Now, that I think about it, one of them did say he was not thinking clean thoughts when we first met. I didn’t know this, till months later… So, he wasn’t wasn’t a true friend…;-; I guess it does depend on the guys intentions the moment you meet them. 🤔
How do guys actually feel, after falling for a female friend in a relationship 🤔?
I can remain friends, but I can't be reminded of it either. Interacting and talking with you, hanging out will be no problem. But I once made the mistake of telling another girl friend about my feelings and she kept bringing it up.
Wanna go there? No. She's gonna be there tooooo.
After a rejection, I can move on. But that friend keeps saying that and they are childhood friends, so me going will send the wrong signals, so I wouldn't go.
So unless nobody reminds me of it, I'm good to go.
I had a few female friends and sometimes I would get confused about how I felt about them. I never really did anything about it though. I had a steady girlfriend for years but there was one girl who I thought that maybe we should be together.
When younger, guys tend to puppy dog around and basically wait on hand and foot for the girls next command. Not literally, but just imagine guy with no self respect that wants to be around you constantly. Unfortunately, this is still a problem for some guys as they get older. It’s simply not learning from their mistakes when this occurs. But for most guys as they grow up mentally and mature, if they do fall for female friends, they go about it much less creepily and also come out looking a lot less pathetic. The down side is that most guys still don’t accept reality and when they get rejected (even after having gone through the whole maturing process) they still think their life is over and can’t imagine a day without that girl… still pathetic. If a friend rejects you, walk it off. It ain’t happening, stop trying. This is how friendships end in the most awkward way possible. My philosophy, don’t try to date friends unless you’re both into each other from the beginning. Plus, I like the added excitement of mustering up the courage to walk over and talk to a girl I’ve never met before.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
There’s a woman that I occasionally have a crush on. I don’t think it’s full on falling for, but it’s a crush that comes and goes. I doubt she’s interested; I don’t know if she’s noticed, though. We get along great, it’s just that she doesn’t seem to pick up on hints (or she purposely avoids it) for whatever reasons.
It’s a little disappointing. I don’t want to “pine” for her, so I try to keep it purely platonic and just support her as a friend. But on occasion, I’ll start thinking “ok, maybe now she might open up a bit” - it’s a little frustrating that my gut instinct says that we could make a decent couple if she was open. I occasionally hint or flirt when I’m being a hopeful idiot… and she doesn’t seem to get it. So I get disappointed and tired of trying so that I just mentally try to think of her as ONLY a friend (“crushing” on and off for years is only going to hurt me, after all). I try to not initiate too much, and try to match her excitement and that’s it. But it comes back sometimes, when she’s looking especially cute or does some damned cute thing.
TL;DR: Basically, I just try to live with it and try to convince myself that as much as I think it COULD have potential, I would really just be annoyed that she’s “too busy” to make time. And that she refuses to make much effort for me as a friend, so I don’t see that changing If there was a relationship. It’s too much work.
I was way too young... younger than 15, at the moment it sucked monkey butt... but I actually learned a lot from it and very good lessons as well
two of the most important things I learned was that first, I really didn't love her... I was just infatuated with the idea of her
and second, that I really never tried to actually be her friend and tried to get to know her and appreciate her for who she really was
and those are two mistakes that I did not repeat in my life again... if I will be friends with a girl, it will only be genuine interest on a friendship with her, no other further intentions and... if there's feelings, unless they're reciprocated by her, then I will just not entertain any infatuation at all, I won't let myself fall for it on my own accord, not again... lol
yeah, there is also that... a true friend will value and appreciate your friendship, that is for sure
while whoever comes your way and claims to be catching feelings, will most likely be someone who had that intention in the first place, and was being friendly just to get close and give it a try
so, don't be so sad either... and do not blame yourself, as long as you're not leading anybody on, never be sorry for being amazing, lol
I don't know. I tend to want to make friends and when I ask if they want to go somewhere together they say no. I think they act like your question and think I am all bent out of shape. But I am not. I don't consider any female in a NON committed relationship off... whats the word? Wow can't remember. Anyway she is still up for a fun time. If they are married that is a whole different thing and I don't even ask them lest its a group.
Brings me to a good point. Not sure why people focus so much on one on one. Group gatherings are way more reveling, safe, and easier to brake from with no hurt feelings.
There are definitely female friends that I have that I am not romantically or sexually interested in. That said I think twice I've had a female friend who I eventually wound up and developing feelings for one time it ended in a relationship the other time I don't remember.
Personally it is stressful because on one hand if you like this person in a romantic sense naturally you want to push things further but at the same time you don't want to lose a friend. Don't know what else to say about it it's just stressful
I lost my best friend a year or two ago to this. after 25 years i started to realize that she was in love with me and shortly after, I with her. we had an emotional affair for over 6 years after that. she told me that she did not want me to leave my wife for her. shortly after i wished her a happy birthday and never got a response from her again. 3 months later i got a text "I miss you too" and nothing ever again. the worst part is is see this all playing out again with my new best friend where i moved and i do NOT want to lose another friend. All i want is to stay in the friend zone.
If I ever fell for a girl I considered my friend I would never tell her, and I would do such a great job of disguising the fact, she would never know. I have some very good friends.. the type you have for life.. I would never risk that for all the tea in China... Besides, I could still buy it from Amazo... Sorry no. not a time to joke about.
It's really frustrating. I'm an overthinker so that's already frustrating, but then when I go an ruin a friendship, because I can't tell if she likes me. I spend too much time wondering if she likes me, start to develop feelings for her and then it just becomes uncomfortable. I have managed to have a few friendships without developing feelings though. Wish I could just enjoy peoples company and go with the flow more 😌
Attraction is natural. It is not wrong or even voluntary. There is a lot to attraction that is well understood and perhaps some aspects, like compatibility that is subconsciously detected through scent, that are not. How one behaves while attracted to someone is totally in his control, but the attraction itself is not. People, especially attractive people, who seek non-romantic friendships in the opposite sex, are bound to be disappointed on occasion.
You're jumping up and down over a guy who isn't interested in you? If my friends were interested in me that way even if I wasn't interested in them it would be a huge ego boost!
But to answer your question, it feels like shit. But we're men so we toughen up and deal with it as expected of us.
You'll find that most guy friends want to sleep with you and are biding their time. Women are either A. Using them (most often) B. Completely oblivious to his interest (likely impossible since women are far more in tune with social dynamics than men are)
Men are guilty of allowing themselves to be lead on as most of the time we know it. Women are still slightly more evil for being the puppetmaster and not setting the dude free like a beautiful butterfly.
Frustrated and scared shitless in my past experiences. That's why I keep very few female friends or the ones I do have have dealbreaker habits or behavior.
A lot of times, men have always had "Certain" feelings for female friends but it depends on the situation, whether or not they should ruin the relationship between the 2 or even jeopardizing the entire friend circle. Whenever a man friends you, always keep a thought that he may actually find you attractive or has feelings
I am very careful to avoid those situations but occationally it happens. And it sucks after. It feels like it was all a waste of time and you're just frustrated.
That can happen but some guys can really just handle it because they don't only focus on what's hurting them like what other guys would do also because they respect themselves and doesn't mind being single
Generally, we don't become friends with girls we wouldn't fuck. It's cruel, but it's the truth. Most men also don't know love from attraction. So, add the two up and we are into most of our female friends. Aka, we are used to it.
I think guys become acquainted with women in general if they think they are cute or in a mixed group. Feelings can become stronger afterwards. It might depend on the type of guy.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
we are suppose to fuck you girls
not sure why this is so hard for girls to understand that lol
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