Does he really dislike me why does get nervous around me?

[Anonymous]

I know this guy from work. He is married. He is 4-5 years older than me. I know him for nearly 1 year. He is kind of a mentor to me. At initial days I was bit sceptical of his performance and I was really tough towards him so at first he was really nervous to talk to me and guide me but through time I saw he is good at his jobs and he became comfortable interacting with me. I began sharing my mental health issues and worries regarding my career and my vulnerable times with him maintaining formality of our relationship. He really helped me work through my insecurity about my work performance and gave me a lot of mental support. However, in last 2 to 3 interaction he is behaving strangely, he becomes really nervous when he talks to me on phone. He becomes really nervous when he is alone with me but behaves very normally with me and other people when other people around us. I do not get this sudden change.

[Lockey_]

Well as you describe it, he might think you are into him. By telling your mental health issues with him, you also took your relationship to another, non professional and non work related level.
It is totally unclear why he acts as he does now, maybe he was telling his wife about you and she identified you as a threat, maybe he thinks of divorce and he now sees you as possible prey? Who knows..

Anyway, i suggest you never tell anyone at work about anything personal at all. In my experience, chances that you find real friends at work that will stay in your life forever are zero compared to the chance that a try to make friends with someone at work leads to troubles.
Imagine, the guy you told your emotions becomes your boss later and he needs to pick you vs. someone else for a promotion. You told him your issues, the other one did not... Who has the better chances?

[Asker]

My anxiety and depression was related to failure in my career I thought he could guide or tips to do better in my career

[Lockey_]

Well it is actually totally independent of the details, what matters is that you opened up to him

[Asker]

It was involuntary, I had a bad episode with some people and I could not control my emotions and I cried silently on one of online meeting when he asked about my situation I said I was unwell and I said nothing further. Next day he asked how I was I completely dismissed the question. Whatever he saw me in situation it was out of my control. I never shared about my depression only My anxiety and inadequacy regarding performance of my work. which was his job to give me tips to improve my work

[Lockey_]

Dear, you don't need to explain yourself to me at all. Situation is that you showed you heart and he had like to dig into it. Now the both of you have a special relationship.
As you describe he tends to be nervous in certain situations, it obviously means that he sees some problem or opportunity here. I guess you just need to find a way to be distanced but still get what you want from him, just as it should be in a work relationship.

At the best of my knowledge, experienced girls that are in a situation like you were, already found some way how to hide, e. g. simulate a network issue or such. Very experienced of course are able to surpress their feelings as long as needed.
My sister told me lots about this and over time she got really good control over it.

[spartan55]

What do you mean he acts nervous?

[Asker]

He voice shakes talking to me, forcefully laughs and he does not maintain eye contact when giving me guidance how to improve my work. he is very fidgety with his hands and cloths. I have anxiety and his behaviour really makes me uncomfortable. I asked whether he is unwell, he said he is perfectly fine.

[spartan55]

I think a lot of it is your perception.

[iseekpinetrees]

Became attracted to u I don't know

[Wise4myage]

No, I say it means the exact opposite.

[PeterSmith1983]

He gets nervous because he is attracted to you