What are the signs that an INTJ is falling in love? How do they express it?

[Anonymous]

I'm talking about Myers-Briggs personality type, anyone got experience with an INTJ?

[Anonymous]

I'm an INTJ myself, and honestly, I don't know. One of the things about intimacy, and 'falling in love', especially for men, is that you'll be considered absolutely pathetic, repugnant, desperate and worthless the instant that the girl who you have any emotional attachments to, or feel affection towards, twigs that you do. You see it as a sign of weakness, and inherently undesirable. See, the problem is that my knowledge and logic has led me to the inevitable, undeniable conclusion that no female partner can EVER be satisfied by me, in any way.

And that while I'd be prepared to offer all I have to give, and sacrifice literally anything for anyone I love, including my life, they's no way that any woman in this day and age will be prepared to reciprocate even the slightest fraction of that- no woman's going to be prepared to do a single thing for me, make any concessions or offer me anything in a relationship. I look at how everyone's relationships in this day and age always fall apart, nearly always due to the women either ditching the guys for being 'too desperate' (i. e, whenever the guys give any indications that they've actually fallen in love), 'not man enough' (i. e, whenever they see any other guys who can offer them more), 'abusive'/'users' (i. e, whenever the guys want any reciprocation or get fed up of being exploited), or simply 'boring' (i. e, 'just because').

And I realize that it's an utterly hopeless cause; any girl I could potentially feel anything for, who I could conceivably fall in love with over time, has already effectively broken up with me before I've even approached her. Why bother dragging things out, going through all of that malarkey, when I already know how any potential romantic relationship'll end before it's even begun? Namely, with yet another soul-destroying rejection, and empty heartache? Better to just end it before it's even begun, and stamp out any feelings for any girl before they have a chance to develop. We aren't allowed to be happy; we aren't allowed to love. All we can do is to accept that, resign ourselves to it, and move on with our lives.

[Asker]

aww noo, I'm really sorry you had such negative experiences with women, please don't give up though, I'm pretty sure you will meet that special someone who will reciprocate and sacrifice for you just as much as you would for her. The reason why I asked this question was because I've been texting an INTJ guy every day for a few weeks. Actually he's always been the one initiating contact, he puts a lot of effort into his texts, shares stories from his life etc. He has been quite consistent and I was just wondering if there is a chance for something more. He's a very popular and confident guy who has girls running after him but I don't know if he sees me as something special or not and I don't really want to ask because its kinda lame and I don't want to feed his ego, but he seems like a very genuine person. I was wondering about how INTJs show interest in practical terms (or over text) and what makes them fall in love. What do they look for in girls and why do they choose certain women over others? Have you got any ideas you'd like to share with me? :)

[Opinion Owner]

*Either that, or relocate to be part of a different society, with different societal norms and values, in which females are different. One in which a man IS allowed to love a woman, forming an emotional bond with her, and still stand a realistic chance of being accepted by her as a 'real man'/'man enough' in spite of that. Or, failing that, import a woman from such a society- mail order brides are a feasible option, but high-risk, since they're also more likely to only care about what they can get from you, and they'll most likely never reciprocate anything you provide them with either, love and affection included.

Here in the western world though, it's utterly hopeless. Just go to the INTJ Relationships page on the 16Personalities site, scroll down to the comments section, and take a read; every other INTJ in the Western World feels the same way. We're the most intellectual and analytical when it comes to emotions, intimacy, romance and relationship dynamics. We're one of the rarest types too, comprising only 2% of the population; and male INTJs (3% of men) outnumber female INTJs (0.8% of women) by around 3 or 4-1. As such, inevitably, with the world the way it is now, and women the way they now, after taking a good look at 3rd wave feminism, #MeToo and all the statistical trends regarding relationships, divorce, men's rights (or lack thereof) with regards to marriage, fatherhood and child custody, the overwhelming majority of INTJs take the red pill and decide to go their own way, by the age of 25 at latest. How old is your guy? And what do you mean by "it's kinda lame and I don't want to feed his ego"- would you deem it to be "lame" if he DID see you as something special? Would HE be lame for seeing you like that? Do you not want to boost his self-esteem- do you want him to bring him down, make him feel worthless, unloved and unlovable, in order to gaslight him into choosing you? What's your game?

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply, but you didn't really get what i meant. I am, as a matter of fact, also a rare personality type and I do get what you mean since I also don't always feel understood by others. He is in his early 20s. And by "lame" I DID NOT mean bringing him down, making him feel worthless or unloved, I treat people the way I myself want to be treated and obviously I would neither want to be with someone who would make me feel worthless nor would I ever make someone else feel that way unless they had done something very unethical, e. g. cheat on me. What I meant by "I don't want to ask him because its lame" was that in my culture, if a girl asks such a direct question, she may be seen by a guy as "desperate" or "looking for validation" or "fishing for compliments", and I definitely don't want to be associated with all that. I've already mentioned that he is a popular guy, also super confident and does have a reputation of a player, but Im being quite objective while assessing him as a potential partner and he does not seem to be playing with me though (refer back to signs of interest I mentioned earlier). I know how players are and how they approach the dating game but he seems to be very slow and cautious with me. Or maybe I'm too naive and trying to mostly focus on the positives (we are not dating by the way, just casually texting). Anyway, I hope you understand the situation now :)

[mrbobz]

I suspect they would take the long road, build up a picture of the person through conversation and meetings. If they stop or slow down then they may have given up?

[Logorithim]

I am one. I express it so that she knows for sure.

[Asker]

What are the signs? How do you usually behave or what do you say or hint so that she knows that you're interested?

[Logorithim]

I go out of my way to demonstrate it. Remember an INTJ is pretty logical and methodical.

[Logorithim]

I say it and plan romantic things. INTJs are planners.