ignore them when you see them coming towards you and you act like you didn't see them, then they will believe that you don't care about them or dislike them and so they'll believe that as a result YOU are not worth THEIR time, and they won't talk to you or approach you at all. And you'll see that they are all avoiding you and ignoring you, and you'll think that because they don't care about you at all, they're not worth your ime.

So by ignoring someone, you get this cycle of avoidance. Unfortunately, metacommunication is in every action and everything that others can see about you. Assumptions can be made, sometimes the truth, sometimes not - but the point is, people will know (or at least believe) that you are purposefully ignoring them, and people don't like to be ignored.

Run it through your mind, imagine the situation - you walk down the street, you see a friend of yours. She notices you as well, and you see that she noticed you, but she doesn't say hi to you, and depending on your situation, think of the two outcomes - either you say hi and she doesn't respond and you'll be like wtf, or you won't say hi and think "what the hell she didn't notice me.. whatever". Regardless, it won't feel too good, right? Well, other people feel really similar when that happens.

[Asker]

I'm talking about people you go to school with whom you never bothered to be introduced to. I went to school with some people for 3 semesters and I never tried to meet them. I just sort of acted like I was invisible. in the long run, I ended up ignoring everyone because I just didn't like the crowd of people that went to that school....so instead of getting caught up in their drama, I ignored everyone....and I can tell you, they didn't like it. I originally thought they wouldn't care

[Asker]

...I originally thought they wouldn't care because if I'm ignoring them, then they can ignore me back. Instead, they DID care. They disliked me, would stare at me rudely, etc. when all I wanted was to mind my own business.

[Mesonfielde]

Wow, your comments were posted "-32 minutes ago" and "-33 minutes ago". Oh wow, what the hell. xD

Anyways, then this is the cycle of avoidance I wrote down above. You ignore them because you think they don't care about you, and others will ignore you because they think you don't care about them at all. And through this assumption, they'll label you as "negative", "unfriendly", "antisocial" and all that, and they'll dislike you for not being in the group, not caring about them.

[Mesonfielde]

Okay, unfortunately I cannot come up with the perfect answer. I don't know. Apparently my brother said that: you, as "part of the "community"", you had supposed obligations that you did not fulfill. I hope that helps. The only reason I could come up with is that people are selfish, unempathetic, not down-to-earth and stupid; and that does not really qualify as a definite reason. xD

But I am interested in the real answer as I'm going to experience this quite soon enough.

[Ramalama]

I guess it isn't rude but it depends what your motive is. Are you intentionally snubbing them, or one of those oblivious people who just doesn't pay attention? When you treat someone like they're invisible, it speaks volumes of what YOU think of them. If you want to come off rude and cold, that's okay but people always want to feel accepted. It goes back to surviving in the wild... those who were part of a pack were stronger than the loners.

[Asker]

It speaks volumes about what I think of THEM? how?

[Ramalama]

Well.... it's you who's ignoring them, right? If you're ignoring them whether it be on purpose or not ('cause remember, they don't know it's unintentional) it says you don't think they're worthy of your time, you don't like them, they don't exist.

[Asker]

I intentionally ignored. I didn't like the crowd of people, so I thought, "why get caught up in their stupid lives...I've got to do my thing and they can do theirs". I honestly thought they wouldn't care enough about me to start to dislike me. I thought they'd just 'not care' and go on with their lives.

[XNicholex3]

Because it IS rude. There is not much you can do, but ignore it and avoid the ones who do that to you.