Should I even respond?

[Anonymous]

I was texting this guy who I met on Tinder. We were talking about how we both liked art. And he said he had tickets to this art exhibit. I asked him who he was going with. He said he wasn't sure and would maybe give the tickets to his mom and boyfriend. So I said I think we should meet at the exhibit and he never replied this was in September. And today he replied with this should I even reply?

[Mango-man]

Up to you. If you had a spark before, you could give him a chance.

All I can say is what would be my thoughts if I was in his situation. If I had tickets for exhibition that was happening in few months and "random" (didn't meet her yet) woman would ask to meet there (ie. meet in few months) I would surely be caught unprepared.

I would be thinking something like this:

"Like what should I think about it? Does she really want to meet me? If so then why not meet anytime sooner? Why wait until the exhibition?"

"Or is she taking all this writing way too seriously? Does she get super attached really quickly? Like is she already imagining baing married? Or why else is she making plans for few months in the future?"

[Asker]

"Or is she taking all this writing way too seriously? Does she get super attached really quickly? Like is she already imagining baing married? Or why else is she making plans for few months in the future?"

This really makes no sense all I did was suggest that we could maybe meet at the exhibit. I didn't ask to be in a relationship with the guy.

[Mango-man]

I am here in my free time and I decided to try to help you by presenting you two different interpretations of your text exchange. I can't give you analysis of your whole text exchange that "would make sense"when all we see are two text bubbles.

Because the text "I think we should meet at the Van Gogh exhibit" could generally trigger two RED FLAGS for him: 1) You don't want to meet him right now but instead in few months (avoiding meeting him = risk of fake profile). Or 2) You are already planning your future together with him (there are these types of people so how should he know you are not one of them?) by including him into something that happens in much longer time period that is the time that you know this guy.

[Asker]

I'm already planning on my future with him just because I suggest that we meet at an exhibit because we both like art? I honestly don't know how you get that just because I made a suggestion. You make it sound like I asked him to be my boyfriend or to marry me. That wasn't the case at all I can't help that the exhibit doesn't start for a few months. I'm not seeing how he could have thought I was planning our future because I made a simple suggestion. He could have just said he wasn't interested.

I understand you are trying to help but that last assumption just doesn't make any sense.
I wasn't rushing to meet him because I wanted to talk and get to know him better.

[Mango-man]

On and exhibition that WILL BE happening IN FEW MONTHS. Nowadays people generally don't plant that far even with their close friends.

I gave you two possible interpretations that could have caused him to be freaked out and bail out (which HE DID). None of them were assumptions. So please stop assuming that the set of possible negative interpretations of your message as provided by me are assumptions.
And I honestly don't know why you keep getting stuck with the interpretation no.2. Like why do you feel the strong urge to distance yourself so much from that interpretation.

There are thousands of ways to phrase your intention better.
If your wrote something playful and flirty like "Well, we could text some more. And who knows... As time goes on, maybe we could find a solution to your ticket problem ;)" or "Haha, should I take it as invitation to the exhibition? ;)" All of these reactions however strongly depend on previous mode of your texting, which you didn't provide. It could have been flirtatious, friendly or depressed...

[Asker]

He bailed out so why did he message me?

[Mango-man]

You don't like assumptions so you should ask HIM.

[SnakeBoop]

meh, do you still want to go with him to it?
but, you basically tried to shoe horn into it, and use him for art tickets. so i'm not too surprised it made him uncomfortable and awkward. Like, you shouldn't be the one essentially saying "hey you have this, use it on me"...

[Asker]

I wasn't trying to use him for art tickets. I just made a suggestion that maybe we could go together since we both like art. I wasn't trying to use him for anything because I planned to go anyway regardless.

[Anonymous]

Lol no. Absolutely not. If you do then you’ve set the standard of what you’ll accept from the guy. Move on. No reply. Hard no.